Confessions of the Editor by laceym
by laceym
Summary: This is the continuing adventures of the Editor In Chief of the Demon Newsletter, Kelsey a.k.a.Denri, as she journeys to resolve her part in the fate of the Winchesters and consequently all others who suffered for her folly.
1. An Apology

An Apology

Oh where shall I begin? I who at times have lauded my brilliance at ensuring my solemn duty. Now find that it has been successfully thwarted and that I seriously underestimated the brilliance of those who I sought to confine and restrain.

I must entreat my readers to regard me with some kindness. A being such as myself is wont to engage in great acts of despair. My tears are tied to the rain and in fact I have been the unwitting cause of floods and hardships. But despite what I have previously put forward in my memoirs, I must state quite clearly that I shall be unflinching in the truth. I accept all the blame that shall be laid on my most deserved head and I shall be the bearer and cause of much unhappiness.

Denri/ Kelsey.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

There can be little said for the funeral of Jessica Lee Moore except that it was said. I did not appear to either Sam or Dean Winchester. My shame was too great and though at one point that I felt that I should be present for the call was great especially in Sam's sorrow, I did not go. Dean for his part did his best to console his brother, however, Sam was inconsolable. It was at this point that I recognized how very much alike Sam and John Winchester were. I had always said it, but here was now proof.

They spent a week in Palo Alto trying to figure out if the thing that killed Jessica also killed their mother. I knew the truth of it but I would not tell them. Dean I knew wondered at my not being there. However, I could not face them. Instead, I set out to look for John, which coincidentally was exactly what his children were doing. I surmised by own means that John left them a clue, however, I knew John was not about to be found unless he wanted it.

I thought quite well that John would be nowhere his sons were. So that meant that I had to start with Bobby. I made my way quickly to Bobby's junkyard. I stopped outside the house. It had been some time since I had visited and I was cognizant of human ways. I smiled. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. It swung open and Bobby stared at me in shock.

"Hello Bobby," I greeted him.

"Kelsey!" Bobby ran his hand over his face.

"I've not come at a ad time have I?" I smiled.

"No," he stepped back and allowed me entry into the house.

"It's been a long time," I commented.

"Well that's certainly an understatement," Bobby chuckled. "I take it that you're normal for you that is?"

"Oh yes," I affirmed. "I'm looking for John."

Bobby's face fell. I closed my eyes briefly. 'Leave it to John Winchester,' I thought.

"Do I have to ask what he did?" I prodded.

"I'm not going to tell you. But I finally lowered my shotgun at him," Bobby growled.

"He can be the damnedest man," I agreed.

Bobby laughed as he recalled that I had once soundly struck John with a book.

"Why don't you check with Dean?" Bobby asked.

I debated what to tell Bobby, then simply said, "Sam is with Dean and they don't know where he is."

Bobby found the nearest chair. His mind was obviously racing. I perched on another chair and waited.

"Sam is with Dean?" Bobby questioned.

"Yes," I nodded vigorously. "John didn't show up and Dean got Sam to help him."

Bobby shook his head as he tried to organize his thoughts. "Sam left school?" Bobby continued.

'Yes," I was succinct.

"I find that impossible to believe," Bobby said.  
I said for it would have to be explained.

"Sam's girlfriend was killed by the same thing that killed their mother," I explained.

Bobby sat up in his chair. His face paled as it occurred to him that the two events must be related.

I watched and waited for the response and reaction. Bobby loved both boys equally and perhaps more than John did. He was far more tolerant of John's irritation than he would have been if it were not for his concern for them. It was that affection which had endeared Bobby to me.

Bobby stood and paced about the room. I understood that this was a perfectly natural and normal reaction. I would not have been surprised by anything at this point.

"Does John know?" Bobby asked.

"That I can't say, as I'm searching for him remember?" I gently reminded him.

Bobby stared at me oddly for a moment. He furrowed his brow as he attempted to control his thoughts.

"Sam must be a wreck," he surmised.

"Yes," I agreed.

"Kelsey, why aren't you with them?" Bobby demanded.

I had a choice to make at that moment. I wasn't willing to admit my part in the tragedy that had visited the Winchesters.

"Dean can and will take care of his brother," I dismissed Bobby's question. "I have to find John."  
Bobby studied me for a moment. "I find it difficult to believe that you are not comforting Sam."

"Believe Bobby that there is something far more pressing than Sam's sorrow," I argued impatiently.

Bobby arched an eyebrow at me. "Kelsey, we don't know what kind of a supernatural being you are. But we do know that you would never willfully cause harm."

"But I would unwillingly cause harm?" I ventured.

Bobby did not respond.

I stood and walked to the door.

"Kelsey!" Bobby called me back.

It is apparent that you cannot help me. So I should stop wasting my time," I grumbled.

Bobby laughed at me. "Kelsey, whatever it is that's troubling you, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."  
I stared at him unseeing for a moment.

"Bobby," I began gently. "The enormity of what I have done is incalculable. The harm that I have caused you cannot begin to understand."

"I know that you Kelsey," Bobby disagreed. "You are incapable of real harm."  
I smiled, "Do not mistake me for a human being, Bobby. It is like you have said. You don't know what manner of supernatural being I am. So how can you even begin to estimate the level of harm that I can or cannot cause?"

Bobby appeared startled by revelation. He also seemed to be perturbed by the tone of my voice. I was not without strength and he knew that I was probably quite dangerous. My apprehension lessened and I softened my gaze.

"Don't worry Bobby. I'll find John."

Bobby didn't reply and I opened the door and left his house. I thought briefly of both Sam and Dean. I knew that they would be puzzled by my apparent desertion, however, I could not linger. I had to move quickly for time was against me.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I decided that I should go to visit Pastor Jim for he _**might**_ still be on speaking terms with John Winchester. I knew that I would find Jim at his church. I approached the building with care and then I stopped in my tracks. It was on a most singular sensation.

I wasn't being called but I knew in an instant Dean was in serious trouble. I crossed the distance quickly and was puzzled to find myself in a remote wooded area. I frowned as I recognized the stench. I swore to myself that I was going to do serious damage to John Winchester when I found him and this time I probably would use a shovel. I sensed the beast as it approached. I also heard Sam coming toward the entrance. I became invisible because I didn't think it wise for him to see me.

I tracked the beast to a point. It knew I was present and ignored its prey to confront me. I distracted the Wendigo until I heard Dean's voice screaming for the Wendigo to come after him. I was puzzled but I let the Winchesters handle the Wendigo as they saw fit. I thought of Dean's voice and filed his speech about 'white meat' and realized that his language was just as colorful as his father's.

I stayed long enough to ascertain that they were safe and despite cuts and bruises, they were fine. I chuckled at Dean's flirtation with the young woman who was a part of the group. It was good that he had bounced back from the heartbreak he had suffered. Although a part of me did wonder if he was simply doing what he normally did, bury his pain deep inside.

I returned to the church of Pastor Jim. I knocked on the rectory door and was admitted by a very surprised Jim.

"Kelsey!" he exclaimed.

"Pastor Jim," I greeted him warmly.

"What brings you here?" he hugged me.

"John Winchester," I answered bluntly.

Pastor Jim's face clouded for a moment, "He told me that the two of you didn't part well."

"It's the nature of being involved with John Winchester that nothing is ever done easily," I mused wryly.

Pastor Jim laughed at that. "The truth is John can be at times difficult."

"I've known mules who were less obstinate," I retorted. I stopped for a moment and fixed Jim with a very serious stare. "Where is he?"

Jim stroked his chin for a moment. "Well as I told Dean," he began.

I raised my hand and stopped him. "I am not Dean. I don't care what John told you to tell his son. I need to find him now!" I was adamant.

Pastor Jim was taken aback by my vehemence. He had never before heard me speak so strongly or forcibly. It was certainly the most forcibly I'd ever spoken without hurting anyone. After a brief pause he contemplated what to do. He wasn't afraid of me, however, he wasn't about to try my patience either.

"I don't know exactly where he is," Jim admitted.

"But you have a vague idea?" I pressed.

"Well, it's like this," Jim paused. "John is determined to find out what killed Mary. He wants to know why their family was singled out."

"Their family wasn't singled out," I snapped.

Jim gasped. I shook my head for I was more exasperated than ever.

"You know what happened?" he accused.

"I can make a good guess," I muttered.

I wasn't about to reveal the truth to him. That would have been far too much to bear. I realized instantly that John was going back to the beginning. Which meant that he was now searching for definite proof that it was a demon that walked their house that fateful night and killed his beloved Mary. I walked away from Jim, because he was not able to tell me the exact whereabouts of John. I berated myself for not having been clever enough to think of tagging him. Yet I should own to the fact that John had a great propensity for driving me to anger and that for his own safety it was probably best that I hadn't tagged him. But now I must, for I needed to locate him _**before**_ he encountered that particular Spawn and it was the death of him. I knew the set of John Winchester's mind as I had always known it from the instant I met him. He was prepared to die in this fight and in fact, he expected to die. It didn't matter to John what his death would do to his sons as long as he was able to exact vengeance for Mary's death. I wandered away from Pastor Jim's.

I realize at this point I must now begin to explain in detail what was going on. Let me start by saying, that if you have read my memoirs then you are undoubtedly aware that I was instrumental in the fashioning of a weapon that could kill any supernatural being that came out of Hell or was evil in nature. I had a man named Samuel Colt make such a weapon and I made the weapon have a dual purpose. It was this purpose that has caused much trouble. It was the dual nature of the gun that made it so dangerous and as such must be tracked down and destroyed.

Which ironically is what caused the problem in the first place. Samuel Colt could not part with the weapon that he had fashioned. He gave it to a hunter who used it to destroy supernatural entities. Everyone was pleased with the result except me. I wanted the gun destroyed and it was secreted before I could manage it. Now there are some who are reading this and are probably shaking their heads at my apparent insanity. However, there is nothing insane about securing the world from untold evil. But that evil had discovered the truth and it was imperative that I locate a hunter who was obsessed with the gun.

Daniel Elkins was certainly out of the question, he never admitted to actually possessing the gun and he was as liable to attempt to kill me as to help me. In truth, he was also just as likely and far more capable of success in killing John. But Daniel Elkins was the starting point. I would have to surmount the obstacle that John would become if I could procure the weapon. But I resolved to cross that hurdle when I got to it. Well I should say if I got to it.

Have you guessed at my crime, yet? What it was that I had done that haunted me? Although at the time of doing it I believed that I was being singularly brilliant. In time I will explain exactly what it was and leave you to judge me.

Thus it was with a heavy heart I set out for Lawrence Kansas. It was a place John had never returned with his sons, for there were far too many terrible memories present there. I didn't really believe that I would find him there, but it was a place to start.

So I journeyed to Lawrence and studied the house where the events had unfolded that had led John down this path. I saw a for sale sign on the lawn. The house had been rebuilt after the fire but I had wondered at its merit. I sensed her before she came into view.

"Kelsey?" Missouri's voice cut through the air.

"You know that it's me," I returned as I greeted her.

"Child," she sighed. "It's been a long time since I've seen you."

"It's been too long," I agreed.

"You are searching for something?" she asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"You wouldn't lie would you?" she teased.

I studied her for a moment, as I wondered about something. Why was Sam Winchester chosen? I turned back and looked at the house. There was something that I was missing. Every year there are powerful psychic children born and not all of them would have been approached by the demon… so what was it about Sam that made him stand out?

Missouri waited patiently for my response. I smiled.

"No," I shook my head. "It would make no sense to do that."

"What is it then?" she linked her arm with mine and we walked away from the house.

"I'm searching for John Winchester," I told her.

"John is hunting the thing that killed his family," she said.

"Pastor Jim told me," I nodded.

"So you figured he'd start here?" she guessed.

"Yep," I shrugged. "To seek a human one needs to think like one."

"Well that won't work," Missouri noted.

I felt my eyebrow raise, "Huh?"

"Remember who you're dealing with?" Missouri said pointedly.

I frowned at her.

"John Winchester, like most people won't act in a logical or methodical manner," Missouri's voice was gentle. "Remember that this is the place where he had the most horrific experience of his life. This is not where he would start. He'll get here eventually I suppose, but not for now."

"Why not start at the beginning?" I was completely mystified.

"That would be logical and practical perhaps, but not very human," Missouri shook her head.

I considered this for a moment. I was therefore at a complete loss as to where John would go. I told her this and Missouri laughed.

"Well, I can't tell you what John would do," she waved at a passing neighbor. "But I can tell you what I would do."

"What would you do?" I asked.

"I'd wonder if my family was the only one," Missouri suggested.

"But they're not," I shrugged.

Missouri gave me an indulgent smile. "That's the problem with you Kelsey, you're not human."

"Humans are far too puzzling," I scowled.

"It is the human condition," Missouri explained. "For instance, when people come to me for a reading, they don't want to hear the truth. They want me to comfort them."

"Why don't they want the truth?" I must confess that it was something that had always disturbed me as well.

"Because they already know the truth, child," Missouri replied.

I nodded. "So that means that I have to go to the site of similar events like what happened here in Lawrence all those years ago," I reasoned.

"Perhaps," Missouri agreed. "Tell me something, how come you don't know where John is?"

"I never bothered to…" I trailed off.

"That wasn't very smart of you," Missouri laughed.

She was right. But then I was still grappling with the fact that my brilliance had ended up creating disaster. I sighed and thought of where I needed to go next.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Before you become too concerned for the welfare of both Sam and Dean Winchester, I will tell you that they certainly were having a _**grand time**_ tracking down their father. I may be exaggerating by saying that they were having a _grand time_. I wasn't sure where to start so I chose to watch over the two of them. Especially in light of the fact that John had sent them in the path of a Wendigo, I was particularly concerned.

Since I had to do my own research I decided to check in with the boys. But I didn't want them to recognize me, so I chose a different guise. I sat at a breakfast counter choosing the form of a heavyset trucker. Dean sat staring at a newspaper and was circling something with a pen. I sat as close as possible but he paid me scant attention. The waitress was buxom and far too appealing for him to notice anything else. Sam came into the place and their conversation was not too pleasant.

"Dad's trail is getting cold everyday," Sam complained.

"You think that I don't want to find Dad?" Dean retorted.

I was distracted by the waitress at that point and caught the snippet about them being allowed to have fun. I tucked into the coffee, thankful that I was no longer subjugated to tasting it. They paid their bill and got up from the counter. I chuckled as I studied the waitress. She certainly fit Dean's idea of what was fun.

I walked to the door and watched them pull out of the parking lot. I nodded my head, they were on a job and John wasn't in that direction. I walked away from the diner and resumed my regular form. If John was searching for a pattern then I had to as well. I wasn't going to go back into the archives but I knew that the Spawn had a way of preparing for the future. There was a method to what was being done. The babies were all psychic so that meant that he would seek out other psychic infants. I therefore had to try to get to them as well. Perhaps, by that route I'd find John.

Sam had appeared agitated, while Dean was calm. He was as worried about John being missing however he was being systematic in his search. From my conversation with Pastor Jim, Dean had already been in contact trying to find John. That told me Dean's arrival at Stanford to get help from Sam indicated his need to connect with his family. Dean didn't seek me out at that point, though he called after Jessica's death. I knew Dean quite well and from how he acted with Sam there was a great deal that troubled him. But Dean wasn't about to tell Sam that he was truly worried about their father.

I found the nearest cemetery so that I could survey the names of the newly dead. I looked for young mothers who perished. I found a name and employed the same investigative technique that I had seen hunters use. I posed as a newspaper reporter. It was rough going at first but I discovered that the family had suffered with the death of the mother in a nursery fire about three days before. The baby was six months old. I had a chance to see the child and noted that the infant was the same as Sam, psychic. I left and returned during the night.

I decided to do something that was potentially dangerous to the infant. However at this point I was desperate. I took the infant from her cradle and placed her on the floor of the room. I formed a circle of light around her and muttered the incantations that would reveal the truth to me. I saw what the infant saw. Her mother confronted the Spawn and he killed her by pinning her to the ceiling and ripping her to pieces. The fire was sparked to cover up the murder of the mother. The father came running into the room, plucked the baby from the cradle and ran from the house screaming his wife's name. But when he got outside he realized that she was still inside the building. The neighbors restrained him from rushing back into the building. He never saw her trapped to the ceiling and therefore he had no idea that what happened was not simply a horrific accident.

I then purged the child of the blood bonding. I placed a seal of silence around the room for it was a dangerous thing. I was determined to purge the child and thwart the Spawn. I knew the risks and was perfectly willing to live with the consequences of my actions. I worked hard and the infant screamed as the pain ripped her apart. The blood bond was purged and fortunately the child survived. I healed the damage that had been inflicted on the child, but I drove the evil that would poison her soul and make her more susceptible to the influence of the Spawn. I then sealed her from further harm and in so doing prevented her from being possessed. I was permitted to do this, for the child's right to choose had been violated by the Spawn so I was empowered to seal her from evil.

I perhaps should explain why I had not done a similar thing to Sam when he was a baby. I was fortunate in this instance. The child survived the injury that was inflicted on her. In most cases the child dies. I would have probably ended up killing Sam, as he was further away from the time of infection. I would have been forced to make it look like 'crib death'. I felt that John Winchester had been through enough and besides I didn't realize at the time what was happening with Sam. Had I known, I might have attempted it. At this point all I could hope was that my shared essence with him was strong enough to keep him away from the intentions of the Spawn. However, I doubted that I had given Sam anything more than simply a fighting chance. I could attempt to purge him but I doubted that Dean would forgive me for killing his brother.

I placed her in the crib and lulled her to sleep. She yawned, stretched and gurgled happily as she drifted off to sleep. I glanced around the room. I removed the seal and left the house. I walked slowly down the street and turned the corner. I sensed that I was being followed however I was not disturbed as I would hardly be an easy prey for any attacker.

I slowed my steps and then I frowned as I recognized the footstep. I shook my head.

"Kelsey," John spoke quietly.

"John," I greeted him. "So, you sneaking up on girls now?"

John chuckled, "Most girls wouldn't be completely unafraid."

"Shows what you know," I grumbled.

"You're looking for me?" John raised an eyebrow.  
"Hmm, it seems that Pastor Jim called you as soon as I left," I surmised.

John looked away from me for a moment. "What do you want Kelsey?"

"Watch your tone John," I warned.

He nodded.

"I have need of you," I explained.

"What do you need of me?" he questioned.

"Daniel Elkins," I stated flatly.

"I don't think that Daniel Elkins wants to hear from you Kelsey," John smirked.

"I don't care what Daniel Elkins wants," I shot back.

"Well, I don't have his address," John shrugged.

"I doubt that John," I scoffed.

"The boys have my journal," John said.

I glared at him. "Apparently you think that you're dealing with someone who doesn't know you. You gave your boys that journal to help them hunt while you chased down the thing that killed your wife."

John stared at me, "You know what happened."

"Hmm, Pastor Jim did a lot of talking," I shrugged.

I turned and walked away from him. John caught up with me. One thing I had learned over the millennia of dealing with humans is that you must learn their game and then change the rules on them. John knew that I was in possession of information that he needed.

"Why are you forcing your sons to look for you?" I asked.

John remained silent.

"You know that Sam's girlfriend was killed?" I continued.

"Jim mentioned it," John replied.

"And how do you feel about it?" I asked.

John didn't answer.

"You know if you keep this up, then I'll just have to take my chances with Elkins," I walked further away from him.

"Damn it!" John swore. "What do you want me to say?"

"That you're going to call your son," I fixed him with a hard stare.

"I can't call him," John muttered.

I sighed. John Winchester hadn't mellowed in the time we'd not seen each other. I honestly didn't think that it was possible for him to be more difficult but he was.

"What will it take for you to cooperate with me?" I changed the subject.

"I want answers," John stated flatly.

"I can't give you answers," I said.

John studied me for a moment. "There are some things that you can answer Kelsey."

"Perhaps," I evaded.

"I want to know what killed my wife," John demanded.

"Are you sure that's the right question?" I asked him.

John looked at me puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Well John," I smiled. "The thing about questions is that the right ones get the answers you need. The wrong ones leave with information that's irrelevant."

John stopped walking. "I shouldn't ask what killed my wife but why?"

"That's a good question," I nodded.

"Why was my wife killed?" John asked.

"I don't know," I told him.

His face fell.

"I can guess though," I said.

"How?" John asked.

I smiled at him.

"You were in that house a long time," he observed.

"I was fixing something," I said.

"It was a demon," John noted.

"A demon?" I repeated.

"It's what Elkins said the first time I met him," John recalled.

"Oh," I remembered that I was interrupted while they had their conversations, but Elkins did tell him that.

"So the question I should ask, is why did the demon kill my wife and what was the demon doing in Sammy's room," John guessed.

"The death of your wife wasn't," I paused.

"What?" John drew closer to me.

"Your wife confronted the demon John," I said. "If she didn't give in to her maternal instinct and tried to protect her child then…"

"All the mothers were killed," John said.

"Well, the women were killed because they got in the way," I told him.

John stared at me with tear filled eyes and I shook my head.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We stood there in the middle of the street for what seemed like an age, then, John turned away from me and sniffed loudly. His shoulders went rigid.

"Sammy," he whispered.

John was finally beginning to see beyond his narrow objective.

"That son of a bitch was in Sammy's nursery," John continued. "It was after Sammy."

"And the right questions will lead you where you need to go," I said.

"What did you do in that house?" John demanded.

"I fixed what was done," I answered.

John looped my arm in his and practically dragged me to his pickup.

"This is a bit…well…Neanderthal of you John?" I jibed.

"Kelsey," John handed me into the pickup. "Just stay in the truck."

I needed his cooperation. I had already reasoned that I would have to give him some answers. It all boiled down to choice in the end. John started the engine and drove to his motel. I got out of the truck and followed him to his room. He chuckled as he closed the door behind him.

"What?" I was puzzled.

"At least they won't be curious as to what I'm doing here," he mused.

I frowned at him.

"It's okay Kelsey," John drew forward a chair.

I perched on the edge of another.

"Why didn't you do the same thing for Sammy?" he asked.

I expected the question would have been asked.  
"I will admit that I wasn't entirely sure about why it had happened. And there was another concern," I explained.  
"What was that?" John pressed.

"I met you several months after your wife died. It would have been far too dangerous to attempt what I did for that infant tonight then," I continued.

"Wasn't it dangerous now?" John asked.

"The event happened three days ago. Which meant that the infant had a greater chance of surviving," I lowered my head.

"You could have killed that baby," John stated.

"Yes," I admitted.

John rested his head on his fist. "You would have killed Sammy."

"Yes," I confirmed.

"What if I kill that demon?" John asked.

"John that's not something…" the expression on his face killed my sentence.

"Kelsey," John's voice was quiet.

"It should end everything," I whispered.

"Why don't you kill it?" John asked.

"I'm not allowed," I said.

John stood and glared at me. "Not allowed?"

"There are rules John," I tried to calm him.

"Well aren't there rules against what was done?" John snarled.

"Yes," I nodded. "But things are more complicated than you know."  
"What is really going on?" John thundered.

"It's war John," I told him.

"War?" he frowned.  
"A war that has been going on for a very long time," I said in low voice. "A war that has gone on for too long."

"Kelsey?" John's voice reflected his concern.  
"You have no idea John," I smiled sadly. "You have no idea. But that's enough for tonight. I shan't answer any more questions."

I hopped off the chair and headed for the door. John's hand on my arm stopped me.

"You don't have to leave now Kelsey," John said.

"Yes," I shook my head. "I do."

He released my arm. "It's not going to be easy to find me."

I hung my head. "It's okay. I have my means."

John stared at me quite puzzled. I moved quickly and touched his cheek with my lips thereby tagging him. John pulled his head away and frowned at me.

"I'm not kissing you John," I said.

"Then what do you call that?" he asked.

"I told you," I beamed at him. "I have my means of finding you."

John wiped his cheek. I laughed at him.

"It won't work," I assured him.

"Great," John muttered. "I've been marked."

"I like to think of it as being tagged," I grinned.

John didn't look comfortable at the prospect. Then his brow knitted as he recalled something that happened several years before.

"Dean as a child kissed your chin," John's frown deepened.

"Yes," I nodded.

"That's how you can find him," John surmised.

"No," I shook my head. "That's how he can call me."

"Because he has in effect tagged you?" John wondered.

"Not exactly, but close enough," I said.

John nodded. He didn't understand completely but was willing to accept it. I left John in that motel room for I couldn't answer any more of his questions.

I walked away from the motel and found myself in a cemetery. I found an old headstone and perched on it. I thought of all that John and his sons had suffered. I also considered the other families. I shook my head. I thought of Samuel Colt. I had taken the form of a chaste woman, who was determined to never marry and he was intrigued by my oddness. However, that didn't stop him from attempting to include me in his life.

I must admit that it was rather flattering to be pursued that way. However I had my motives. I needed Samuel Colt to do something and that involved using every ounce of guile I possessed. I had no problem using Samuel Colt for as I said before I thought that I was being brilliant. I folded my arms and stared up at the night sky. I certainly did a wonderful job of being brilliant.

"I didn't think to find you here," Micah said.

"Where else would I be?" I returned.

"Hunting the thing that killed the girl," Micah sat next to me.

"It's not that simple," I replied.

"Hmm," Micah responded. "You want to tell me?"

"No," I shook my head.

"Perhaps you'd fell more comfortable with Raphael," Micah suggested.

I turned to him and narrowed my eyes. I quickly scanned our surroundings and saw Raphael sitting under a tree.

"He's afraid of me," my frown deepened.

"Perhaps," Micah shrugged.

I returned my attention to the stars in the sky.

"Why don't you just come home?" Micah said. "You must want to."

"I can't go back," I whispered.

"You were never banished Denri," Micah argued.

"We've had this discussion before," I was quite annoyed.

"There's so much that we could do," Micah offered.

I looked at him for a moment, "What? Since when did you get in the business of temptation?"

"Your speech is taking on human inflection," Micah admonished.

"It happens," I retorted.

"You're so violent in your responses," Micah mused.

I thought about his presence in the cemetery. "What do you want?"

"You know that the Winchesters have separated," Micah said.

"I just left the father," I answered.

"Yes," Micah nodded. "The sons are looking for him. And he is about to find you."

I heard the crunch of tires on gravel and my head spun in the direction of the noise. The headlights turned off and the door opened. It was John. I didn't bother to look if Micah was still next to me for I knew that he was already gone.

"Chasing ghosts in a cemetery John?" I asked.

"No," he walked toward me with his hands in the pocket of his jacket.

"What brings you here?" I needed solitude.

"We never finished our discussion," John argued.

"Have you called your sons?" I asked.

John stared at the ground for a moment, "You know that you keep saying that you're not human. But when you ask a question like that…"

"I sound human?" I guessed.

"Just like a woman too," John stared directly at me. "You're not a woman."

I smiled. "Well, technically I don't have a gender. I simply am."

"How can you not have a gender? Demons have gender," John argued.

"I'm a demon now?" I asked him.

"No," John shook his head. "There are times when I've debated what you are. Bobby's at a loss as well. Missouri certainly never had a clue. Daniel, well, he just hated you after a while."

"Yes," I nodded sadly as I recalled that horrible parting. "Daniel was upset at what he thought was an affront to his hunter's ability."

"He thought that you could fool us too well," John explained.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"I guess he worried that if you could get so close then something truly evil could as well," John continued.

"That makes absolutely no sense," I spat.

"Well," John shrugged. "It made sense to him."  
"But not to you," I arched an eyebrow.

"I," John stopped.

"What?" I leaned forward.

"What exactly are you Kelsey?" John asked quietly.

I sat still on the headstone and contemplated John's question carefully. I sighed.

"John," I said softly. "I'm not a demon. In fact, I'm something much worse."

"But what are you?" John pressed.

"I am not permitted to tell you that," I answered truthfully.

"Why not?" John demanded.

"It is what it is," I looked away from him.

"My sons are in danger!" John raised his voice. "There is something that has put Sammy in harm's way and I need to know that I can trust you!"

"Trust me John?" I hopped off the headstone. "How can you possibly say that to me?"

"You have answers and you won't give them," John snarled.

"Oh, I have answers?" I shook my head. "I don't have answers John. I have suspicions. I've been trying to figure this thing out for as long as you have. I have better resources and I'm not getting anywhere!"

"But something happened to change that," John's voice dropped in volume.

I stepped back and studied him closely. "What makes you say that?"

"You want me to find Daniel. You have an idea what the plan is. You weren't told of Jessica's death," John told me.

I closed my eyes briefly. He wasn't in contact with his sons, but Pastor Jim probably was. Or even Bobby had called.

"Bobby called them," I whispered.

"Bobby called Jim. Jim called Dean. Dean told him about Jessica's death. He said that they hadn't told anyone," John said.

"Dean figured that I was there?" I questioned.

"No," John shook his head. "Jim made it seem like he'd been concerned that he hadn't heard from Dean in a while. But for you to know…"

"I got there too late," I told him.

"How late?" John demanded.

"Dean was dragging Sam out of the burning building. Sam was screaming Jessica's name. I rushed in and she was almost totally burnt," I replied.

John hung his head. "And you know it's the same damn thing. How?"

"I fought it," I answered.

"You lost?" John sounded surprised.

"Not exactly," I shook my head. "It said something."

"What?" John grabbed my arms.

"It said that it killed Jessica because Sam was happy," I whispered.

John released me and stared at me with an expression of horror on his face.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

We stood in the middle of the cemetery staring at each other. John remained silent, as it was obvious that his mind was trying to grapple with what I had revealed. I had certainly told John far more than I had intended but it was done. So it made no difference to reveal the rest. Well, not all of it, for I still had hope to salvage the situation as best I could.

"I've got to save my son. I have to kill that demon," John swore.

"You think it's going to be that easy John?" I asked.

John glared at me. "You can help."

"Not as much as you'd like," I replied.

"What do you mean? I'll do anything to save my son," John ground out.

"I doubt you mean that John," I answered.

"What?" John thundered. "You think that I don't love my son enough to give my life for him if necessary!"

"Which son?" I asked.

"Both if I have to. I'd trade my soul for them," John growled.

I shook my head. "It's not that simple John."

"Then explain it to me. Explain it to the simple human," John snapped.

I sighed. It kept coming back to choice. But could John make that choice? I doubted he'd be able to do that. I knew of no man who loved his children who could.

"You don't want to know John," I said finally.

John stormed off. He got in his truck and gunned his engine as he tore out of the cemetery. I hugged myself and considered the facts. John as much as he claimed that he wanted to know the truth wouldn't cope with it. I decided that if it came to it, it was better for everyone if I dealt with the fallout.

I walked away from the cemetery. I followed the road and heard a car come up behind me. I stopped and the door swung open. I got in and sat beside Micah. He drove in the direction of the airport. I frowned.

"Micah?" I asked.

"You are getting on a plane," Micah told me.

"Why?" I was puzzled.

"Michael said that you're supposed to," Micah shrugged.

I turned to him, "I don't obey Michael."

"True," Micah nodded. "But you did make a deal with him all those years ago to save that hunter named Bobby."

I rolled my eyes. "So I do this and it's cleared?"

"No," Micah shook his head. "It's the first part of the debt repayment."

"What is this?" I demanded.

"The price of making a deal," Micah said.

I opened the door and hopped out of the moving vehicle. I screamed and the place shook. Micah stopped the car and waited.

I stared at the car and waited as well. Then I heard it.

"You know, you should watch that temper," Michael said.

"You should watch your step," I warned.

"Are you going to fight me?" Michael asked.

"What will it take to repay the debt?" I snarled.

Michael took a step back. "You're very angry."  
"You are interfering with something that I have to do," I snapped.

"You only have two things to do to repay the debt," Michael said.

"What are they?" I placed one hand on my hip.

"The first involves you getting on that plane and saving people from the demon who is about to crash it," Michael said.

"And the second?" my voice became cold.

"You have to make a deal," Michael said.

"When?" I demanded.

"We don't know yet," Michael said.

"Michael, if you're jerking me around, they won't find you," I threatened.

Michael started at the threat. He realized that I was serious about it.

"That's all we need you to do," Michael said.

"Fine!" I shouted at him as I walked back to the car and got in.

Micah stared at me for a moment.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing," Micah said as he resumed driving.

We drove for about ten minutes until we were at the airport. Micah handed me a boarding pass for the flight. I stared at it for a moment.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Make sure that people survive the crash," Micah instructed.

"Shouldn't I prevent the crash?" I wondered.

"No," Micah shook his head. "It's a demon who is in possession of a passenger. This demon likes to crash planes. We can't stop the plane from crashing but we can have survivors."

"So," I frowned at Micah. "I just pick random people to save on this flight?"

"Yep," Micah nodded.

"I don't get it. Why don't you do it yourselves?" I asked.

"We can't interfere directly," Micah said. "You know that."  
"But you can make me do it?" I was furious for I knew that I had put myself in this position.

"Well, you are from Hell," Micah shrugged.

I narrowed my gaze at him and he flinched. I got out of the car and walked to the terminal. I presented my boarding pass and smiled at the flight attendant, I took her hand and counted her as one. I passed the pilot next to her, I stumbled and he caught me, so he became number two. I walked through the plane and randomly touched people. I had just enough to survive the plane crash. I knew that I wouldn't be counted as one of the survivors.

I waited for the plane to take off and then when it had reached the appointed the time I saw the possessed passenger rip off the rear flight door and the plane plunged to the ground. I became light and surrounded each of those I had picked to survive. I was told to make the choice random and I adhered to that instruction. The plane slammed into the ground and the survivors were stunned that they were saved.

I perched atop a severed wing and watched the clean up crew assess the wreckage. One of them looked at the whole scene and was rather disturbed. I saw him pull out his cell phone and rapidly dial a number. He seemed interesting so I followed him back to his office. I stayed close enough to hear his conversation. I frowned as I realized that he was speaking to Dean. He returned to his office while remaining on the phone.

I followed him so that I could stay close enough to hear them speak about the plane crash. It was obvious that both Sam and Dean were coming to see him. I shrugged and paid it little attention. I was puzzled as to why Michael wanted there to be survivors of the plane crash. I knew the particular demon that was involved and felt that there wasn't much to be gained by thwarting it. I knew perfectly well that the survivors weren't safe, that the demon would find a way to kill them, therefore keeping its death tally intact. It may seem difficult for others to realize that there's an actual death tally for certain demons, but each demon in Hell has very specific duties and responsibilities. I have mine even though I am not a demon.

I waited for Sam and Dean's arrival. Dean was eager to help until he discovered it was a demon. They were both concerned and conducted their hunt according to their training. I merely checked in to see that they didn't manage to get themselves killed in the process. Which is how I ended up in disguise on another flight. I thought it was amusing that Dean was afraid of flying. I was amazed that he actually admitted to having a fear to his brother. However, Dean wasn't about to let Sam get on the plane by himself. I watched to see what was their plan of action.

I was seated next to a very strangely dressed person. I wasn't certain if the person was male or female and I will confess to permitting my curiosity to distract me. But something made me realize that neither Sam nor Dean were in their seats. I looked around and saw that they were in the back of the plane with the same flight attendant I had saved from the previous flight.

Dean managed to locate the demon. I waited to see what they would do next and was both impressed and horrified that they were conducting an exorcism in mid – air. The plane got out of control and Sam finished the exorcism. There was one moment when I held my breath and that was when the demon told Sam that he knew why Jessica died. I would have been forced to intervene if Sam hadn't finished the incantation.

I pretended to be one of the grateful passengers on the plane, however I was seething inside. I was going to make them pay severely for this. I calmed down and thought about this carefully. Why did they pick this flight? Nothing with any of them was random. They wanted survivors because they knew that Sam and Dean would have been called to deal with it. Which raised a very troubling probability that I had missed in the conversation with Micah. The Winchesters had separated. They were still watching the family and the burning question was why?

I shook my head to clear it. I decided to employ my most trusted method to eavesdrop. Both of them sat on the hood of the car listening to the voice recording of John. He was telling anyone who needed help to call Dean. I crooked an eyebrow at that one. Sam and Dean were visibly shaken and upset by the recording. I mentally railed at John Winchester for doing this to his sons. However, I had opened his eyes to the real danger that was out there. John had shifted from seeking revenge to protecting his son. But it was like John not to tell his sons that the focus had changed. I could see the merit in his plan. I could even understand his need to keep his sons out of the hunt he was on. What I didn't agree with was the way he was making them worry. I couldn't fathom part of it.

Everyone has to make choices. I was faced with a very particular one at the moment. John wanted answers to questions that no one else actually had. I realized what was going on. That demon knew that something was going on. Which meant that I had to go down into Hell and start searching among the factions. The ones who would know of the worst plans and get the information out of them. I prayed I was wrong, yet knew I was right. I stood at the fence next to the runway and watched the car drive away.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I shall not go into the details of exactly what I did in Hell to get the rest of the information that I needed. Suffice it to say that there is a valid reason for demons to fear me. It took me a few weeks to find a demon that could be tortured into revealing the plan. I will say that my feelings sank as I realized that I was perfectly correct. I was left with a choice and that was not one I particularly relished.

I am by no means squeamish mind you. I have done my fair share of bloodletting over the millennia. I have wielded my sword in obedience at targets that were selected. When I was told to hold my weapon I obeyed. When I was told the exact purpose I was to fill, I obeyed. I have always obeyed. It is a difficult thing to explain obedience to beings that have Free Will. None of my kind would deign to actually disobey. Those who disobey are banished. They are cast out of home and cast down in to the depths of the pit. They are separated from the light and call of Grace and the depression that follows is terrible. There is the painful knowledge that there can be no going home. This is not to say that there is no forgiveness for my kind, for there is. It is just that in order to earn that forgiveness, a great sacrifice must be made. It is the unwillingness to perform the sacrifice that has severed so many from their home. My burden is that until they all go home, I cannot. This is the secret, which Michael and the others have long wished to pull from me. Yet it is not as simple as I would hope.

Armed with my answer I left Hell to walk the surface in search of John Winchester. I followed his presence to of all places Lawrence. What was even further puzzling to me was the presence of both Sam and Dean. They were all at their house but not together. John stood outside waiting for something to happen. I appeared just as there was a bright flash of light through the house. I placed my hand on John's shoulder and he uncharacteristically jumped.

"John," I chuckled at his fright. "A big, bad hunter like yourself is afraid of me?"  
"Kelsey!" John recovered quickly. "How the hell did you find me?" Then he placed his hand on his cheek and grimaced. "Never mind."  
"Why are Sam and Dean in the house without you?" I asked.

"They don't know I'm here," John told me.

My eyes widened in shock. I had to control the urge to strike him. "And why not?"

"Because there are things that I have to find out first Kelsey," John faced me. "You know that."  
"Your sons need you," I advised him.

"Let's go," John pulled me with him.

I glanced back and saw a woman returning with two children. Sam and Dean greeted her with Missouri. I frowned at the sight of them. They looked shaken but they were fine. I wondered at this game that John played.

John drove to Missouri's house where we waited for her. I refused to speak to John and that seemed to suit him for wasn't in a great hurry to speak to me. After about twenty minutes the door opened and Missouri bade goodnight to both Sam and Dean. She entered the house and stopped when she saw me perched on the edge of a chair.

"Kelsey!" she smiled. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for John," I smiled in return.

She nodded and then saw John seated with his chin resting on his intertwined fingers.

"Well you found him," Missouri's voice held a note of derision.

I was surprised by that note in her voice, "He's giving you trouble I take it."

"Oh you mean by not speaking to his sons?" Missouri asked.

"Yep," I replied.

"He won't do that. Especially now that they need him the most what with Sam's abilities and all," Missouri shot John a withering look.

John didn't raise his head.

"Wait a minute," I sat up straighter. "Sam's abilities have shown up?"

John's head snapped up at that moment. "What do you mean shown up?"  
"Hush up," I told him. "Missouri, you're saying that Sam's been having visions? Since when?"

Missouri looked at me oddly, "But I thought you would have bonded with Sam since he was a baby."  
"I couldn't. It wasn't possible," I answered.

"Dean told me that Sam has been having these dreams that come true," Missouri nodded.

"He told you or you read it?" I asked.

"It's the same thing," Missouri grinned.

"Will you please answer me as to why you're acting as though Sam should have had this thing all along?" John demanded.

I turned to him and studied him for a moment. I was about to speak when I sensed something.  
"Missouri, I think you had better return to the house," I told her.

She stared at me for a moment and then quickly left.

"You haven't answered my question Kelsey," John reminded.

"That's true," I replied. "I haven't."

"Kelsey," John's voice rose a notch in volume.

"You know, John," I began sweetly. "Shouting at me doesn't work."  
"There are times when I wished that you had stayed human," John muttered.

"But I wasn't a very good human," I retorted.

"You could be handled," John argued.

I recalled the time I had spent with them. While it was true that they spent a great deal of time 'manhandling' me. It was also true that I was far from controllable.

"You're engaging in revisionist history John," I taunted.

John folded his arms and sat back in his chair. The phone rang and it was Missouri. She spoke to John briefly and I ignored their conversation.

We waited until morning for Missouri returned. She came in through the door.

"That boy, such power," she shook her head. "But why he couldn't sense his own father is beyond me."

John looked up at her sadly. "You really think it was Mary's presence that saved the boys?"

"I do," Missouri nodded.

John played with the wedding band he still wore. I thought of the fact that it had been twenty-two years and he still wore that ring.

Missouri became impatient, "John Winchester why don't you call your children?"

"I can't. Not yet. Not 'til I find out what's really going on," he looked over at me.

I rolled my eyes at him.

Missouri stepped forward, "It's not my place to argue with something as old as you are Kelsey. But you have to tell us what's going on."

John's hunter's instincts kicked it at this point. "How do you know how old she is Missouri?"

Missouri sat in her chair. "She knew my grandmother Memphis when she was a child. Kelsey was here the night my grandmother night died, which incidentally was the same night Mary died. Kelsey battled whatever it was."

"It was a demon," I told her.

"You could have said something a long time ago," Missouri scolded.

"I didn't know," I pleaded my ignorance.

"So you know what she is?" John asked Missouri.  
"No," Missouri shook her head. "Kelsey is something that is indefinable. She is not like anything I have ever encountered before. But I can tell she's not limited to such descriptions as good or evil."

"Are you saying that Angels exist Missouri?" John's face was grave.

"I've walked in the presence of Angels, John," Missouri told him. "But she's something far different."

I leaned forward at that point. "It would help perhaps to not speak about me as though I was not here."

John turned to me. "What are you Kelsey?"

"I'm not something that can be defined. However, you want answers John. I have a question first," I bargained.

"What question?" John returned.

"I want to know how you plan on tracking this demon?" I queried.

"Bobby and I have come up with a tracking system. When we learned that there were other families that had a similar experience we began to search for common threads. I've been tracking the signs and attempting to locate the demon. I'll admit that I've had a couple of scary run ins, but nothing that I couldn't handle," John admitted.

"So, that explains the urgency," I whispered.

"What?" Missouri and John declared in unison.

"To explain this, will take some time," I told them.

"Go ahead," Missouri waved her hand at me. "I'm very interested."

I looked at John and he gave me a sharp nod.

I took a deep breath and began slowly. "It was always in the very beginning decided that humans would have Free Will."

"You're talking about the legend of the fall from Heaven," Missouri said.

I chuckled. "Well, what is legend and myth to _you_ is a very painful recollection to me."

John's head shot up at that statement. "You're an angel."  
"Not the kind that you think of when you're going to bed as a child, John," I said. "I'm one of those who it is said carries awful weapons."

"Well," John mused. "You're certainly violent enough."

"So what does this demon want?" Missouri demanded.

"To win the war," I answered.

"The war?" John asked. "But…" his eyes clouded as he remembered what I had said earlier about the war still being waged.

"This war is the same war from the beginning?" Missouri whispered.

"Yes," I stood and walked to the window. "It wasn't expected I suppose. It was always possible and maybe it was known but not revealed. No one knows really. We were simply expected to obey. Some wanted answers and what started off as a simple argument. Well…" I stopped for a moment.

"Kelsey?" Missouri's voice reflected her concern.

"I'm okay," I smiled at her.

"What is your real name?" John asked.

"No one knows my real name," I replied.

"But the others don't call you Kelsey," Missouri frowned.

"Of course not, I have a name among them. But that is not my real name," I told her.

"What is your real name?" John repeated.

"Not even I am privileged to know that name," I said sadly.

"Why not?" John demanded.

Missouri remained silent. Her mind was mulling over things that she had observed. I can guess at this for she fixed me with a steady gaze.

"Memphis said that you were different from all others," Missouri's face was serious.

"Yes," I nodded. "She was always saying that."

"You don't have to tell us anymore," Missouri said.

"Like hell she doesn't!" John thundered.

"John Winchester," Missouri turned on him, "Do you have any idea how fortunate you are that you had this being in your life. She could have chosen to move on but she bonded with your children…"

Missouri turned to me and her eyes grew troubled. She had had a revelation.

"The demon bonded with Sammy didn't it?" she whispered.

I nodded my head sorrowfully.

"My son's going to become evil?" John's voice became hoarse with emotion.

"The poison will eat at him," Missouri frowned. "Why not just possess him?"

"Because only a human can do what needs to be done," I answered cryptically.

"What?" they both asked as their confusion grew.

"The demon wants them to do something. However, it cannot be done by a possessed human and since no human would willingly do what it wants, it must influence by poison," I explained.

"How long has this been going on?" Missouri asked.

"There were rumors for some time now," I replied.

"Time doesn't move the same way for us as it does for you," Missouri said grimly.

"They've never succeeded," John surmised.

"Well the children were often stopped," I answered.

"How?" John asked.

I stared at him for a moment. I looked down at my hands and contemplated lying.

"There were attempts to save them John," I assured him. "The poison would have completely corrupted their souls. But once they gave in and accepted the corruption, there was only one option left." I stared directly into his eyes. "They were killed."

Missouri's hands flew over her mouth and John's face hardened into granite.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I gave them some time to discuss what I had told them. I needed to step away from them as well. I understood that this was an incredible burden that landed on the shoulders of John Winchester. It was one thing to think of having to kill another person. John would have done his fair share in the Marines, however things were different when it came to contemplating having to kill his own son.

John stood and walked across to the room to where I was. He gripped my shoulders and brought his nose close to mine.

"I will kill this son of bitch and save my son," John repeated his vow from earlier.

"And if you can't John?" I pressed him. "If you can't stop Sam from succumbing to evil, do you have the strength to kill him?"

John stepped away from me. "I can't be expected to kill my own son."

"No one is asking you to do that John," I assured him.

Missouri found her voice, "Kelsey, if what you're saying is true. And that boy has to be killed if we can't save him. Just who is going to do that?"

John refused to look at me.  
"I will," I told them.

John shook his head. "Kelsey, you can't kill Sam anymore than I can."

"Why do you say that?" I challenged.

"Because that boy is as close to your heart as if you gave birth to him," John leveled me with his gaze.

I stared at John for a moment. "John," I said quietly, "I am not human."

"I don't care," John shook his head. "You couldn't kill him."

"John," my voice was barely a whisper. "I have wiped out entire cities. I have killed every living thing in them."

John's expression reflected the horror he felt.

"I have done things which you will never know," I smiled wanly. "I obey. That's what I do."

"I will save my son," John clenched his fists.

"If you can't?" I asked him.

His face hardened. "I can't kill my own child. I'll give up my life and my soul first," he swore.

Missouri stood, "John, it would be best to leave that to her. She's not going to give up on Sam without a fight."

"I know that Missouri. But she's not going to have to have to do that," John ground out. He walked in the direction of the door.

"John?" Missouri called. "Where are you going?"

"I haven't got time to waste Missouri. I've got to save my family. I won't let my child die," John said as he walked through the door and slammed it shut.

"Kelsey!" Missouri pleaded.

"There's nothing to be done Missouri. John wanted the truth and I told him," I sat on the window ledge.

"You didn't tell him everything," Missouri said.

"John Winchester has enough on his plate," I stared through the window.

"That demon killed Jessica, why?" Missouri demanded.

"She got in the way," I answered.

"I don't understand," Missouri's confusion echoed in her voice.

"Jessica made Sam happy. In order for the influence to work, then he has to be vulnerable," I explained.

"So," Missouri said. "A happy Sam would mean that he would be immune?"

"No," I shook my head. "But Sam surrounded by love and family would fight the influence and win."

"Family's not that strong," Missouri observed.  
I smiled at her, "Oh I don't know about that. There was a serious miscalculation with Sam."  
"What do you mean?" Missouri returned to her chair.

I remained silent. She thought for a few minutes.

"John raised them the same way," Missouri whispered. "Sam actually loves his father and brother."

"It's much deeper than that," I knelt next to her.

"You did something," Missouri stared at me as her eyes widened in astonishment. "You did something to Sam when he was a baby. Something that gave him a fighting chance."

I nodded in agreement. "Yes, Missouri, I did something."

"Well John has to know," Missouri's face became elated.

"No," I shook my head. I placed my hand on her face. "I'm so sorry that I have to do this Missouri."

"No," Missouri shook her head. "You can't."

"John needed to know. But that knowledge is not yours to keep," I smiled at her.

"I'll remember it," she vowed.

"No," I told her. "You won't."

I gripped the sides of her head and became light. I enveloped her in my essence and purged her memory completely. She lost consciousness and I created an amended conversation among us. I had to protect her. It was bad enough that the others would now go after John, but he was looking for the demon anyway, so there was no harm in him having the knowledge.

I gathered her in my arms and put her to bed. She would wake in the morning and only recall what I wanted her to recall. I left the house and walked away from Lawrence. I thought of the different occasions when I felt that I should have done the same with the Winchesters. However, it was perhaps fortunate that I had not. Since I was aware of the plan and the fact that the others were closer than ever to completion I needed to get John focused on the task at hand. I needed to know definitively if Daniel Elkins had the gun Samuel Colt made. I needed to destroy that weapon once and for all.

I made my way slowly across the State when I heard John's voice. I looked around but he wasn't there. I frowned and followed where he was. I came to an empty warehouse and wondered what John was doing there when I smelled sulfur. I rolled my eyes, they were moving faster than I had anticipated. John was fending off a group of possessed. I had to intervene. I didn't need anyone killing him at this juncture. I sensed the bullet before it came through the air. I ensured that I was not in its path. The others scattered as they realized that their hosts were not going to be appropriate shields.

John spun around, as he attempted to see who saved him.

"Hello!" John called.

"Hello," a young man came out of the shadows. He grinned at John for a moment.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" John asked.

"It's just awesome to be in the same place as John Winchester," the young man returned.

John frowned for a moment, "Well it seems you have me at a distinct disadvantage son."

"I'm Gordon Walker," he told John.

"Well, Gordon. I thank you for what you did," John nodded.

"That took stones," Gordon continued. "Taking on those possessed like that."

John chuckled uncomfortably, "I wish I could take credit. But they jumped me."

"Why?" Gordon asked.

John's shoulders went rigid. "It's a personal fight."  
"I can understand that," Gordon nodded. "You probably don't want help. But we could have a drink."

"Perhaps some other time Gordon," John patted him on the shoulder. "I need to get going."  
"Well," Gordon observed. "If you weren't close to getting rid of their asses they wouldn't be trying to take you out."

John looked at him carefully. "You have a good point there, son."

"It's always good to stand in the presence of a legend sir," Gordon said.

"I don't know about that," John shook his head.  
"Are you kidding me?" Gordon exclaimed. "They say that your sons Sam and Dean are pretty good too."

"Sam and Dean?" John's eyebrow perked up.

"Well," Gordon shrugged. "You trained them well."  
"Thank you," John smiled at him. "We'll have that drink should we meet again."

"No problem sir," Gordon grinned.

John straightened his stance and walked away from Gordon Walker. I stayed behind and studied him for a moment. He was handsome as humans go but there was something that he had in him that I had only previously sensed in much older hunters. There was a darkness that was kept under control by his sense of purpose. This Gordon Walker was a skilled hunter and he was so narrow in his thinking that he would be perfect if it were ever revealed the truth of the children like Sam. I stopped in my thoughts. No one would tell them, but then I knew that the Spawn only needed one child to complete his purpose. The fact that he had cast such a wide net meant that he was testing to see who was the strongest.

For it was only the strongest who would be able to cross the threshold. Especially since once the chosen had surrendered to the evil, it would require strength to bypass all the measures. I shook my head. It was my brilliant plan and my brilliance was certainly leading to a great deal of trouble.

I waited until Gordon left to examine the scene. It had been a very clever ambush. John Winchester would put a considerable hurdle in the path of the Spawn. I then began to fear for Dean. Dean's devotion to his brother was intense. Dean was willing to do anything and everything for Sam. I always knew this in spite of the arguments that would occur between them as siblings. It was the nature of children to argue with the ones they love the most.

If Jessica was killed to keep Sam on the path to the Spawn's purpose, then what danger lay ahead for Dean? I sat on the ground and contemplated all these things and again wondered if it was simply not easier to… I stopped my thoughts. I was not going to complete that thought. Those thoughts wouldn't solve the problem. The Spawn would simply start over. The baby I purged was evidence of that.

I stood and surveyed the warehouse for the last time. I had to move quickly and work on locating Daniel Elkins. He was the key or very likely he knew where the gun was. I clasped my hands and moved silently from the building.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I will admit that I was earnest in my search when I felt a strong tug on my senses. I frowned because it was Dean, but something was very wrong. I traveled to where he was and appeared in a hospital room. He was asleep and looked very near to death. I leaned over him and his eyes flew open.

"Kelsey," he whispered.

"What happened to you?" I demanded.

Dean chuckled and coughed immediately. "Well, you see, I tried to fry this hag and I did, but I got fried in the process."

"That's not funny Dean," I admonished.

"I don't suppose you can fix this?" he asked.

I stared at him for a moment. "No, I can't. It falls under natural causes."

"Yeah, 'cause it's natural for stupidity to get someone killed," Dean said wryly.

"You my darling child haven't changed," I shook my head.

"You haven't seen my dad have you?" Dean asked.

"No," I told him. "The last time I saw him he was a bit upset with me."

"He called us and sent us on a job," Dean told me.

"When?" I was curious.

"A few weeks ago," Dean said. "It was a scarecrow that was causing the problems."  
" A scarecrow?" I sat on the bed next to him.

"Yep. It was some pagan god of the harvest. I forget what it was called," Dean's eyes fluttered shut.

"You should rest," I said.

"I should go find Sammy," Dean attempted to sit forward.

"No," I pushed him back down.

"Kelsey," Dean shot me a pleading look. "I can't die here. The nurses aren't even cute."

"I can't stay with you," I told him.

"Just get me to Sam," Dean said.

I agreed. So, I helped him get dressed and Dean checked himself out of the hospital against medical advice. I procured a car and drove him to the motel where Sam stayed. I got Dean to the door and when I heard Sam open it, I left.

I wondered where John was at that moment. His son was dying and he should be there. I walked away from the building and went in search of John. He was some distance from them. It took me a few days to track John. Leave it to that particular human to try and disguise his presence from me. He was far too intelligent for his own good at times.

I entered the bar that was the type favored by hunters. I ignored the stares that I drew as I closed in on the position of John seated at a table. I stopped as I saw that he had Caleb with him. I shook my head and aged my face accordingly. Caleb glanced up as I approached. He smiled at me.

"Wow," he said. "It's been a few years."

John turned and stared at me in shock. I silently dared him to make a comment. John remained quiet.

"I see you're still with him," Caleb continued, although his eyes reflected his apprehension.

"John," I said sweetly. "Have you heard from your sons?"

"Dean will be fine," John nodded.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ahem," Caleb attempted to forestall what he suspected was going to be a colossal fight between a couple. "I spoke to Sam. I gave him the name of a faith healer. Roy Le Grange, he's worked miracles."

"John," I leaned close to him. "This is Dean. Your son needs you. _**Both**_ your sons _**need**_ you."

John stared at me for a moment. "Dean will be fine," he repeated.

At this point I was ready to throw him through the wall. I stormed out of the bar.

I walked to the entrance of the parking lot.

"Kelsey!" John's voice called.

I spun to him. "What?" I accused, "Caleb tell you it's not a good idea to piss a woman off?"

John stopped in his tracks, "Maybe you should calm down."

"Calm down!" my voice went up a notch in volume. "I tell you that your son. The son who has done every damn thing you've ever asked him to, is dying and you're not making a move to try and see him?"

"Dean will be…" John said.

"Fine!" I huffed. "I know. I heard you."

"Then believe me," John said.

"Believe you?" I scoffed. "John, I thought you were a lot of things but a self – centered bastard was not one of them."

He crossed the distance between us and grabbed my arm. I shrugged him off easily.

"That's not a fair accusation Kelsey," John said.

"Fair!" I was stunned. "What the hell does fair have to do with anything? It doesn't matter if Dean is going to be fine or not. Your son is close to death and you, as his father, don't give a damn to pick up the phone and check in with him!"

John stared at me unblinking.

"What?" I threw my hands in the air. "What can be so hard as to talk to them?"

"I already did," John said.

"Yes," I huffed. "I know. You sent them on a job after a scarecrow type deal that turned out to be a pagan god."

John's eyebrow went up at that.

"What?" I asked. "You didn't know? How shocking?"

"How did you know?" he asked.

"As soon as I sensed that Dean was close to death I dropped everything to find him," I stated flatly. "Perhaps he'll be comforted to know that the non – human cares for him more than his own father."

"That's below the belt Kelsey," John winced.

"You know John," I warned. "You need to take a good look at your actions. There's only so much heartbreak a son can take."

John's head snapped up at that. "What?"

"I told you once that you'll end up without either of your sons, John," I reminded him. "It looks like you're well on your way." I walked away from him and ignored his pleas for me to return.

Caleb had mentioned a healer named Roy Le Grange. That name struck a cord in my memory. I had heard whispers about that healer. I wracked my brain until I remembered what I had heard. I quickly crossed the distance to find them. I was stunned to find Dean healthy but a little shaken. He was disturbed and Sam seemed uncomfortable as well. They were making a plan. I decided not to interrupt them but would follow.

They drove to the healer's place. I waited while Sam and Dean carried out their plan. I was disturbed to see a Reaper coming toward me. Then I saw Dean. I was about to interfere when a vice grip held me. I turned and saw that it was another Reaper. I frowned at him.

"You can't interfere," he said.

"What?" I said.

"You see that woman?" he pointed to a woman holding a pendant in her hand.

"What about her?" I was confused.

"She's controlling the other one," he said.

I attempted to shake him off, but was unable to do so. "You're not allowed to do this!" I hissed.

"Wait," he said. "Watch."

I looked at the woman and saw Sam drag the necklace from around her neck and smash it. The Reaper released Dean and found the woman instead. Dean was on his knees gasping for air and the Reaper who had held on to me relinquished his grip.

I quickly ran to where Dean was on his knees. I pulled his face to mine and placed my hand on his chest. He took a deep breath and coughed.

"You're going to be okay," I said.

"Thanks Kelsey," he grinned. "But your timing sucks."

"Yep, you're fine," I shook my head.

I heard Sam's footsteps as he ran from to where we were. He faltered a bit but recovered quickly. I stood and found myself enveloped in a huge hug.

"You've certainly got stronger," I murmured.

"Your timing could have been better," Sam released me and placed his arm under Dean.

"Dude!" Dean cried. "I'm okay. Get off me."

"You just won't let anyone help you will you?" Sam complained.

"He's a horrible patient," I explained.

"Thanks," Dean rubbed his chest. "Just what did you do?"

"Nothing," I smiled.

"Um," Dean looked at me seriously, "There's this girl. Layla, she…"

"I can't stop anyone from dying Dean," I told him.

"Yeah, I suppose not," Dean sighed.

We walked away from the site. I stayed with them to make certain that they were going to be all right. Thankfully neither of them asked if I had been in contact with their father.

There was a knock on the door and Sam glanced over at me and started as he realized that I wasn't visible. He opened the door and there was a young woman standing there. Dean looked at her and I realized she must be Layla. I left the room with Sam and tugged on his shirt. Sam spun and seemed relieved.

"You do that don't you?" he said.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Vanish at will," Sam remarked.

"Uh – huh," I nodded.

The door swung open and the young woman left. I turned to go back into the room and Sam stopped me.

"Let's give him some time Kelsey," Sam said. "Come on, we can get some coffee."

I made a face.

"What?" Sam chuckled.

"Coffee?" I shook my head.

"What's wrong with coffee?" Sam demanded.

"She thinks it's poison," Dean answered.

We hadn't heard him come through the door. A part of me smiled to realize that he could that so easily. We spun to face him.

Dean placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Let's get outta here."

Sam nodded. I smiled at them both and left them at their car. I hated to admit it but John was right. His sons were going to be just fine.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I wish I could tell you that the boys had an easy time of it since that moment and that John had finally relented and called his sons, but by now you must have realized that doing things the easy way is not the Winchester way. They are a hardheaded bunch of men. But then men in general can be difficult. If they were easier then I wouldn't be in the bind I was in.

I must confess that the use of trickery is perhaps a bit below me, however, when one is bound by certain rules there is often no other option except trickery. Free Will is a real bitch at times for it is the greatest obstacle that lands in the path of any who have to accomplish tasks.

Therefore I was again employed in using my trickery when an odd thing happened. I came across a little article about suspicious deaths. It was an entire family that was killed except the step – mother. The father committed suicide. The uncle died in a freak accident and the son also committed suicide. The journalist interviewed the step – mother who cried about how she had lost everything. The article also mentioned that the family had suffered a tragedy early in the life of the young man. His mother died in a fire in his nursery. I raised an eyebrow at that. This was a child like Sam.

I heard a strange ringing noise. I looked down and felt my pocket. It was a cell phone. I frowned at it. I wondered where it came from.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I figured you wouldn't have found it before now," Sam's voice came over the phone.

"Sam?" I was puzzled.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Dean and I slipped you a phone while you weren't looking."

"And to think I cooked for you at one time," I bemoaned.

Sam laughed at me. "Listen, we had a strange run in."  
"You were with that Max boy?" I asked.

"How did you know?" Sam asked.

"I read the papers too," I said.

I heard Dean's voice in the background.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He asked if the papers were still intact," Sam said.

I heard a slight tussle in the background then Dean's voice came over the line. "Kelsey, I'm going to be short of a brother soon."

I laughed at that, "You'd never do anything to your brother."

"I just might change my mind after that last stunt. Hey where are you?" Dean asked suddenly.

"I have no real clue." I replied then I heard Sam's voice say something in the background.

"I can't keep up with the two of you," I muttered.

"No, it's okay. Just stay where you are. We're on our way," Dean said.

"Huh?" I was puzzled.

"Modern technology Kelsey, it's just modern technology," Dean told me.

I could make no reply for the call ended.

I decided to wait for them. I was surprised when they found me about an hour later. Both walked into the diner and grinned at me. Sam and Dean slid into the booth.

"So," Dean took up a menu. "What looks good here?"

"Everything, knowing you," Sam teased.

"Hey," Dean looked at him. "I just saved your ass. You owe me."  
"Like Hell you did," Sam disagreed.

"Boys!" I put an end to the bickering.

"You know," Sam looked at me. "You surprised me when you showed up the other day."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You told Dad about Jess didn't you?" Sam surmised.

"Well," I wrinkled my nose. "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?" Dean poked his head up from behind the menu.

"It means that she told someone who told Dad," Sam translated.

"I got that part," Dean retorted. "I meant who did she tell."

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"Bobby and Dad aren't speaking," Dean told me.

"I know," I said.

Sam frowned. "You know?"  
"Yep," I nodded.

"You're looking for Dad as well?" Dean sat up straighter.

"Something like that," I said.

"Have you seen him?" Sam asked. "Is he all right?"  
"You mean did I leave him alive?" I asked.

Dean raised an eyebrow at that question. "Kelsey?"  
"I'm not going into the last fight I had with your father," I murmured.

Sam sighed. "But he's okay?"

"As far as I know," I answered. "But he's hunting that damn thing."  
"It's a demon," they said in unison.

"I know," I replied.

"You know?" Dean appeared stunned.

"Dude, don't forget what you're talking to," Sam rebuked.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry Kelsey," Sam grinned. "But you know what I mean."

"Uh – huh," I nodded slowly. "You're in a good mood."  
Sam chuckled and Dean shot him a hard stare.

"What have the two of you been up to?" I asked.

"Sammy here got himself kidnapped," Dean told me.

"What?" I sat up straighter in my seat.

"It's okay," Sam shook his head. "Turns out it was a couple of whacked out yahoos."

"Somehow I doubt that statement qualified as English," I said quietly.

Both of them stared at me for a moment and then erupted in laughter. I waited for them to finish.

"No," Sam recovered first. "There were these guys. A family actually, who…well…they hunted people. They would grab someone from a parking lot and take him back to their place. You can guess the rest."

"People are just plain crazy," Dean's voice reflected his disgust.

"People have always been crazy," I replied.

Dean's head snapped up. "You had another fight with Dad, worse than the last one?"

"She didn't fight with Dad, lately," Sam said.

"I think she has," Dean argued.

"You're doing it again," I reminded them.

"What?" Sam's words died as he stared at my face. "Sorry Kelsey, we really shouldn't talk about you as though you're not here."

"Leave it for when I'm not," I smiled.

"Do you think that we discuss you behind your back?" Dean asked.

"Don't you?" I grinned.

"No," Dean shook his head. "Since we have no idea when you're around or not…"

"That's very unlike you Dean Winchester," I admonished.

Sam laughed. "I miss this," he said quietly.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "Me too."

"Wonderful," I sighed.

"So what did you two fight about?" Sam picked up Dean's question.

"The two of you. What else?" I answered.

"You have fights about us?" Sam's eyes widened.

"Like you didn't know that," Dean poked him.

"Hey," Sam cried. "I'm not the one who got taken down by a twelve year old girl."

"Twelve year old girl?" I scoffed. "Oh Dean, it must be a sign of old age."

"Very funny," Dean returned wryly.

"So, how did you two find me?" I asked.

"G.P.S. tracking," Sam answered.

"What?" I was confused.

"You know," Sam sat forward. "Wait a minute. You don't know?"

"Sam," Dean said quietly. "How could she know something that she has no real use for?"  
"Yeah, but she knows so many things," Sam argued.

"It's not the same," Dean said.

"Ahem," I said loudly.

"Sorry," they said.

"It's a chip in the phone. It can be activated to give us your location," Dean explained.

"I see," I nodded. "So why don't you do that with your dad?"

"Don't think we haven't tried that one. But the best I can figure is that he's not got the phone with him," Sam shrugged.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"When he called us that time. He was using a pay phone in California," Sam told me.

"I thought you were studying Pre – Law?" I teased.

"Yeah," Sam lowered his gaze. "A guy's got to have a hobby."  
"Or old habits die hard," I suggested.

Sam chuckled and Dean received his coffee. I stared at it with disgust. Dean laughed at my expression.

"Um," Sam began. "So tell me. Where did this dislike of coffee come from?"  
"When she was human," Dean answered.

"Human?" Sam turned to his brother. "You didn't tell me she was human?"  
"I didn't," Dean glanced up at the ceiling. "I thought I had. Yep, for a time she was human. Even had a belly button and all."  
I grimaced at the memory.

"What?" Sam sat back in his seat and laughed. "How did that happen?"  
"I saved your brother's life," I told him.

"You knocked me unconscious," Dean retorted.

"Well, I didn't exactly knock you unconscious," I defended.

"You put your mouth over mine and sucked the breath out of my lungs," Dean posited.

"She what?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure I told you when I visited you at Stanford," I said.

"No," Sam shook his head. "You told me about braining Dad with a heavy book."

Dean laughed. "That was so classic. He claimed that he saw stars."

Sam grinned at me. "You were human?"

"For a short period of time," I shrugged.

"And hell to keep under control," Dean snorted.

"Not that it stopped your father from trying," I reminded him.

"Yeah," Dean smirked. "It was pretty rough on him."

I frowned, "My being human?"

"Yep," Dean shot me a look. "You had us worried Kelsey. Especially when you passed out. You slept like you were dead you know."

Sam looked at him, "You thought she was dead?"

"At first," Dean said.

"No one told me this," I pointed out.

Dean wore an odd expression on his face. "Kelsey, don't you know what you mean to us?"

I was taken aback by the emotion in his voice.

"You've always been there Kelsey," Sam lowered his voice. "I can't remember when I haven't needed you and you've not been there."

"I wasn't there for Jessica," I said.

"Yes, you were," Sam disagreed. "I could tell you were there even though I couldn't understand why you wouldn't see me."

"Sam?" I grasped his hand.

"I finally figured out that you couldn't save her. And you couldn't face me," Sam's eyes met mine. The thunder echoed outside the diner.

"Aw crap Sam," Dean said. "You can't make her cry. It'll rain."

My head snapped in Dean's direction. "How do you know that?"

"Some guy named Micah said it," Dean answered.

I sat perfectly still. "You've seen Micah?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "He ran into us and said that he was looking for you."

I squeezed Sam's hand gently. "Don't worry about Micah. I'll have some words with him."

Dean stared at me for a moment, "Kelsey?"

"Don't worry about it," I assured him. "Where you headed now?"  
"Chicago," Sam said. "We see a suspicious death that looks like it's up our alley. I have an idea about how to get in."

"Not costumes again?" Dean groaned. "Come on those suits were horrible."

Sam glared at Dean and I was still laughing at them as I told them goodbye.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

My laughter didn't last very long. I walked to the nearest cemetery and waited for Micah to turn up. I stayed for a few minutes and then I sensed his arrival. I kept my arms folded and allowed him to speak.

"I take it that the Winchester boys told you I ran into them," Micah said as he sat beside me.

"Now, why would you run into them?" I asked quietly.

"We couldn't locate you Denri," Micah told me.

"Tracking me is not something that you're supposed to do," I reminded him.

"Still," Micah said, "you must admit that it is necessary at times."

"I told you. I don't follow your orders," my voice became sharp.

"I'm just a messenger," Micah pleaded.

"Well," I smiled. "You remember what happens to messengers."

Micah stared at me for a moment. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" I said. "You are not permitted to know what I am about. None of you are."

"This is about rank isn't it?" Micah prodded.

"Won't work," I told him. "But Micah, don't tell the humans anything that they don't need to know."

"You have a close bond with them," Micah said.

"They don't know what I am," I replied.

"There are times when I don't know either," Micah muttered.

"Perhaps you should rest Micah," I suggested.

Micah moved quickly and placed a great distance between us.

"It's not right for an angel to feel fear Micah," I said.

"When it comes to you, fear is a reasonable response," Micah remained where he was.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"It means that you're stronger Denri. Much stronger than I can ever recall," Micah explained.

I studied him for a moment. He had mentioned that they had difficulty tracking me. I frowned for a moment. Something else was happening. My eyes widened as a thought occurred to me and it was one that I didn't want to be true.

"What's wrong?" I demanded.

"There are more possessions and deaths associated with it," Micah explained.

"More possessions?" I hadn't heard of any.

"They're planning something huge," Micah said.

"They're always planning something," I snapped.

"Don't get that way with me," Micah said. "I'm ordered to bring you back."

"By who?" I was puzzled.

"The orders came with this," Micah held up a scroll.

I crossed the distance far more quickly than he hoped and snatched it out of his hand. It bore the Imprint Seal. I broke the seal and read the scroll. I frowned at its contents for it was not good. I looked up at Micah. He wore a puzzled expression for to him the scroll was blank. I held out my hand for him to take.

"You have to hold my hand remember?" I said gently. "I'm not allowed to travel by myself."

He nodded and grasped my hand. We became light and I returned home.

I am not permitted to reveal to you what home is like. Even if I were to attempt to describe it, all you would see would be a blank page. Suffice it to say, I returned to the surface and armed with my instructions I sought John Winchester. But something happened that caused me to stop my search. I heard my name being called and it was not any of the Winchesters.

I entered the remains of the cabin. The roof had been broken in and there he was barely breathing on the floor. I stood over him and was surprised to see him.

"You called," I said.

His breath was ragged and his voice hoarse. "I was an ass."

"You'll get no argument from me," I knelt beside him and looked at his injuries. I recognized the gashes. "Well, it seems that you were done in by the things you hunted."

"I could have used your help," he struggled for breath.

"You threatened to kill me the last time we spoke," I reminded him.

"I was an ass," he repeated.

I cradled his head in my arms as he continued to struggle for breath. "I can't heal you Daniel," I whispered.

"I know," he said. "I told you not to help me."

"Why did you call me Daniel?" I asked.  
"I'm sorry that I didn't trust you," he said. "Find John Winchester."

I sat perfectly still as he died. I watched as his soul was taken and I stayed where I was. Daniel wanted John. I marveled at the fact that everyone apparently wanted John Winchester.

I made an anonymous call for his body had to be collected by the authorities. His death would be reported and that would lure John to investigate Daniel's death.

I checked Daniel's cabin and realized that the contents of the safe was missing. I frowned as I wondered if Daniel had actually found the colt. If it was taken from him, I had very little hope of retrieving the weapon and destroying it. I needed to destroy that gun. I surveyed the area one last time and said my final farewell to Daniel Elkins. I walked out into the night and took up my station in a tree.

I was rewarded a few days later but not by John Winchester. It was Sam and Dean. I was puzzled as to why John would have sent them there. But I sensed that John was also nearby. I appeared behind him.

"Well," I said. "It took you long enough."

"Kelsey," John hissed.

"Yes," I narrowed my stare.

"I don't have time to fight with you," John said.  
"Then why did you send Sam and Dean in there?" I asked.

"I didn't," John told me.

I arched an eyebrow. "What?"  
"I haven't seen them since Chicago," John replied.

"You were with them in Chicago?" I was stunned.

I studied him closely and saw the evidence of healed scars. "What happened to you?"

"Why weren't you there?" John demanded.

"I'm busy," I snapped. "I can't be expected to baby – sit hunters who are putting themselves in harm's way."

"You used to," John grated.

"Well, that was before they grew up and could take care of themselves," I waved my hand in the direction of the cabin.

John held up his hand for me to be silent. I stuck my tongue at his turned head. We watched as Sam and Dean carefully left Daniel's cabin.

"You trained them well," I commented.

"You shouldn't stick your tongue out at me," John said.

"What?" I took a half – step back.

"Come on Kelsey," John groaned. "You are the…"

"Finish it," I dared him.

"Never mind," John shook his head. "Look, we almost got killed in Chicago. There were Daevas after us."

My eyes widened in shock. I had been told that they had been broken out of their prison.

"You know Shadow demons," John explained.

"I know what they are John," I said.

"Well," John continued. "Turned out that this girl was controlling them. She took a header out a window, so there's no harm done."

"A girl?" I asked.

"Yes," John nodded. "I figured she was in league the demon. The boys agree."

"I see," I nodded.

"What?" John demanded.

"Perhaps you should kill Sam now John," I said.

John grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "What?"  
I stared at him for a moment. "Would you prefer me to do it?"  
"I'm saving my son," John spat.

"So you keep saying. But if he succumbs and his soul is lost the only place he's going John is Hell," I told him.

"You can't know that," John shook his head.

"John," I pleaded.

"I'm not killing my son," he said. "I don't care what it takes, Kelsey. I'm not killing my boy." John started to walk away from me.

"Even if it means that the demon has an evil purpose in mind for him?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" John turned to me.

I took a deep breath. "The demon only needs one child John. I've told you that."

"That means that Sammy can be saved," John insisted.

"Not really," I said. "It means that only the strongest will survive."

John stared at me uncomprehending. Then I saw his expression change as it finally dawned on him.

"Only the strongest?" John whispered.

I nodded.

"That means," John rubbed his hands over his face. "No."

"John," I stepped towards him.

"No!" John denied.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"There has to be another way, Kelsey," John said.

"It would be a mercy to do it now," I told him.

"No!" John shook his head. "You can't mean that. You don't mean that. I don't care what you say, you love him as much as I do."

I closed my eyes for a second and turned away from him.

"Kelsey?" John called.

"Go to your sons John," I told him.

"Kelsey?" John repeated.

"Go John," I said. "Just go."

I sensed when he left. I looked up at the sky and contemplated what he had said to me. Had I allowed myself to get too close to them? Would that stop me from doing what was necessary? It was true that nowhere in my instructions it said that I had to kill Sam Winchester. But if it came down to it, could I? Could I make that choice? It was much easier to follow an order than it was to make a choice even I knew this. I walked slowly away from the cabin for I needed time to think. It always came back to the question of choice. Then I thought of something else. The shadow demons were loose. I knew enough of their kind to understand that they actually only obeyed one being. That girl wasn't human she had to be possessed, which meant that she wasn't going to be very happy at being thrown out a window.

I frowned as I continued walking. I thought back to my actual instructions and I avidly disliked them, but I was to obey. I sighed, as I knew that John would never kill his son and that he would fight the idea of killing him. John was stubborn enough to pursue every avenue and then some to save his son.

I told you that I had no other option available to me except trickery. Had either John or Missouri been thinking straight and seen past their emotions they would have asked the most important question. Why, if I knew what purpose was intended for Sam didn't I simply kill him? No one would have known and it would have been very easy to arrange. But I remembered Missouri's words about humans and the way that they think. I'm certain that it didn't occur to John that I had had ample opportunity to kill his son and yet I hadn't. Or perhaps he believed that I was operating under the same emotional influences as he was.

Yet that was not the case. In truth, I needed John to be prepared for the fact that Sam's life was in considerable danger. I also needed John to fight for his son's life and soul. That was the only way that Sam was going to survive. Sam would have to make the choice. He would have to choose for himself which path he would take. I prayed that he made the right choices. It was not Sam's life that concerned me as much as his soul did. His was a soul that had been poisoned and in all of that my thoughts ran on Dean. His soul was tarnished as well, but other things than a demon's corruption caused the stain. In the end, I was fighting a different battle than their father. I prayed at that moment that we would both win.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

I continued walking until I found the Impala of all things. I stopped and sat on the hood. It brought back good memories. The door to the room opened and John's head popped out of the door. He closed the door behind him and walked over to me.

"I figured you'd turn up," John said.

"Are we going to fight again?" I asked.

"I hope not," John chuckled wryly.

"It's a battle that's going to take everything John," I said.

"I know," he nodded. "But you can't ask me to bury my children."  
"So, I have to bury all of you instead?" I asked.

"Well," John shrugged. "That's pretty much a given. Don't you think?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

John smiled at me.

"It doesn't work on me, you know," I told him.

"What?" John appeared puzzled.

"The Winchester smile," I answered.

"Both Sam and Dean have it," John observed.  
"Oh yes," I readily agreed.

"We've shared some things, haven't we?" John asked.

"Yes," I waited for him to continue.

"We," John stared at his reflection. "Did the best we could."  
"You did the best you could," I corrected.

"You had a hand in this," John reminded.

"Sure," I said. "Blame it all on the non – human."

John laughed. "You know Dean's amused at the vampires."  
"Dean would find vampires amusing," I commented.

"He's a good man," John said.

"You need to tell him," I told him. "Sooner rather than later, John."

"Why is that?" John asked.

"Because if you intend to commit suicide, and you seem so anxious to do it, then your sons shouldn't have to mourn you wondering if you loved them," I said.

"That's pretty harsh Kelsey," John admonished.

"I'm only telling the truth," I shrugged.

John stared at the ground for a moment, "It's hard, Kelsey," he said.

"It's not supposed to be easy," I tried to soften my voice.

"What you're claiming about having to kill Sammy," John's voice died.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "You have to be prepared for all possibilities, John."

He stood and walked to the door. He turned back to me and stared at me with tear filled eyes.

"I don't suppose you're going to come in?" he asked.

"This is between you and your sons, John," I told him. "I'll be there if you need me."  
John nodded and returned to the room. I will admit that I was curious and looked inside the room without John's knowledge. I saw both Sam and Dean fast asleep on the beds in the room, while John sat at the table. He watched his sons sleep and I realized that he must have done this quite often when they were younger. It was in this moment that John showed how much he loved his children.

I walked away from them vowing that they needed to do this on their own. They weren't in any danger of the demon finding them right now and I had to find the truth. But I was instructed to do something and therefore I had to go complete my task. I wasn't looking forward to it.

I returned to Daniel's cabin. I searched through his books and found that his journal was missing. I sighed, and then realized that either Sam or Dean might have taken it. I saw a book lying face down on the floor. I picked it up for it looked familiar. I was startled to see that it was a very old journal. I wondered where Daniel could have found it. I had supposed it lost long ago. I turned the yellowed pages gingerly and stared at the familiar scrawl. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought back to the time this journal had been written.

I must warn you, that it wasn't a very pleasant memory. The pages of the journal were written about the time Samuel Colt decided that the gun shouldn't be found by me. I was very angry with him and perhaps should have exercised more patience, but he was like John Winchester, hard – headed and stubborn. I was at a loss to choose who was more difficult. I had instructed him in the making of the gun. I had instructed him to build something for me and when I had come to claim what was mine, in fact, what I had paid him to make, I was denied. Samuel never quite recovered from that night.

_1876._

_It was some time ago but I can't quite explain it. But I had never known a woman to be that angry. She wasn't a woman though, not really. She looked like one, even smelled like one. But it was all a lie. She got me to make that gun. She knew things that no woman had any business knowing, but I can only plead to having a man's weakness. She was too pretty, that one. With her chaste ways and clear eyes. I should have known that something was very wrong._

_Those symbols that she drew to be carved into the gun and the bullets. If it weren't for that hunter, I'd have not realized that it was a gun to kill strange things. He begged me for the gun. He wanted to try it out. Now, I couldn't very well tell anyone that I was making this weapon for a woman. They'd wonder what she wanted with it. Thinking back, there's something else that happened with us. But I can't quite remember it. She was interested in the frontier churches that I built. She was very particular about those churches. The way that they had to be made of pure iron and the pattern of the rail lines, that was just plain crazy. But I did all that she wanted. I did everything she asked me to._

_Well not everything, I suppose that I shouldn't have given that hunter the gun. She's going after him now. She was terrible in her fury. I need to forget this. I'm a gunsmith. It's what I do. But I hope that I never cross paths with that likes of that woman again. She was far too dangerous. I don't even know what she was._

_Samuel Colt._

_P.S. They say that the hunter has disappeared. They last saw him fighting with a strange man. I received a package yesterday by the mule post. It was the gun. The instruction was to hide it. So I did. She'd wanted it destroyed. Perhaps I should have done what she asked, but there are terrible things out there. And there are people who need to fight them. That gun can kill anything that's evil. Someday, she'll forgive me for what I did._

I stared at the words in shock. The gun had been returned to him. He couldn't remember what I had done with him. That part at least was good, but I feared that Samuel Colt left other clues behind. I stopped and closed my eyes, of course. He must have left the clues, which was how the Spawn knew to search. They didn't start attacking psychic children until they'd come across this knowledge.

It wasn't so much that the gun existed, but they had to have known that it was the key. Which meant that they had tried sending a possessed person through the barrier and failed. I again kicked myself for my brilliant plan. I had overlooked one key element and that was I had decided not to kill the maker of the gun. Although in my defense, I must say that the thought hadn't occurred to me.

So, if Daniel had found this journal and followed the clues, then presumably he had found the gun and that meant that John would have the gun and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I was so furious that I screamed and destroyed the remainder of the cabin. I stood in the middle of the rubble and stared at what I had done. I had to obey. I was supposed to obey. I was told to obey and therefore I was going to obey. I didn't like it but I had my instructions. I folded my arms and glared at the night.

I walked away from the ruins of the cabin and made the journey to Pastor Jim's church. I was supposed to wait there and not interfere. I took up my station outside of his church. I was obedient and I didn't tell him that I was present. I simply watched and waited.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 

It was a few days later that I observed something very strange in Pastor Jim's church. A pretty young woman entered it. I frowned for I knew she was possessed. I saw her enter the church and I did as instructed, which was nothing. I felt when it happened but could still do nothing. She left the church a few minutes later and I entered the building. I found him lying on the floor in a pool of blood. He was already gone. I knelt next to his body. He hadn't stood a chance against that one.

"Why?" I asked.

"It must unfold," Michael answered.

I stared up at him. "It's not right to do this."

"We each have our instructions and we are told not to interfere," he answered.

"This was a man who was good," I argued. "He fought the battle the way that we expect them to and this is his reward? To die at the hands of a possessed?"

"Life is fleeting," Michael stated.

"This is not right," I repeated.

"It is what must be," he knelt next to me and handed me the phone that was still in my pocket. "Call John and tell him about Pastor Jim."

"Why?" I asked.

"He must know," Michael said.

"John's number isn't in there," I said.

Michael pressed a button and scrolled down the address book. I was stunned for I had no idea that Michael was proficient with human technology.

"Michael?" I asked.

"Yes," he turned his head sideways.

"When did you? How did you? Why did you?" I stopped.

"There are times when we must investigate these things," Michael shrugged.

"Now, you're just showing off," I retorted.

Michael pressed the button and handed the phone to me, "Tell him."

I listened to the ringing sound on the other end.

"Yes," John answered.

"It's Kelsey," I said.

"You're using a cell phone?" John asked.

"Blame Sam," I said.

"What happened?" his voice changed. "I'm last person you would call."  
"It's Pastor Jim," I said.

"What about him?" John demanded.  
"I'm sorry, John," I whispered.

"How?" John shouted.

I closed my eyes. "It looks like a demon did it."

The line went dead. I heard footsteps running into the basement, I frowned at Michael. "Stay," he said.

I was puzzled but I stayed.

The doors flew open and Bobby stood there in horror.

"Kelsey!" he exclaimed.

"I didn't do this," I said.

"No one said you did darling," Bobby frowned at me.

"I found him like this," I said. "I was outside and I saw a woman and then she came out and then I wasn't paying attention."

"It's all right Kelsey," Bobby pulled me to my feet. "It's not easy these things."

I nodded. He was treating me as though I were human and for now that was perfectly fine.

"I'll call John," he said.

"I already did," I told him.

Bobby stared at me for a second and then grabbed the phone out of my hand. He dialed then the number and spoke to John. Their conversation was along the same lines as mine had been. They were stunned and shocked by Jim's death. I was more disturbed than they were.

I waited for Bobby to finish his examination of the scene and then he tugged on my arm, so I followed him out of the church. He stopped by his truck and placed his hands on the hood. He blinked furiously several times while I remained silent.

"You're not crying," Bobby said.

"I'm too upset," I replied.

Bobby spun and faced me. "Kelsey, what's going on?"  
"I wish I could tell you," I answered.

"You should tell me," Bobby insisted.  
I stared at him sadly. He leaned against his truck and lolled his head backwards.

"Ah, damn it Kelsey!" he groaned.

I shook my head and sat on the ground.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's war and the Winchesters are in the middle of it," I told him.

Bobby moved from beside the truck and knelt in front of me. He placed his hands over mine.

"Kelsey," he said quietly. "What war?"

"The war that never ended," I whispered.

"How much time do we have?" he demanded.

"Not much time," I told him.

"Damn!" he shook his head. "Are they going to survive this?"

"I don't know," I stared at him.

"Can't you do anything?" Bobby's voice reflected his anger.

"I've done enough," I replied.

Bobby studied me for a moment, "Look, now's not the time to beat yourself up about something."  
"Really?" I scoffed. "You've no idea Bobby. You really don't."

"Tell me," he said.

"I can't," I stood. "I have to go."  
"Where the Hell are you going?" Bobby stood as well.

I wanted to laugh at that moment. He had no idea that he had come so close to the truth. I was to wait until I was called. I had to obey so I simply smiled at Bobby.

"I have to go," I repeated.

"How long will you be gone?" Bobby asked.

"Until, it's time for me to return," I offered.

Bobby frowned at my response. I couldn't blame him for being confused. However, he didn't seem to be that anxious to delay me. I walked away from him and quickly made my way to a cemetery as I figured it was a good place to wait for further instructions.

I cannot pretend that the time passed quickly. Yet I remained obedient, as I was to wait until I was called. That's what I was supposed to do and it was a few days before I sensed the call. It was an odd one that was sounded, which caused me to frown but I made my way to the origin of the call. I stopped suddenly when I arrived at the scene. There was no way that I was going to be present at another accident. I heard Sam's voice screaming his brother's name.

I ran forward and was pulled back. I turned and was face to face with Micah.

"You can't," he said.

"I was called," I explained.

"No," Micah said.

"You don't know my instructions," I frowned.  
"I know that you're not to do anything until you are actually called," he tightened his grip.

I stared at them in the car. The car was completely ruined. It would take a great deal of work to restore it. Yet, I knew he was correct and therefore I didn't fight him. I could sense that both Sam and John were fine. It was Dean I was the most concerned about. Despite everything else it was heartening to hear the emotion in Sam's voice, perhaps he had grown to recognize the importance of his family after all.

There we stood and watched as the emergency crews came into view. They even had a helicopter take them to the nearest hospital. I followed Dean to his room and watched as they put him on life support. Sam was fine. He had minor cuts and bruises but he was the furthest away from the point of impact and the Impala unlike a lot of modern cars actually was made of metal. I hated to think that all three of them being killed by a driver in a semi. I examined Dean's face and his wounds seemed to have been inflicted before the accident. I placed my nose almost directly at his and could smell the trace of sulfur. They had confronted the Spawn and ended up on the wrong end of that event.

I saw Sam enter the room and then glimpsed the shadow of Dean. I was confused for part of his soul seemed to be roaming the corridors of the hospital. Sam was there staring at his brother. When the doctor told him that John was awake. That at least was a good sign I thought. So, I left Dean and walked behind Sam to see John. Sam kept stopping as though he sensed that something else was going on in the hospital.

Sam went in to see his father and it wasn't a good meeting. John Winchester had one son unconscious and the other one badly injured and all he seemed concerned about was getting something. I was distracted for a moment by something else that was going on, then, I saw her. She was a Reaper and I frowned at her.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I'm just visiting," I said.

"I don't like when your kind is here," she continued to show her displeasure.

"I'm not here to interfere," I explained.

"Good because I'm here to take the ones who are to be going on," she said.

"Is Dean Winchester on your list?" I asked.

"Yes," she was surprised. "You said that you weren't going to interfere."

"I'm not," I assured her. "I just wanted to know if he was on your list."

"He's going to be fine," she told me.

"I know," I smiled.

Sam left his father's room and he seemed upset.

"Warriors are always the hardest to go," she observed. "They fight when they should surrender."

"Surrender isn't in their vocabulary," I told her.

"I know," she said. "I just wish it was."

She looked at the time and moved away. I didn't stop her because I knew that she had a schedule to keep. Reapers assigned to hospitals usually did. In fact, all Reapers had to keep to their schedules. It was at this moment that I heard the call.

"Kelsey!" John called.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 

I walked into the room and appeared before him.

"Yes John," I said.

"You're here," he said.

"I'm never that far away," I assured him.

"Kelsey," John sat up in the bed. "It's Dean."

"I can't do anything about that John," I said.

"It was the demon," John insisted. "There's nothing natural about that!"

I sighed for I knew there was no way that I could explain it in a way that John would accept.

"The crash is what has killed him," I explained.

"But the driver was possessed," John said. "Damn it! I was possessed."

My eyes widened at that bit of information. John must have truly become quite the nuisance if they were willing to possess him.

"It was the yellow eyed son of a bitch," John spat. "The same damn thing that killed Mary."

"What?" I feigned surprise.

"It took me over, Kelsey," he said. "You should have warned me."

I raised an eyebrow at that statement, "I told you that you might not be able to save Sam and therefore he may have to be killed."  
"Sam could have ended this," John said. "He could have killed me and the demon with me."  
"It doesn't work like that John," I disagreed.

"What do you mean?" John demanded.

"If Sam had managed to kill you and the demon at the same time," I explained. "He would have destroyed his soul in the process and condemned the both of you to Hell."

"You mean that the demon and I would be in Hell? Or do you mean me and Sammy?" He queried.

"You and Sammy," I replied.

John became silent for a moment. "You can't ask me to kill my own son."

"I'm not telling you to kill your son, John," I said quietly.

John stared at me for a moment. "The purpose is an evil one?"

"It could lead to the end of all life and the rest of the melodrama," I smiled.

John shook his head. "Your sense of humor is far too twisted."  
"Well," I leaned toward him. "Coming from you, that's saying something."

"I love my sons," John stared at the wall behind me. "I love them both so much."  
"And yet," I decided against completing that thought aloud.

John's eyes met mine. "I don't think that I've ever told you, thank you."

"For what?" I was puzzled by his sudden shift in mood.

"For everything," John continued staring at me.

I narrowed my gaze and frowned at him. "John Winchester."

"No, Kelsey," he held up a hand to stem the flow of words that was about to be unleashed from my mouth. "Let me say this."

"Say what? Goodbye? What do you think that you're going to do John?" I had the sinking feeling of dread as I remembered what John had sworn recently.

"Look Kelsey, it's my choice and you can't interfere with it," John said.

"You're not going to sacrifice your soul for Dean?" I was horrified.

"There's no other choice," John said.

"Yes there is," I argued. "Let life go as it should."

"I'm not going to let my son die!" John slammed his hand on the tray in front of him.

"And what happens when Dean discovers what you did?" I asked him. "How is he going to cope with that burden of grief? How is he going to deal with his anger?"

John looked away from me. "He'll cope."

"He'll cope!" my voice went up a notch. "How can you lay there and say that Dean'll cope? Do you care what it'll do to him?"

"Dean's the only person who can save Sammy!" John shouted.

"That's nonsense John!" I cried.

"You know what Sammy and I are like together," John told me.

I thought about the fights and the arguments that had increased in bitterness and acrimony, as Sam grew older.

"Perhaps Dean's death will pull you together," I suggested.

John snorted at the thought. "It would tear us further apart."

"You're so willing to take the easy way out," I observed.

"I'm not taking the easy way out!" John screamed.

The door swung open and a nurse entered. She frowned at John for a moment.

"Is everything all right?" she asked.

"Yes it's fine," John replied.

"You really shouldn't be shouting," she looked around the room with a very puzzled expression on her face. "Who were you shouting at?"

"A pest on the phone," John showed her his cell.

I grinned at him and he narrowed his eyes.

The nurse nodded her head slowly. "Well, don't let that pest bother you."

"Oh believe me," John smiled at the poor woman. "I plan on making certain of that."

She sighed as she left the room. I was torn between laughing at him and swearing at him.

"Honestly Kelsey," John grimaced.

"Poor John," I taunted him.

"You listen to me right now," John became serious.

"I won't," I said.

"You will," John insisted. "Remember that you're bound by my wishes."

"Damn!" I muttered.

"Exactly," he said.

I turned away from him and walked to the door.

"Kelsey?" he said.  
"I won't interfere," I told him. "I don't like this, but you're not going to change your mind and it is your right to choose."

"Yeah, about that," his voice held another note to it.

"What is it John?" I asked.

"You won't tell the boys," John said.

"Those two are a lot smarter than I like," I shook my head.

"What does that mean?" John sat up straighter.

"It means, John," I lowered my voice for emphasis. "That no one will have to tell them. They'll figure it out."

"They can suspect," John shrugged.

"This is a dangerous thing that you're doing John," I warned.

"There's something else," John fixed me with a hard stare.

"What is it?" I wanted to be away from him.

"You have to find a way to save me," John said.

I stared at him in shock. That request was the last thing I expected out of his mouth.

"Save you?" I frowned.

"I have the feeling that if anyone can save my soul, it'll be you," he told me.

"It may not be possible, John," I explained.

"Do what you can. But also you have to save Sammy," John lowered his gaze. "And protect Dean."

My eyes widened at that statement. "John," I whispered.

"It's best if you go now," John said.

I walked out of the room but I stayed in the background watching John. He spent a great deal of time in Dean's room. He was so sad, yet I knew that he was steeling himself for what he was about to do. Sam's return to the hospital was violent. I chose not to listen to them fight anymore. I found the roof of the hospital and stayed there out of the way of everything else that was happening.

"This isn't like you," Raphael's voice broke through my thoughts.

I turned and stared at him for a moment. "I thought you were afraid of me."

Raphael sat beside me on the ledge. "It's a thing we do isn't it?"

"Huh?" I was confused.

"Perch on buildings, statues, headstones just waiting," he explained.

"You didn't respond to my accusation," I taunted him.

"I know," Raphael replied. "I'm trying to figure out if I am afraid of you."  
I laughed. "That's a good one."

"Why are you up here?" he asked.

"I'm waiting," I answered. "It's what we do."

"You know that the spawn is here," he said.

"I know," I told him.

"You know that John Winchester is making a deal with him," Raphael continued.

"For his son, Dean," I answered.

"He's got the gun that you've been hunting for," Raphael prodded.

"I know," I nodded. "He's going to trade it for Dean's life."

"How do you know?" Raphael sounded impressed.

"I read his mind," I told him.

"So?" Raphael frowned.

"I was ordered to let everything happen," I said.

"That's what your orders are?" Raphael frowned. "And you're obeying them?"

"It's the only way," I said.

Raphael stared off into the distance. "That's a bad idea. That gun…"

"I know," I agreed. "But it's my own fault."

"This isn't your fault," Raphael said.

"I should have had it done and then killed…" I trailed off.

"No," Raphael shook his head. "It wasn't necessary to do that."

"I should have," I insisted.

"No," Raphael shook his head. "They would have found another way."

"These would have been left out it," I said.

"I don't think so," Raphael shook his head.

I frowned at him. "Raphael?"

"You have never asked why we're so interested in this particular family," Raphael hinted. "He's calling you."

I listened and nodded. I appeared to John.

"Kelsey," John looked at me. "I'm going to go see them now. Keep my boys safe."

"There's only so much I can do John," I told him.

"Protect them as best you can," John nodded.

"I will," I said.

He walked out the door and I returned to the roof. Raphael was no longer there but the Spawn was.

"You're not going to interfere?" he said.

"I'll root for the boys to kill you," I told him.

"Gotta go," he grinned and vanished. I closed my eyes as I felt John die.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

I went to look at John's body but it had already vanished. I chuckled at the empty crypt as I realized that Sam and Dean had already removed the body. I found them several miles away staring at a funeral pyre as they burned John's body. I refused to join in their grief because I knew exactly where John was. They went to Bobby's who held them tightly. They both went to bed and Bobby walked out on to the front porch.

"Kelsey!" he called.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Damn it! Why aren't you in there with them too?" he demanded.

"I don't want to have to answer their questions," I said.

Bobby stared at me for a moment. "John made a deal." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded my reply and Bobby swore eloquently.

"You're going to tell me the truth now, Kelsey?" Bobby struggled to keep the anger out of his voice.

"What truth is that?" I asked.

Bobby's mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to put his thoughts together. When he began speaking he used such invective that I was rather surprised for I had never heard such combinations used before.

"I think that I will leave until you regain your use of language," I said quietly.

"How are we going to solve this?" Bobby asked finally.

"I don't know," I replied.

"That's not the answer I was hoping for," Bobby said.

"I know," I looked away from him. I frowned for I sensed that we were being watched. I turned and saw Dean standing on the porch. Bobby's gaze followed mine and saw Dean as well.

"Oh, hell," Bobby said under his breath. "Don't you dare tell him!"

"Me?" I was stunned. "I'm not about to face Dean Winchester! Especially this Dean whose feelings are so raw."

Bobby raised an eyebrow at my statement, however I chose to ignore him. Dean walked towards us. He stopped directly in front of me and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I held him but noted that he wasn't crying. Bobby placed his hand on Dean's shoulder as well but he remained silent.

"Dean!" Sam's voice cut through the night.

"He's over here with us," Bobby answered.

Sam walked to us and stopped. "Us?" he sounded puzzled.

I managed to wave at Sam although I was completely shielded by Dean.   
"Kelsey!" Sam cried. He wrapped his arms around both us and I was quite grateful that I was not human because a human woman would have required treatment for broken ribs.

Dean released me and Sam did as well. I stared at the two of them for a moment.

"I don't suppose you could tell us where he is?" Dean asked quietly.

"What's wrong?" I deflected his question with my own.

"I don't know," Dean shrugged. He looked behind me and stepped around me. I turned and watched where he went.

It was the Impala. The car was completely wrecked and he placed his hands on the top of the bent frame of the car and lowered his head to it. Still, he didn't cry. I felt Sam's hands on my shoulders.

"I better go to him," he said.

I looked at him for a moment.

"You know," he sniffled. "Last year, it was Dean who got me through Jessica's death and all the crap that came after it. I have to help him now."

"John was your father too, Sam," I said.

He looked at me for a moment. "I know. But Dean needs me more than I need him. He's not good at letting his feelings out."

"Sammy," my voice grew hoarse with emotion.  
"He's my brother, Kelsey," Sam's eyes were filled with emotion. "I'm the only person he's ever really going to say anything to."

"Why do you think that is?" I was curious.

"Because we're family," Sam stared down at his shoes for a moment. "And that's the most important thing."

"It was always important to Dean," I reminded Sam.

"I love him," Sam said.

"Yes," I nodded. "He's your brother."

"No – Yes. I didn't mean Dean," Sam shook his head.

"Sammy?" I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I don't think he knew that I loved him," Sam said. "Dad, I mean."

"You and your brother were more important to him than his own soul," I told Sam truthfully.  
"You have to say that Kelsey," Sam said.

"What?" I frowned at him.

"I better go take care of Dean," Sam said. "Are you staying?"

"For a while," I replied.

"Good," Sam nodded.

He walked to where Dean remained. He didn't attempt to touch him, which I found interesting. But there was something else that was tearing Dean apart, I could tell it was more than grief that was running through him. Then I thought of John's last words about Dean being the only person who could save Sam. I believed that John was wrong, because Dean couldn't be the only person? Although I had to concede that John Winchester probably knew more about what his sons needed to survive than I did, I was not about to question of John's wisdom just yet, but I will admit that I was worried about John's judgment at times.

"They'll be all right," Bobby said.

"I don't think that they ever will be," I replied.

"Lots of kids lose their parents, Kelsey," Bobby continued.

"Not like them," I said. "Not to the same evil."

"That's the hard part," Bobby nodded.

"I know," I watched Dean not look at his brother.

There was something deliberate about it and very wrong. I frowned at this observation. Dean wasn't being himself. I patted Bobby's hand and walked over to where they stood. I tugged on Dean's shirt and he turned to face me. His eyes were veiled but he couldn't hide the truth from me.

"Come on," I said. "You can work on the car tomorrow."

Sam frowned at me and I shook my head. Dean glanced at the car and nodded in agreement. He permitted me to lead him back into the house and I put him to bed. Sam took the bed across from him and he closed his eyes drifted off to sleep. Dean stared at the ceiling.

I leaned forward and placed my lips to his ear. "Sleep," I said.

Dean's eyes closed and he was asleep. I sat on the bed watching them both and I thought of the last time I had watched them sleep. Then I recalled John doing a similar thing recently in a motel room. Sam's sleep was disturbed and I calmed him. They would sleep well that night, but in the morning they would have to deal with their father's loss in their own way.

I left the room and found Bobby sitting at the table with a bottle of whiskey. I sat across from him.  
"So many gone in a short space of time," he said.

"Well, this particular demon isn't shy about body counts," I commented.

"Holy water didn't dent the damn thing," Bobby slammed his hand on the table.

"This demon is quite old," I said. "Holy water wouldn't work."

Bobby frowned at me. "Just how old are we talking?"

I looked up at him. "I can't tell you."

"You'd have to explain just exactly what you are," Bobby nodded.

"You wouldn't be able to handle that Bobby," I told him.

Bobby's frown deepened. "Missouri said that you were something far worse than a demon."

"Did she now?" I chuckled.

"She said," Bobby leaned forward on the table. "That you were probably an angel."

"Now," I sat back in the chair. "How could an angel be worse than a demon?"

Bobby studied me for a moment. "Angels are not what we think. You're not fluffy creatures with harps and wings and halos."

"I've never understood that representation myself," I shrugged.

"You have been walking with those boys," Bobby said. "You're a guardian?"

I shook my head. "I'm no guardian angel, Bobby."

Bobby stared at me for a moment. "I should be afraid of you, and yet I'm not."

"That's because I'm being nice, Bobby," I told him. "That's because I'm being nice."

Bobby straightened up, "You know that Dean doesn't believe in angels."

"I know," I nodded.

"One day, you're going to tell him the truth?" Bobby asked.

I stared at the wall for a moment. "No, the truth is about perspective."

Bobby started at that. "Kelsey?" his voice was low.

"It's war Bobby," I said gently.

"War? This thing isn't over yet," Bobby choked on his words.

"No, Bobby," he had to know the truth. "It's not started yet."

"All these deaths?" Bobby frowned.

"They're just the first salvo," I explained.

"The increased possessions," Bobby said. "They're gearing for something big."

"It's going to get worse," I said.

"The colt is gone," Bobby told me.

"Sammy spent a lot of time talking to you," I observed.

"He had to talk to someone," Bobby said.

"He's not dealing with John's death," I noted.

"Sammy will deal with it in time. Right now he's worried about Dean," Bobby assured me.

"It's going to be hard for both of them," I said.

"I love those two like they were my own," Bobby stated.

"I know," I nodded. "That's why you didn't shoot John years ago."  
"Kelsey, this isn't the time to make jokes," Bobby admonished.

"Who's joking?" I countered. "I'm only saying the truth."

"He was a hard man to know," Bobby nodded. "But he did the best he could."

"He did better than he thought," I replied.

"What do you mean?" Bobby's expression grew puzzled.

"In that room is John Winchester's legacy," I declared. "Those two men he raised are the embodiment of everything he believed in."

"Yes," Bobby nodded. "But he pretty much screwed up their heads, too."

"I'm not saying that I agreed with his methods, but it's hard to argue with the results," I suggested.

Bobby frowned at that. "He was a good man."

"That's all anyone can ever hope," I smiled at Bobby.

"What now?" he asked.

"They're going to stay with you for a while. They've always considered here a safe place for them," I said.

"They know they're always welcome to stay with me," Bobby nodded. "In fact, I would prefer it."

"They're his sons, Bobby," I told him. "Unless you plan on chaining them to the fence, they're going to go on the road, doing what they were trained to do."

"Is that wise?" Bobby asked.

"They are supposed to be doing this, Bobby," I replied. "They are _**supposed**_ to be doing this," I repeated for emphasis.

"The price is too high," Bobby shook his head.

"It always is," I noted. "It always is."

"You're not just talking about them are you?" Bobby demanded.

I looked up at him and considered his question. He was right. I wasn't just speaking of Sam and Dean.

"It applies to all of them," I stood and walked to the door.

"You're not leaving?" Bobby sounded concerned.

"No," I shook my head. "I'm just going outside for a while. I'll be here in the morning when they wake."

I opened it and stepped outside. I glanced back and saw Bobby return to his chair at the table. He pulled open the bottle and drank to the memory of John Winchester. I returned my attention to the night sky and reminded myself that I had to obey.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 

I tackled the kitchen first thing in the morning and decided to cook everything that I could think of. Fortunately Bobby had chosen to stock the pantry, however, he walked into the kitchen took one look at me and left the house. I chose not to pay his actions any attention and focused on my cooking.

"Wow!" I heard the comment behind me. I spun and found a stunned Sam and Dean staring at the food that was running out of room on the table.

"Kelsey," Dean came forward and took the ladle out of my hand. "Maybe you should stop cooking. We're not feeding a whole army here."

"Hey," Sam held up his hands. "If Dean can say that this is too much food. It's too much."

"You have to eat," I said.  
"And we will," Dean said. "But can you stop cooking now?"

I nodded.

The door opened and Bobby walked through it. He whistled his surprise.

"Don't worry," Bobby said. "There's a soup kitchen somewhere that'll be glad for some of this."

"Or you could open a diner and put her to work," Sam suggested.  
"Are y'all making fun of me?" I demanded.  
"No," they said at once.

"Then what?" I was curious.

"We're just worried about the amount of food you expect us to eat," Bobby pointed out.

I surveyed the kitchen and didn't think there was that much food.

"Um," Sam tugged my arm. "Don't forget out there." He opened the door and I saw that the living room was filled with dishes of steaming food as well.

"Oh," I frowned. I didn't realize that I had cooked that much. "I'll stop."

Dean placed his hand on my shoulder. "You haven't cried at all."

"Neither have you," I reminded him.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, well."

Sam shook his head. "Well, I guess we'd better start eating. And donate the rest?"  
Bobby chuckled, "To think that a person who doesn't need to eat, cooks so much."

I decided to keep my retort to myself. Dean smiled at that and then his eyes grew sad and troubled.  
"Yep," he nodded.

"All right," I said. "Go and eat."

They sat in front of the food that I had prepared and I watched them attempt to eat. Dean pushed away from the table and walked outside. Sam stared after his brother but said nothing. Then he stood and walked back to the room they shared. I stared at the food.

"Don't worry about the food," Bobby said. "I'm sure they'll eat later."

"I know Bobby," I replied.

"They'll get through this," Bobby told me.

"At what cost?" I asked.

"Don't worry so much," Bobby said.

I said nothing to this. I merely smiled at Bobby for I realized that he needed to believe that as well.

I walked outside a few minutes later and found Dean hard at work under the Impala. I sat next to him and watched while he worked. He looked out from under the car.

"I don't suppose that you know the different tools," he said.

"Tools?" I raised an eyebrow at that statement.

Dean rolled forward on the slide that he used to work under the car. "It's okay," he said as he reached for the tool he wanted.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Rebuilding the car," he told me.

"Okay," I nodded.

"You're going to bug me about how I'm feeling?" he asked.

"Nope," I shook my head.

"Good," he went back to work.  
I sat and stared at the tools while he worked in silence. It was hard work pulling the pieces of the car apart. He took off sections the car and placed them in a heap. I frowned at them.

"I have to beat them back into shape," he answered my frown.

"Why?" I asked.

"So that the car can work properly. I probably have to replace sections of the frame," he touched the various parts.

"I see," I commented.

Dean smirked at my comment.

"What?" I asked him.

"Good try," he replied. "But you have no clue what's going on."

"I'm not going to get between you and that car," I stated.

"Oh?" he crooked an eyebrow.

"Yes," I nodded. "I remember how attached you are to that car."

Dean chuckled for a moment. "You don't age."

"I am timeless," I grinned.

"I guess I have to talk to you at some point," he commented.  
"Only when you want to," I assured him.

"Okay," he nodded and returned to work on the car.

I stayed for a few more minutes until I sensed that there was someone else who needed my attention. I studied Dean for a moment and went in search of Sam. He was in the room staring at the wall. I sat on the bed beside him. He leaned over and rested his head on my shoulder and wept. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as he cried. I recalled another time when I had held Sam as he cried. He was much smaller then and certainly was more manageable.

I held him until his tears stopped. He sat up and smiled at me sadly.

"I'm too old to cry like that," he said.

"Says who?" I asked.

He shook his head. "It's hard."

"Of course it is," I told him.

Sam stared at me for a moment, "Dean's taking this really hard."

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Dean's always kept his feelings inside," Sam argued. "He just needs time to deal."

"Uh – huh," I nodded.

"Kelsey," Sam locked his eyes with mine. "You know him as well as I do. But I probably know him better. He's my brother. I'm going to get him through this."

"Of course," I smiled. "And the second you land in trouble, Dean will come charging to the rescue."

"What's bugging you?" Sam asked.

"I think that there's something else that he's not telling you," I replied.

"It's just Dean's way of dealing with stuff," Sam said.

"Okay," I shrugged. "Feel a little better?"

"A little bit," Sam held his head lower.

"Maybe you should be like your brother," I suggested.

"What?" Sam appeared puzzled by my suggestion.

"I'm just saying, that since Dean has found the car to work on, maybe you should find something to occupy your time," I explained.

Sam sat perfectly still. He stood and walked to a bag on the floor where he knelt and rummaged through it until he came up with a cell phone in his hand. I frowned at him for I didn't understand how a phone could help him.

"This was one of Dad's old cell phones," Sam stared at it his hand.

"And?" I asked.

"I'm going to see what Dad was up to," Sam said.

My frown deepened. "Is that wise, Sam?"  
"It'll give me something to do. He's got voicemail on it but I can't break his code," Sam told me.  
"You boys are your fathers' sons, all right," I commented.

"You're partly to blame yourself," Sam's eyes sparkled through the sadness.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh sure, blame me," I said.

Sam chuckled softly. "I miss him," he said.

"You need to tell your brother that too," I replied.

"That won't help," Sam shrugged.

"It might," I walked over to where he still knelt and patted his head.

"You've been doing that since I can remember," Sam observed.

"I've been in and out of your life since you were a baby," I told him.

"I know," Sam nodded.

"It will get better, Sam," I whispered.

"We've lost him," Sam choked.

"There are still people who love you," I said.

"Dean is all I have left," Sam said. "I just never. I just never…"

"You figured he would be there for you to reach an understanding?" I guessed.

Sam looked up at me. "Yeah," he sighed. "It was like. I figured that at some point I'd stop being so angry at him."

"That there would be time for you both to admit that you loved each other," I finished.

"I know that he loved me," Sam continued. "I wanted him to know that I didn't hate him."

"Your father didn't think that you hated him, Sam," I said.

"You're supposed to say that," he told me.

I gripped his face and forced his eyes to meet mine. "You listen to me. I'm not trying to make you feel better. Your father loved you. He loved both of you. No matter what happened between the two of you, you can't forget that."

"I won't," he said.

"Good," I nodded. "Now, I have to leave."  
"No," Sam protested.

"There are some things that I have to attend to. I have left them alone, long enough," I insisted.

"Okay," Sam nodded.

I stood and Sam decided to follow me out the door.

The front door opened and Bobby walked inside. He stopped when he saw the expression on Sam's face.

"Kelsey," he said. "You can't leave yet."

I glared at Bobby for a moment. "I _**have**_ to go."

Bobby frowned at me and then it dawned on him. "Oh, right. That thing we were talking about earlier."

"Yes," I said.

Sam stared at us for a moment and frowned. "What's going on?"  
"Nothing dear," I told him.

"Dear?" Sam's eyebrow shot up.

"Didn't you just finish accusing me of being partially responsible for how you and your brother turned out?" I retorted.

"I stand corrected," Sam raised his hands in defense.

The door opened and Dean walked through it. He was covered in grease from his work on the car.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"Kelsey has to leave now," Sam said.

"Oh, okay," Dean shrugged.

"Dean!" Sam cried.

"It's okay," I quieted Sam.

I walked over to Dean and gingerly placed my hand on his shoulder. "Don't I get a see you later?"

Dean looked at me for a moment and I gasped at the anguish in his eyes. His shoulders went rigid and I nodded. I withdrew my hand and turned to walk out the door. I felt the crush of the arms and I patted his head. Sam joined him in his hug. But Dean pulled away and walked towards the kitchen. Sam stared at him in shock.

"It's all right, Sam," I said.

"No," he shook his head.

"It is," I smiled and headed for the door.

"Kelsey!" Dean's voice stopped me. "Don't stay away too long."

I looked at him and nodded. I walked out the door and traveled down the road into Hell. It was time to find John Winchester and see if I could save his soul.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 

My time in Hell is normally spent with my newsletter. I checked to see what my staff was up to and discovered that there was the incident detailing the death of the Spawn's son and the exorcism of his daughter. I figured that she must have been the one who killed Pastor Jim, Caleb and several others in her quest to fulfill her father's mission. Hell was also buzzing with the capture of John Winchester's soul, however the management council was not so pleased as they were served with a notice from the Reapers, that they planned to pursue legal action because of the crimes of the Spawn.

Now you may be curious about this talk of legal action. You must understand that life beyond death is far more complicated than it is before death. In the afterlife, there are rules that must be followed. These rules did not exist eons ago. But they were deemed necessary after a series of conflicts that arose between the different factions that deal with life and death. The treaties that were signed had very specific rules, especially with regard to not only the neutrality of the Reapers but also the protection of that neutrality. The Spawn in his eagerness to possess the soul of John Winchester, took possession of the Reaper who had Dean's soul in her care. By that action, the treaty was broken and the Reapers were pursuing legal action as dictated by the treaty in the courts of Limbo.

This is not relevant to the fate of John Winchester's soul, except that he was taken before it was his time. That order had been upset and it had to be equalized somehow. Dean Winchester was at the point of death. He had not yet died therefore the Reaper was also on shaky ground. While it is perfectly true that I could have healed Dean, I was bound by very specific rules. I would have had to possess tangible proof that there was demonic involvement in his injury. There was no witness except the human hunters and it could easily be argued, for it had been done so in the past, that humans are not good judges of what they view to be possession. That is why there must be an impartial witness. The witnesses that are relied on are the Reapers. This is the reason that so many humans survive exorcisms. The Reapers are able to report that the names were put on the list because of interference. Are you now able to see the predicament that I was in? I had the power to heal Dean, but not the proof to defend that healing. There was also the added fact that Reapers are perfectly happy reaping souls and are truly ambivalent to the reasons a human dies, it is usually only after waving the treaty in their faces that angels can get them to return the soul.

So, my journey through Hell was a difficult one. Because John Winchester was a prized prisoner, it took all of my resources to locate him. That was, however, a great deal easier than actually getting to him. He was heavily guarded for the demons were fearful that infiltrators would attempt to wrest him from Hell. The truth is that if John Winchester escaped and went to the surface then he would be tracked down and dragged back to Hell. If he managed to get into Limbo or even Heaven itself, nothing in Hell could return him. Hell would lose all claims to his soul. Not that Hell wouldn't fight for his return. It's just that there is a rule that would in essence negate the whole argument. My job therefore was to ensure that I got John Winchester out of Hell and hand him over to the 'other side'. It was time like these I wondered if angels spent too much time watching human espionage movies.

I spent the better part of the day seeking the exact location of John Winchester. I wasn't able to approach him, but he looked certainly the proverbial 'worse for wear'. I stared at him and saw his anguish. He had suffered a great deal in life and now his soul was being tormented. I shook my head and reminded myself that it was John's own stubbornness that put him in this untenable position.

I sighed and began making my plans. I had to send the rumor mill into overdrive. I used the newsletter to help find memos and create leaks that would help to spread panic in Hell; of course having the best gossip columnist in existence didn't hurt either. It took skillful manipulation to get the children of the Spawn to assist in driving Hell to the brink of hysteria. I even managed to have them 'break' John out of Hell. He didn't actually stay very far because there were several problems to that particular plan and those were certainly on the heads of the children of the Spawn.

I thought of the plan and began to execute it slowly. While I was busy laying the groundwork for this, I heard that the boys were again hunting. They had come across a demon that they had managed to slay. I was very concerned about them hunting and wondered if something else had happened while I was gone. I started the first stage of my plan and then returned to the surface.

I was uncertain of what to expect. I searched for them but found them leaving a circus after they had defeated whatever they had confronted. I checked to make certain that they were okay and I went to Bobby's, where I expected them to return. Bobby was surprised when I knocked on the door.

"Kelsey!" he exclaimed.

"The boys are fine, they should be here soon," I said.

Bobby frowned. "They went in search of an old friend of John's."

"Who?" I was curious.

"Ellen Harvelle," Bobby stated.

My eyes widened at that knowledge. "You're kidding."

"They should be safe," Bobby said.

"Didn't John ever tell you?" I was surprised.

"What?" Bobby frowned.

"That Ellen blamed him for Bill's death?" I was aghast.

Bobby waved me off, "That was just grief talking, Kelsey."

"Was it Bobby?" I demanded.

"Yes," Bobby smiled at me. "It's that you don't really understand humans."

"Perhaps," I acquiesced. I hoped I was wrong and waited for the boys to return.

They came back in a few hours, but they weren't communicative. Bobby said nothing and they failed to notice that I was present. Bobby was a bit surprised at that but I remained quiet. Something had happened between them and they needed to solve it. I watched and waited. Then I realized that Dean had returned outside to work on the car. Bobby was a bit concerned about the silence, however I refused to engage in any conversation.

Sam remained inside the room and then went outside, I presumed to confront Dean. Bobby and I exchanged looks but we each kept our counsel. Sam came slamming back into the house. Bobby raised his eyebrow at Sam's anger.

"Sam," Bobby called to him. "The house hasn't hurt you."

"It's okay," Sam shook his head. He walked back into the other room.

"Kelsey," Bobby stared at Sam's retreating backing. "I think you better go find Dean before he hurts himself."

I nodded and left the house choosing to go where the car was being repaired.

I came upon Dean beating the Impala with a tire iron. I was stunned as I watched him pound the trunk until a hole formed. I was perturbed for I knew that he had worked very hard on the car. He actually frightened me with the rage that emanated from him. He stopped and held the tire iron in his hand. I walked into view and he stared at me.

"Didn't like the body work?" I asked.

Dean remained silent.

I shrugged and turned away from him. I heard when the tire iron was thrown against another car. I stopped and turned to face him.

"Was there something else?" I asked.

"Why?" he said quietly.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Why didn't you save him?" he said.

"Save him?" I was confused.

Dean's eyes became stormy as he stared at me. "My dad."

"Oh," I nodded. "Well, that's the thing, I couldn't save him."

"Why not?" Dean leaned against the shell of the car.

"Because I don't do that," I said.  
"You've saved people before," he countered.

"True," I nodded. "But only in cases when I am permitted to save anyone."

"What do you mean permitted?" Dean demanded.

"Everyone has his or her time to go," I replied.

"So," Dean's lips became a fine line. "It was just my dad's time to go."

"Life and Death are far more complex than you know," I offered.

"I think that Dad asked you to leave him alone," Dean narrowed his gaze.

I schooled my face into an expression of neutrality. I sensed the rage that simmered beneath the surface. I also recognized that I had to confront what was destroying him inside.

"What did your father tell you?" I questioned.  
Dean's face became even stonier. "He said nothing."  
"I'm not your brother," I said. "You can't lie to me."

"I don't lie to Sam," Dean's voice was icy.

I raised an eyebrow at that statement, "Uh – huh. Okay, so he's better at it than you are?"

"Kelsey," Dean closed the distance between us and placed his nose an inch from mine. "I am not the liar."

"Oh? And I am?" I was faintly amused.

"You aren't what you pretend to be," Dean said.

"Are you going to fight me or something Dean?" I asked.

"No," he said as he straightened to his full height.

I took a step backward. This was not the Dean I had known all his life. I didn't recognize this cold, angry man in front of me.

"Did your father tell you that you had kill Sam if you couldn't save him?" I demanded.

Dean looked at me coldly, "I have no clue what you're talking about Kelsey."

"Dean," I gasped. "You need to tell your brother."

"I need to tell Sammy, nothing," Dean sneered.

"I see," I nodded. "Well, I guess if you need me, you'll call."

"Don't worry," Dean turned his back to me and walked back to the house.

I stood there in shock staring at his back. I heard the thunder roll. I thought that the fight with Daniel all those years before had been difficult to endure. This was worse. I walked over to the car and concentrated on unbending the metal frame and molding the car back into shape. I touched the top of the car.

"Take care of them," I whispered.

I walked out of the junkyard and returned to Hell.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 

I chose to use my desk in Hell to continue spreading rumors. Of course I was forced at times to defend my reporters but this was Hell. It was likely to happen in any case, so I was not perturbed by any of it. I also waited patiently for a call from either of the boys, but none came. They were both involved in their efforts and it was perfectly obvious that I was unwanted. I watched the place where John was held and in time I was given an opportunity to get inside the holding area.

I managed to get through the barrier and I saw where John was restrained. He had been given a form that could be tortured and was covered in cuts and bruises. The damage was easily reversed, however I doubted that John Winchester would be able to withstand eternity in such a condition. I knelt next to him and cradled his head. He coughed and said nothing.

"John," I whispered.

His eyes fluttered open and there was the unmistakable expression of fear in his eyes. I soothed his brow and he shook his head.  
"I'm really here, John," I assured him.

He closed his eyes and I wondered for a moment at his reaction. I nodded to myself, he would have been put through the classic hallucinations and then they'd move on to the latest in torture methods. I had to be patient and wait for him to be aware of where he truly was. It would do no good to save his soul, if there was nothing to left of him to save.

It is quite complicated to explain the whole process, but in essence the awareness that you possess is linked to your soul. Once that awareness is gone there is nothing more to save. It happens often with certain people who die. But there is nothing for us so they are simply left to drift. These aren't like the angry spirits who refuse to accept that they have to move on, these are simply nothing, as I said, this is a very difficult concept to explain.

I waited for days for John to return to himself. I kept watch and then one day he finally stared at me.

"I'm really seeing you," he murmured.

"Yes," I nodded.

"My boys?" he asked.

"They're coping with your death," I answered.

"How?" he wondered.

"I'm not sure that will help you at the moment, John," I told him.

"You're here to help me?" he questioned.  
"I'm supposed to," I replied.

"You're not being very helpful," he commented.

"You're not being very you," I argued.

John stared at me for a moment. He sat up as far as his shackles would permit him.

"I thought this was Hell?" John frowned.

"They can give you a body," I explained. "It helps with the torture process."

"Oh," John nodded.

"This isn't going to work if you don't fight, John," I said sternly.

"What?" he was confused.

"You have to hold onto yourself," I reached forward and shook him.

"I don't understand," he shook his head.

"If you don't remember who you are then you can't get out of here," I released him.

"Get me out of these chains," he demanded.

"I can't do that," I said.  
"Why not?" he pleaded.

"Because there's just no place for you to go," I sighed. "Besides, the whole thing has to play out completely before we can get you out."  
"Sammy," John whispered.

"I'm sorry, John," I hung my head. "It's all my fault."

"How can that be?" John's voice became sharp. That at least was a good sign. Fighting with John was often tiring, but that was ironically the only way to get him back. John Winchester never backed down from a fight.

"I'm the reason that your wife died," I told him. "I'm the reason that Sammy and the others are in danger."

"How is that possible?" John scoffed.

"You and Daniel fought over that gun," I surmised. "The gun that Samuel Colt made. The one that could kill anything supernatural."  
"You know about the gun," John looked away from me.

"I was the one who gave him the inscriptions," I gripped his chin and forced his gaze back to me.

"You gave him the inscriptions," John's attention was focused. His mind was latching on to the knowledge that he possessed.

"Yes," I prodded.

"Wait a minute," John's voice grew stronger. "Samuel Colt wrote about a woman who was in his life. A strange woman who he had done things for."

"Yes, John," I admitted. "I was that woman."

"I don't understand how this can all be your fault," John's eyes clouded.

"It's simple," I shrugged. "I had Samuel Colt make a lock and key. Because he did it voluntarily it placed obstacles in the path of any demon who wanted to use the key."

"The gun is the key," John's head lolled back. "Damn it, Kelsey, the yellow eyed demon has the gun."

"I know, John," I murmured.

"Then, you have to get it back," John frowned.

"I can't," I smiled sadly, "I have to get you out of Hell first. Unfortunately the only way to do that is to get the lock opened."

"What happens when the lock is opened?" John demanded.

"Oh, the legion of Hell that is imprisoned behind the lock are unleashed," I answered.

"Then you have to let me stay here, Kelsey," John shook his head.

"No, John," I placed my hand on his cheek. "If they don't succeed this time, they'll just try again."

"How did Mary die?" John whispered.

"She got in the way," I smiled.

"I don't understand," John's frown deepened.

"Neither do I," I chuckled. "I need to get to the bottom of that one."

"So we're going to wait until they use that key?" John questioned.

"Yep," I nodded. "But in the meantime I have to plan."

"What are you talking about?" John pulled on the shackles. "And what are you doing here?"

"I live here," I responded.

"Live here?" John's eyes widened. "Kelsey, this is Hell."

"I know, John," I told him. "I helped make it."  
"You're a demon?" he shrank from me.  
"No," I shook my head. "I'm an angel. Which in the grand scheme of things is much worse."  
"An angel?" John's voice reflected a mixture of horror and wonder.

"Yes, John," I smiled. "Bobby figured it out. How come you didn't?"  
"I suspected that was what you were. I even told Daniel that you probably were an angel. He said that you were worse than demons. That I should be careful around your kind because you weren't to be trusted," John divulged.  
"Wow," I arched an eyebrow. "Daniel really hated me."  
"No," John shook his head. "I think it was more a matter of wounded pride. He was upset that you chose to be…" John trailed off.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Why did you appear as an old guy to him?" John sounded curious.

I grinned. "Well, that was a bit of fluke really."

"Oh," John nodded. "I don't think that I really want to know the story for that one."  
"It's not pleasant," I agreed.

"He felt betrayed, you know," John said.  
"And you didn't?" I asked.  
"No," John shook his head.

"Liar," I scoffed.

"No," John repeated. "I knew that you were the one who was keeping us safe."

"What?" I frowned. "I'm not a guardian, John."

"No," he agreed. "But you operate outside the rules. You can do things that others can't do."

I studied him as he sat there. We could have been anywhere else, for he was alert and back.

"You need to hold on, John," I told him.

"I need to remain myself," John repeated.  
"Yes," I agreed. "If you don't do that…"  
"I'll be lost forever," John supplied.  
"That's correct," I nodded. "I have to leave you. It will feel like I'm never coming back, but I am."

"Keep my boys, safe," he said.

"I'm doing my best, John," I felt uneasy for neither of them would make it easy for me.

"I miss Mary," John said.  
"You'll see her soon," I comforted.

John closed his eyes but I wasn't worried about him. He had something cling to and that would keep his mind focused and preserve the essence that made him unique.

I left the enclosure and returned to my desk at the newsletter. I had to now begin the series of false documents interspersed with the real ones. I had to manufacture a distraction and there was one good way to do that. I would chart the activities of the boys on the surface. It was a good thing to do for it gave the members of Hell a reason to be skittish. It wasn't hard to place spies on the surface.

I chronicled their exploits with a nest of vampires and their meeting with Gordon Walker. I remembered Gordon and the darkness he carried within him. I wasn't sure if his interaction with Dean was a good idea, but Dean needed to come to grips with his pain and anger over his father's death.

Their next adventure led them to confront a female zombie. That I found vaguely amusing as it ended up with Sam breaking his arm. I read the reports from the cemetery and the boys were well trained. John did quite a job. After that they encountered another of the special children like Sam. That incident didn't end very well. They were exposed to further knowledge of the plans of the Spawn. But it couldn't be helped.


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 

I stayed in Hell and continued to follow all their adventures. They handled a haunting in an apartment building and I even checked in to see Bill's daughter all grown up. I remembered the child I watched as she cried herself to sleep every night for a month after her father died. Then I grew worried about the boys being with Ellen. Would she carry her anger at John to them? That was something that I wondered about, but chose to leave certain matters of humans to humans. Bobby said that I didn't understand and I hoped that he was right.

The boys then according to the reports traveled to Baltimore to investigate another haunting. This time they both ended up in trouble, as there was an incident from St. Louis the previous year. Dean was supposedly wanted for murders committed by a shape – shifter. Neither of them had told me of this, so there was not much I could do. I needed to expunge their records, however, that would have to wait until another time.

I kept an eye on John and noted that he was steadily improving. I followed his progress and made certain that he was alert and fighting the torment that he was placed under. My visits to him were carefully timed. Fortunately, Hell is a place filled with fear and mistrust. It was at times almost too easy to get them out of the way. It helped that Raphael and Michael along with Micah were busy testing the boundaries, which added to the level of fear as was evident in the number of notices that were filed with the newsletter.

I picked up the boys' trail in Mississippi. I was a bit curious as to why they were in Mississippi and realized that they were about to come in contact with a Crossroads Demon. She was using Hellhounds to drag her victims back into Hell. I saw what happened to one who was ripped to shreds. I relied on my source that stated that the boys were attempting to save one of the people who made a deal.

I didn't need either of them to learn the truth about John Winchester. However, I resigned myself to them discovering it, for that particular Crossroad demon was notorious for not being able to keep her mouth shut. The last time she had been careless I oversaw her punishment. I was more than willing to do that, but I refrained from warning her. Something needed to push Dean into facing the truth. If it weren't this, it would be something else. I waited for the whole thing to unfurl. I was impressed by Dean's recitation of the exorcism in his father's journal. I wasn't impressed with her performance and I was certainly going to find a way to punish her. Things had changed in the days of making deals. She resorted to marking their souls through a kiss. It was one way to do that. I didn't appear to either of them, for they had to call me.

It was about this time I heard rumors that the experiment with virus possession was starting again. I remember the experiment was a complete mystery to humans. It was amazing to me that they only recognized Roanoke and not the other places that had been similarly treated. But, then, I was dealing with humans and most of human history was lost in war, disease and repressive religious fervor.

I knew about the experiment at Crater Lake in Oregon. I was surprised to learn that both Sam and Dean were present along with another of that particular Spawn's children. I wondered about the female Meg who was reportedly engaged in a furious battle with her father. She wanted revenge on the Winchesters for exorcising her. She was no longer on board with the plan that her father was hatching. That to me was the most curious of all the developments.

Then there was the current court case in Limbo. My reporters were keeping everyone entertained. It is a pity that the newsletter cannot be written in these pages. But it would take up a great deal of space and I have more to write in my confession and precious little time to write it. These things managed to distract the others from tormenting John, which helped me in terms of keeping John centered and therefore he survived.

I decided to travel to the surface and came upon Sam and Dean by the lake drinking beer. I was about to approach them when I heard Dean tell Sam, what John had told him. I closed my eyes for my suspicions had been correct. He had instructed Dean that if he couldn't save Sam to kill him. I mentally railed against John and kept myself out of the line of fire. The brothers had a very one – sided fight. Sam needed Dean to fight back and Dean wasn't doing it. A lot had changed between them since their father's death. I followed them and was aware that they were being watched by Tracker Demons.

Tracker Demons were once archangels. They weren't about to interfere unless it was absolutely necessary for them to. I stayed back and saw when Sam left the motel room he shared with his brother. I was about to stop him, when my arm was grabbed. I spun and stared at Micah. I was puzzled by his presence.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"You have to let him go," Micah said.

"Do you know what has happened?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "The others are taking care of the Tracker Demons. We need you to interact with Dean without their interference. But, you can't help him find Sam."

"What is going on?" I insisted.

"Sam has to do this on his own. He has to face what's happening to him," Micah explained.

"Why are you so interested in Sam Winchester?" I wanted an answer.

"Mary," Micah replied.

"What?" I was confused.

"It has to do with their mom. Who she was and what she meant to us," Micah continued.

I frowned at that comment. "John trained those boys to be hunters."

"After Mary died. She tried to protect Sam from the Spawn," Micah sighed. "She chose to fight it. It was an instinctive reaction."

"She knew it?" I was stunned.

"Yes," Micah nodded.

"How?" I pressed.

"We have to keep our secrets as well," Micah evaded.

"Micah," I lowered my voice. "You are going too far with this."

"Not yet," he said. "Not yet."

I stared at the blank space in front of me as he vanished. I wasn't sure what to do next. Then I heard Dean's call. I appeared in the room in before him.

"Kelsey!" he cried.

"Sam's gone," I said quietly.

Dean stopped in mid – panic. "What do you know?"  
"I know that you finally told your brother the truth and he ran away," I explained.

Dean frowned at me. "You were there?"  
"Yep," I confirmed.

Dean closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His eyes snapped open, "Why didn't you stop him?"

"I doubt that your brother was about to listen to me," I said.

"Yeah," Dean grimaced. "It's been a tough few months."

"I see," I nodded.

"Really?" Dean's eyebrow went up.

"Why didn't you tell me about St. Louis?" I demanded.

"How did you?" he stopped.

"I know a lot of things, Dean," I replied.

"Where's Sam?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered.

"You're lying!" he accused.

"No," I shook my head. "I don't know where he is at the moment. He's not ready to be found yet."

"He can hide from you?" Dean's frown returned.

"Yes," I nodded. "He can hide from me."

"But I can't," Dean surmised.

"You're different," I explained.

"How is that?" Dean's body went rigid.

"You bonded with me as a child," I smiled. "Sam didn't."

"He was always around you," Dean's face took on a quizzical expression.

"Yes," I nodded. "That's true. But you were always the one to be able to call me."

"You found him in the park that time," Dean argued.

"Because you were looking for him," I supplied.

"There's something that you're not telling me," Dean fixed me with a hard stare.

"Oh?" I feigned ignorance.

"You knew that Dad made a deal," Dean continued.

"Yes," I admitted. It made no sense denying it, since I knew that the Crossroad demon had told him the truth.

"He got Ellen's husband killed," Dean pressed.

"It was a hunt that went badly," I told him. "I wasn't there for the event. I came on the scene afterward. Bill was dead in a matter of minutes. Your father was devastated."  
"How devastated?" Dean's eyes welled with tears.

"We had a huge fight about the amount of guilt he felt. It was around the same time that you met Caleb," I said.

"Caleb?" Dean frowned. "It was the time we first met Caleb?"

"Yes," I answered.

"He was a wreck," Dean frowned. "You had to stay with us to make sure that he didn't do something crazy."

"Well," I shrugged. "I had to make sure that he was alive to raise the two of you."

"Why?" Dean demanded.

"You had no one else," I said.  
"You know," Dean spoke quietly. "Mom had family. She had an uncle who put up a tombstone for her."

"I guess marrying your father caused a divide," I surmised.

"Perhaps," Dean nodded. "You know she believed in angels."  
"You don't," I said.

"No," he stared at me intently.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Are you going to help me find Sam?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. Then I looked directly into his eyes. "You know how to find your brother Dean. You know where he will turn. You know what is driving him. You don't need me."

"I don't?" he seemed confused.

"No," I replied.

Dean stepped back from me and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number and waited for the answer.

"Ellen?" he said. "It's Dean. Look I know that we didn't part well, but Sam took off. I need to know if you've seen him."

He paused and then said. "Okay, just tell him to stay there if he goes there. I have to get a hold of him."

He listened intently for a moment. "Thanks, Ellen. I'm going to go check some places out and see if he turns up there." He ended the call.

"Was that wise?" I asked.

"There's nowhere else for him to turn," Dean said. "Besides, we're kind of both wanted men."

I rolled my eyes. "It'll take a while to figure out how to get you out of that one."  
"Why didn't you stop my dad?" Dean asked.

"No one could stop your dad when his mind's made up," I explained. "Besides, he told me not to save him. We had a huge fight in the hospital about it."

"Why did he do it?" Dean demanded.

"He felt that you were the only one who could save Sam," I told him.

"That's nonsense," Dean railed.

"He also loved you too much to lose you like that," I said.

"What?" Dean's head snapped up.

"Your father loved the two of you far more than you'll ever know," I replied.

"He didn't want to bury his children," Dean grimaced.

"Of course not!" I rebuked. "Dean, your father despite his faults, loved you both. I don't care what you think. He did!"

Dean nodded, "It's okay, Kelsey." He gave me a wan smile.

"Go find your brother," I said. "Oh, and be careful of Gordon Walker."  
"I know," Dean nodded. "He's not like us. He could kill his own sibling. He did."

I was surprised and yet not surprised. "You'll find Sam."

"I'm heading to Ellen's right now," Dean said as he grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He stared at me for a moment and then walked to the car and drove off.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 

I will admit that I couldn't simply stay and not find out what happened. I followed Dean and he found Sam. Sam was in a motel room with a girl. I was a bit surprised since Sam was not exactly known for moving that fast. That was something that belonged to Dean. I waited for what would happen next and then was shocked to hear gunshots ring out. Dean reached the roof and Gordon was attempting to kill Sam. Dean started fighting him and was overpowered.

I followed Gordon as he carried Dean to an abandoned building. I was disturbed by the turn of events. Gordon Walker wasn't possessed, which meant that I had to follow specific rules with regard to him. Gordon however wasn't interested in harming Dean. Dean was simply bait to get to Sam. I listened to their conversation and shook my head at the lack of vision that he possessed. He called psychics, sub – human. He had no grasp for the truth.

I returned outside and waited for Sam. This was a human affair and that meant that all I was permitted to do was watch as it played out. Micah soon joined me.

"We have to stop this," he muttered.  
"It's three humans involved in a dispute, Micah," I said. "The rules are extremely clear."

"This is a problem," he argued. "If he gets killed it'll put our plan in danger."

"Oh," I was not very sympathetic. "Your plan is of course more important than their lives."

"It's not that," Micah frowned.

"That's what it sounds like," I said. "You could have ended this whole thing that very night. You could have purged the child."

"It wouldn't have brought back the mother," Micah said.

"So?" I was furious. "They would have been free!"

"No!" Micah shook his head. "John would have still chased it."

"Not if you had purged the memory as well. He would have believed that his wife died in an electrical fire accident," I argued.

"We took advantage of an opportunity," Micah defended. "It's not like we put that family in harm's way."

I shook my head. "Harm's way?" I couldn't believe him.

"Look, they'll have to get out of this without our direct help," Micah prodded.

"Direct help?" I stepped away from him. "I'm not helping."

"He'll die!" Micah hissed.

"Perhaps," I shrugged. "Perhaps not."

"Why are you being so difficult?" Micah demanded.

"There's another way out of this," I narrowed my gaze at him.

"What do you mean?" Micah appeared nervous.

"Well," I placed a hand on my hip. "I could always destroy the lock itself and fix it with a permanent seal."

"That would mean leaving John in Hell," Micah said.

"No," I shook my head. "I can break him out of Hell and turn him over to you."

"That would mean turning all of Hell upside down," Micah shook his head. "We don't want an all out war between angels and demons."

"So the humans are to fight this war for us?" I was stunned.

"No," Micah looked away from me.

"Then what?" I glared at him.

"We need to get him out of there," Micah hung his head.

"So let me do it," I said.

"No," Micah disagreed. "We're not ready for a full out war, yet. It's not time for it."  
"It'll be soon, you know that," I argued.

"Yes, but we need to get him out and create a huge distraction at the same time," Micah told me.  
"You do realize what I locked in," I stared at him.

"Yes," Micah nodded.  
"You understand the consequences of those things being unleashed on the surface?" I pressed.

"We understand," Micah looked at me gravely. "It must be done."

I rolled my eyes. I was tired of these kinds of orders. I was ordered to seal them in the first place and now I was being ordered to unseal them.

"John Winchester must be extremely important," I said nonchalantly.

"Nice try," Micah smiled.

An explosion sounded from the direction of the building, which was followed immediately by another. Micah stared in horror at the building. I focused on whether I could sense Sam or Dean still alive. I felt Dean's terror and I shared it for a brief moment until I sensed Sam moving.

Micah shook his head.

"You can't underestimate them," I said.

"I don't know how you put up with them for so long," Micah stared at the building.

"I must have the patience of an angel," I suggested.

Micah struggled to contain his smile. "Looks like they're going to be fine."

"I hope so," I turned my attention to them. I sensed when he vanished. "I hope so," I repeated.

I waited to see what they would do next, when I heard shots being fired. Gordon was walking towards them and firing his guns.

"This is what you call taking care of him?" Dean screamed at Sam as they took cover.

I wondered about that as well. Then I heard the wail of sirens. Police cars came into view and they arrested Gordon. They discovered where he kept his weapons hidden in his car. Dean congratulated his brother on his quick thinking.

They waited until the police left the scene before they made their way back to the Impala. "That was good," Dean said.  
"Well," Sam shrugged.

"No," I spoke from behind them. "I would never have thought that you would pull that kind of a stunt."

They stopped and spun around at the same time.  
"Kelsey!" they both sounded surprised.

"What?" I asked them. "You, honestly think that I wouldn't be around for when the two of you did something monumentally stupid?"

"Oh come on!" Dean scoffed. "You're not going to ride us about that are you?"  
I glared at them.

"Wait a minute," Sam stared at me. "If you were here the whole time, why didn't you do something?"

"Was Gordon Walker possessed?" I asked.

"No," Dean shook his head. "He's over the edge."  
"He's out of control," Sam amended.

"Some could say the same about you," I pointed out.

"We're not out of control," Dean scoffed.

I arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"No!" Dean argued.

"Let me see," I scratched my chin. "Hmm…. You get yourselves arrested and you're now on the FBI's most wanted list. You go to a strange place where some weird experiment is being conducted and get yourself infected."

They stared at me uncomfortably.

"Then of course, Dean here, who has been keeping your dad's secret _**burden **_from you. Finally tells you what has been eating him alive and you run off in the middle of the night. You go to people who probably shouldn't trust, and your brother here gets kidnapped because Gordon Walker decides that he's going to wipe out anything that's related to an upcoming supernatural war," I stopped.

"How do you know all this?" Sam asked.

"I keep tabs on you," I admitted.

"Those are some pretty detailed tabs," Dean observed.

"I'll say," Sam frowned. "You've been keeping tabs on us? Why?"

"I promised your father," I told them.

"You were there when he died," Sam narrowed his gaze.

"John Winchester is certainly capable of a great number of things," I grumbled.

"He made you not interfere," Sam guessed.

"Of course," I answered.

"So you knew all along what he told Dean," Sam pressed.

"No," I shook my head. "I suspected."

"Why would Dad think that I was going to go all evil?" Sam frowned.

"It's the war," Dean replied.

"How did Gordon find out?" Sam asked.

"He said that it was slipped out during an exorcism," Dean muttered.

"He got information out of a demon that he was exorcising?" Sam sounded impressed.

"He killed the innocent person in the process," Dean stared at him.

"Well," Sam shrugged. "He killed his own sister, because she was a vampire."  
"He was ready to kill you," Dean said.

"Of course he was," Sam nodded. "Hell, Dad was probably ready to do it if he had to as well."

I grabbed Sam's arm and pulled his face down to mine, "Your father was never going to kill you."

"He told Dean to," Sam argued.

"He told Dean to save you," I clarified.

"If he can't?" Sam struggled to free himself from my grasp.

"I'm saving you," Dean stated.

Sam stopped struggling and stared at me with baleful eyes, "He knew that he couldn't save me."

"I wish the both of you would believe me when I tell you that your father loved you more than his own life," I pushed Sam into Dean.

Dean fought and kept his balance and he pushed Sam into an upright position.

"Damn she's strong!" Sam exclaimed.

"She's carried me plenty of times," Dean told him.  
"Well," Sam shrugged. "So have I."

I rolled my eyes. "You do remember that your brother used to put you to bed, Sam?"

"I recall a time when you caught…" Sam stopped as he saw Dean clench his fist.

"You know what," Sam nodded. "Let's get out of here."

"I agree," Dean nodded. "You coming Kelsey?"

"I'll catch up with you later," I told them. They got in their car and drove off.


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It occurred to me while I watched their car drive off into the night that I had spent a great deal of time watching them drive away from me. I wasn't very happy about the limited role that I now played in their lives, but it was important for them to live. That is the hardest part for me to deal with. I went through it with Sister Anthony and now I was going through it with them. But this time the evils that faced them were not just humans but demons from Hell as well.

I decided that I would visit the Roadhouse and see if I could get a good grasp of what Ellen was about when I heard Dean scream my name. I frowned and quickly sped to where he was. I entered the house and saw a man lying in the bed. I was puzzled.

"Kelsey!" Sam called to me.

"I'm here," I answered. I turned and saw him standing next to Dean.

"She's gone," Sam said.

"Who?" I was trying to sort out how we got to this place.

"Ava," Sam said.

"Who is Ava?" I asked.

"The girl," Sam sounded exasperated.

"Sam," Dean patted his arm. "She doesn't pay attention to what we're doing. Only to the fact that we're safe."

Sam sighed.  
"Let's get away from here," I suggested. "I think that you boys don't need to add to any more of your felonies right now."

Dean struggled to keep a straight face. Sam stared down at his hand; he had a ring in it.

"Let's find a motel and see if we can locate her," Sam agreed.

I followed them into the car and we drove to a nearby motel. Sam didn't sleep. He kept staring at his hand and was silent. Dean refused to sleep either and I frankly thought that they were far too old for me to me to be ordering them to bed. Dean finally dozed on the bed, however, Sam stayed awake while I kept my silence.

I lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling and decided to count the tiles. Sam grew restless and began pacing the floor. I concentrated on the ceiling and then he stopped pacing. He lay next to me on the floor.

"What?" I asked.

"Can't you find her?" he asked.

"I'm not a supernatural blood hound, Sam," I rebuked.

"But you can find people," Sam turned on his side to face me.

I studied him out of the corner of my eye and pondered exactly how to answer that statement.

"Leave her alone, Sammy," Dean spoke.

I sat up on my elbows and frowned at him. "You're supposed to be asleep."

"How can I sleep with the two of you yammering away?" Dean retorted.

"Your brother's parlance is quite colorful," I winked at Sam.

"It's not going to work," Sam lay on his back with his arm supporting his head.

"What's not going to work?" I was puzzled.

Dean chuckled as he moved from off the bed and came beside us. "Sammy, thinks that we're trying to keep him from going all maudlin," Dean explained.

"Oh?" I turned my attention to Sam.  
Sam shook his head, "Dean, I think you need some sleep."

"Oh?" Dean's voice held a note of disbelief. "You're telling me that this chick you had the 'hots' for is missing and you're just _**concerned**_?"

"You're talking out of your ass," Sam scoffed.

"If you say so," Dean shrugged. "Just wait, Kelsey, it'll happen."

"You're being ridiculous," Sam disputed.

"Of course I am," Dean's voice took on a note that indicated that he didn't believe Sam.

"So," I raised my voice slightly. "Does this mean that the two of you are getting on each other's nerves already?"

"No," Sam replied.

"Your brother hasn't beaten you up for running away," I observed.

"It's okay," Dean murmured.  
"Huh," I folded my legs under me as I sat up.

"You know," Dean stared at me. "Women have a way of twisting their bodies into the strangest shapes."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sam asked.

"Look at her," Dean waved his hand at me.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean, she's not human."

"I know," Dean's voice lowered. "I'm just saying that in general women tend to do that."

"I wouldn't know about that," Sam said derisively.

"Oh," Dean argued. "So you're telling me that Jessica never did anything like that?"

Sam stared at me for a second. "Dean, the reason they can do that is because they don't have…umm…" he stopped.

"What?" Dean prodded.

"Well," Sam colored slightly. "She doesn't exactly have the same equipment."

I frowned, "Since when are you shy to speak around me?"

Sam stopped speaking.

"That's true," Dean nodded. "I mean when we did the measurements…"

I crooked an eyebrow and Sam sat forward. "Did the measurements?"

"I told you," I said.

"Measurements?" Sam shook his head. "I don't recall any information about that."

"When, she became human and we had to get clothes for her," Dean explained.

I turned my head sideways. "Sam, surely I told you that Dean bought me dental floss for underwear."

"Dental floss…" Sam's wore a puzzled expression until it cleared. He proceeded to howl with laughter.  
"Come on!" Dean grumbled.

"How did she take it?" Sam asked.

"I'm right here," I reminded them.  
"I know," Sam acknowledged. "I just need him to answer."

"She wore my boxers instead," Dean told him.

Sam threw his head back and laughed even harder. "Oh that is amusing," he tried to rein in his mirth.

"I'm glad that you found my foray into the world of humanity so amusing," I muttered.

"Come on!" Sam sobered. "It is a bit funny picturing you wearing Dean's boxers."

Dean looked at Sam, "Um…picturing her?"

Sam's eyes widened in horror, "I'm sorry," he said.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"It's a guy thing," Sam dismissed.

I nodded. "So are you two going to get some sleep?" I was curious.

"Yeah," Sam lay back and closed his eyes.  
Dean followed suit and I watched them until I realized that they were fast asleep.

I sighed and picked up Dean first and placed him in the bed and then I did the same with Sam. They were so trusting. I walked outside of the room and leaned against the Impala. I waited for Micah to appear.

"It took you long enough," I glared at him.

"We don't know where the girl was taken," Micah answered.

"What about the others?" I asked.  
"So far, none of the others have gone missing," Micah replied, "But we do know that this isn't the first time it's been done."

"You can't figure out where they hold the competition?" I gazed at the horizon.

"They wouldn't want our interference," Micah commented.

"I know," I agreed. "But they're actually managing to keep it a secret in Hell as well."

"You're worried about Sam?" Micah observed.  
"Look at you," I mocked. "The very one who wanted to save Sam?"  
"I wanted to make sure that the hunter Gordon didn't kill him," Micah became defensive.

"But it's okay for him to die in some sick competition set up by the Spawn of Hell?" I argued.

"I didn't say that," Micah disagreed.

"But it's what you meant," I said.

"You've spent too much time with humans," Micah turned away from me.

I stepped away from the car. I had no intention of destroying the car in my anger with Micah.

"There's no need to get violent," Micah said.

"You're going to let him die," I accused.

"No," Micah said.

"I thought only demons lied," I sneered.

"That was uncalled for," Micah admonished.

"Not really," I hissed. "In fact, what would you call it? Letting a child suffer the way that Sam has had to suffer?"

"It's his soul that's important," Micah reasoned. "Not his life."

"Oh?" I gasped. "Well that's so enlightening."

"You're too close to them," Micah told me.

"I recall telling you that I don't follow your orders nor Michael's," my voice was calm.

"We have to work together," Micah pleaded.

"We're not working together," I argued. "You want everything and you give nothing."

"That's not true," Micah seemed hurt.

"Oh?" I glared at him. "That deal to save Bobby? It was a trick wasn't it? A way of getting me involved with the Winchesters?"

"You met him in a bar," Micah reminded me. "We didn't push the meeting."

"But you didn't discourage it," I argued.

"You can't deny that your involvement was a perfect opportunity," Micah reasoned.

"Ah!" I exclaimed. "So you decided that the best way would be to make it seem like I was trying to protect them."

Micah became silent.

"Oh yes," I snapped. "The refuge of silence is always a safe one."

"When did you?" he stopped.

"You can tell Michael," I glared at him. "There isn't a deal."

"You have to do the deal," Micah frowned.

"Nope," I said. "I have law to back me up. I was willfully deceived."

Micah slapped his forehead. "Willful deception. I forgot about that one."

"Now," I said. "I should do what I was going to do."  
"You can't," Micah said.

"Why not?" I felt the fury rise within me.

"Because, we have to get that gate open," Micah explained.

I stared at him for a moment. "You can't possibly be serious."

"We are," Micah was solemn.

"You know what's imprisoned behind that gate. You know what it took for me to forge that gate," I argued.

"Yes," Micah nodded. "I also know what it took to get Samuel Colt to build those churches and railway lines in that specific pattern."

"So," I sighed. "What you're saying is that those things have to be unleashed?"

"It's the order," Micah said.

"The Spawn don't know this," I frowned.

"If they knew," Micah shook his head. "They'd be doing the opposite of what they're doing."

"How did they find out about..."I stopped.

"Did you really want to know the answer," Micah whispered.

"The amount of guilt that I have carried with this thing," I said.

"I know," he said.

"What do I do with them?" I asked.

"Let them do what they've doing," Micah shrugged. "All we can do is wait it out."

"And pray that they don't get killed in the meantime," I said.

"So," Micah looked at me uncomfortably. "When the time comes?"

"There is more than one way to accomplish things, Micah," I smiled. "You leave that to me."

"That's the part that has me worried," he muttered.

"Well," I shrugged. "You've always known that I'm not exactly trustworthy."

Micah vanished at that moment.

I heard the door open behind me. I turned and saw Dean frowning.  
"What is it?" I asked.  
"I thought you'd gone," he said.

"No," I smiled. "I'll stay awhile."

"Good," he stepped back to allow me into the room. Sam was still asleep. Dean lay on the next bed and was soon quickly asleep as well. I watched them until they woke.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was three weeks since Ava had disappeared. Sam and Dean had me pose as a relative of Ava's and I filed a missing person's report. Her family was in Florida and we weren't about to contact them. We attended her fiancé's funeral in the vain hope that she would have appeared. But there was no sign of her. I grew more troubled about this. Then, I caught wind of other disappearances. I kept these hidden from both of them. They would be protected for as long as I could keep them safe.

Sam sat around the table and the room was strewn with all things that were relating to Ava's disappearance. Dean remained watchful of Sam's moods. At first, I believed that Dean was simply being his normal over – protective self, however there was something just beneath the surface. Any action of Sam's that appeared unusual, he paid close attention. I finally chalked it up to the fact that Sam had disappeared on him and he was simply ensuring that his brother remained where he could see him.

"You know," Sam muttered. "If you are going to be here, you should help."

I sat up straight on the bed. "I am helping," I said.  
"Oh?" he looked at me.

"I'm keeping you company," I smiled at him.

Dean looked over at me and shook his head.

"You want me to leave?" I asked.

Sam glanced at Dean who froze at the suggestion. "It's not that."

"You're thinking that I could use other means of locating her?" I suggested.

"Something like that," Sam appeared relieved.

"I suppose," I stared at the door for a moment. "Just don't get yourselves killed."

"We would never do that," Dean assured me.

I stared at him for a moment, "Um…you two attract trouble like the moon does meteors."

"Kelsey," Sam coughed slightly. "Just who is it you've been associating with?"

"Never mind," I stood. "I know when I should leave."

"We're okay," Sam grabbed my hand.

"And I'm in the way?" I leaned forward and placed my forehead against his.

"You're the best," Sam said.

"But of course," I retorted. I straightened and Dean was in front of me. I reached up and rubbed what little hair he had on his head. "I'll be leaving now."

Dean grinned. "This is why I keep it low," he observed.

"What?" I frowned.

"My hair," Dean answered.

"I'm lost," I said.

"He was actually speaking to me," Sam replied.

"Huh?" I turned to him.

"I figured that if Dean would grow his hair it might be easier for him to hide," Sam explained.

"I see," I nodded. "It's a pity that you can't be like me."  
"We'll manage," Dean grinned.

"The two of you are quite weird," I rolled my eyes.

"So where are you headed?" Sam asked.  
"You've been asking that question since you were a child," I told him.

"And I can't recall you ever giving me an answer," Sam observed.

"Now baby boy," I purred. "Why would I ever do that?"

Dean laughed at us. "You've been good for our spirits."

"It's what I do," I said.

"With Dad gone…" Dean trailed off.

"I know," I agreed. "I miss threatening him with a shovel."

Sam placed his hand on his head and winced slightly. I frowned and Dean was suddenly alert.

"It's okay," Sam said. "I'm not having a vision. I'm recalling her threats."

"You know, Kelsey," Dean said quietly. "Aside from braining him with that book, I can't figure out why Dad was ever afraid of your temper."

"Well," I shrugged. "I did threaten him with a table once."

"Where was the table?" Sam asked.

"In my hand," I replied. "John did manage to keep quiet for a while, after that."

"When did that happen?" Dean frowned.

"The time I walked in on you without knocking," I told him.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances. I raised an eyebrow at them. "What?"  
"You and Dad had a lot of fights," Sam observed.

"Yes," I nodded.

They both wore expressions that were a mixture of disbelief and shock.

"You both know what your father was like," I said. "No one could be in close contact with John Winchester and not want to slap him upside the head at some point."  
"I never could figure that out about him," Sam shook his head.

"He was afraid of losing the people close to him," Dean said quietly.

I narrowed my gaze at Dean. I wasn't aware that he actually knew his father that well.

"What?" Dean asked. "Surprised?"

"At times," I smiled.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged.

"I'm going to leave the two of you now," I said.

"Dad never told you did he?" Sam asked.

"What?" I was puzzled.

"Of course he didn't Sam," Dean replied.

"I'm right here," I reminded them.  
"The truth about me," Sam said.

I frowned for a moment, "No."

"You wouldn't lie to me would you, Kelsey?" Sam questioned.

"Of course I wouldn't," I assured him.

His eyes showed that he didn't believe me.

"But you know," Sam probed.

"Know what?" my frown deepened.

"Sammy!" Dean hissed.

"That I might be evil," Sam said.

"Oh that!" my confusion cleared. "I don't think that you're evil."

"Not that I am," Sam explained. "But that I might be."

I stared at him and walked to where he was seated. I placed my hand under his chin and tilted his head up forcing his eyes to meet mine.

"Everyone has the capacity to be evil, Sam," I told him. "It's all a matter of choice and perspective."

"See!" Dean glared at Sam.

"Okay," Sam muttered.

"If you need me, call me," I said.

"We will," they replied.

I smiled at them and walked out the door.

I traveled down the road before I chose to stop in a nearby cemetery. I waited for I knew that one of them was close. I read the headstones and noted that the cemetery was actually quite new.

"You know that we really should pick better meeting places," Michael observed.

I turned my head sideways and raised my eyebrows.

"Face it," Michael knelt beside a headstone. "We always have these meetings in cemeteries."

"Where would you prefer?" I asked.

Michael shrugged.

"What's the matter?" I was puzzled by his words.

"Nothing," he shook his head.

"Well," I sat on the ground with my legs under me. "What's the purpose of this meeting?"

"You have to do what we ask," Michael said.

"I'm not making any deals," I shook my head.

"You may change your mind," Michael hinted.

"I doubt it," I replied.

"What are you going to do now?" he asked.

"I'm returning to Hell," I sighed. "I've got to keep John centered if you're hare – brained plan is to work."

"We can't afford a full scale war with them," he re- iterated Micah's statement.

"I've heard," I scoffed.

"I'm serious," he squinted.

"Look," I shrugged. "I understand completely. I do. I mean, it makes perfect sense to rescue one soul from Hell by unleashing an army of demons who are bent on destroying everything."

"Your way isn't any better," Michael argued.

"Well, at least my way doesn't involve human casualties," I pointed out.

Michael grimaced. "It's not my plan," he grumbled.

"No," I agreed. "I never said that it was."

Michael stared at the headstone in front of him. "Why did you pick that particular cemetery?"

"Huh?" I was puzzled by his question.

"To put the gate," he clarified.

"Oh," I thought for a moment. "It was just a good place. I mean in terms of geography and logistics."

Michael stood, "Logistics?"

"Well," I kept a close eye on him. "It was a good place to keep them out."

"And the idea for the key?" he prodded.

"That was a brilliant idea that wasn't so brilliant," I sighed.

"No," Michael stared directly into my eyes. "It was extremely brilliant. In fact, no one would have thought that the key was a gun."

"It still got a lot of innocent people killed," I said.  
Michael smiled grimly, "If it wasn't that, it would have been something else."

"Perhaps," I nodded.

"You know," Michael glanced around the cemetery. "We really need to rethink these meeting places."

I smiled at that. "I'm still not making any deals."

"I know," he smiled in return. "We'll talk soon."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes.

He disappeared from the cemetery and I followed the path to the nearest portal to Hell. It was time to check on John and to see how close my plan was to fulfillment.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The journey to Hell is not one that any should undertake lightly. It is a dismal place at times and it is often filled with lost dreams and recriminations. Those who are relegated to Hell are often subjected to despair and torment. It is even a bureaucratic nightmare for demons. They have a saying in Hell... "We invented red tape." They're not kidding. In order to get anything done, one must fill out forms in duplicate, triplicate and quadruplicate and then of course, if you fill out a particular section of a form there are other things to be done as well. In essence there are many beings in Hell who have to deal with a ton load of paperwork just to get a nail hammered in a wall.

Now, this of course worked to my advantage with John. In order for John to be moved from one holding area to the next there were endless forms to fill out, well about two hundred to be exact. So, that meant that John Winchester was not going anywhere, which suited me quite fine as I didn't really have much time to waste running all over Hell trying to figure out where they placed him. However, that didn't stop me from filing out paperwork that in essence 'lost' John in the system. The particular Spawn was not pleased when no one could say where John Winchester was placed. The bellowing screams shook Hell and of course woke up the leader of the Fallen. The result was spectacular. Unfortunately it resulted in Hell being closed down for a period of a few weeks. No one was permitted to leave Hell, and while I could actually circumvent the barrier, I opted against such action.

During the second week of lockdown in Hell, I ventured to where John was now safely hidden. Which, by the way, was exactly where the others had kept him, but we won't mention that any more. He rested against the wall with his eyes closed. The bruises had faded somewhat leaving only the injuries that had been on his face when he had died on the surface. I knelt beside him and touched his forehead. John's eyes fluttered open and he stared at me uncomprehending.  
"Right," he murmured. "I'm dead, in Hell and you're still with me."

"That sounds almost ungrateful, John," I scolded.

"I don't want to argue with you right now, Kelsey," his eyes drifted shut.

"Tough!" I punched his arm.

"Damn!" John sat forward. "What is the matter with you?"

"I've been gone a while," I told him.

John frowned, "I don't…"

"It's okay," I said. "As far as the system is concerned, you're lost."

"What?" John looked puzzled.  
"That's right," I whispered. "Focus."

"What are you saying?" John asked.

"I managed to make it look as though they lost you in a transfer," I waved around us. "That's why there are no guards here."

"So, where do they think I am?" John frowned.  
"I'm not sure," I grinned. "But they don't think you're here."

"Why?" John narrowed his gaze.

"Because transfer orders came in. But they're incomplete and no one knows if you were moved before," my grin widened.

"But," John's frown deepened. "Can't they just look and see that I'm here?"

"No," I replied.

"What are you?" John demanded.  
"You asked me that before," I said.

"I want a straight answer, this time," John's eyes were sharply in focus.

"Your sons are fine," I said.

"Don't change the subject," John warned.

"But," I feigned a hurt expression. "Don't you care what happened?"

"My boys are pretty good at taking care of themselves," John snapped.

"Yep," I nodded. "You're back."

"Kelsey," John's voice dropped in timbre.

"I'm one of the architects of Hell," I explained. "The rules of Hell can be bent to accommodate me."

"What does that mean?" John insisted.

"It means," I sighed. "That my purpose has always been to be the guardian of Hell."

"You're an angel who lives in Hell?" John asked.  
"No," I shook my head. "I am Hell."

"No one can be Hell," John's eyes clouded.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"The war wasn't supposed to happen," he guessed. "When it did. Your orders changed."

"I'm not permitted to return," I said.

"When can you go?" John looked me in the eyes. "No, never mind," he didn't want that answer.

"Well," I shrugged.

John leaned his head back against the wall he was chained. He seemed to be mulling over several things and I merely folded my legs under me and watched.

"Why help us?" he asked.

I looked at him. That was a question I had often pondered myself. I thought back to the first time I saw him in that bar. His grief and pain had called to me.

"I was drawn to you," I said.

"I wasn't out to attract anything," John winced. "Certainly nothing that was as supernatural as you turned out to be."

"It was your pain," I explained. "You were in such anguish."

"You are in Hell," John stated evenly. "Pain and anguish are around you all the time."

"That's different," I said.

"How?" John's face reflected his confusion and pain.

"Your life had been torn apart by forces beyond your control," I told him. "It's not that you willingly and purposely set out to destroy it. It sort of just happened."

"But I didn't deal with it very well, did I?" John muttered.

I moved from where I was seated so that I could place my hand on his face. I rubbed his cheek with the back of my hand and he closed his eyes.

"I must really be in a bad state, to warrant this from you," he murmured.

"Well," I replied. "You're a bit on the pathetic side at the moment."

His mouth curved into a small smile. "You still haven't answered my question."

"You're worse than a hellhound with a soul," I grumbled.

"I've never heard that expression before," John observed.

"Of course not!" I exclaimed. "It's only here that we say it."

"I see," John nodded.

"John," I became quite serious. "You should understand something."

"What?" he asked.

"Your reaction was the best one," I said. "Sam's in danger. He was always in danger from the start. Your instinct told you that there was something else going on. Something that was more damaging to your family than the loss of your wife."

"But what about what I did to Dean?" John lowered his gaze.

"Well," I shrugged. "You're human. But you didn't give up your life and your soul so that Sammy would live. You did it for Dean."

"Because I knew that he was better for the job," John told me.

"Stop lying," I said.

John's head snapped up.

"We are in Hell, John," I berated. "Can't you for once admit the truth?"

"The truth?" John whispered. "Does the truth matter?"

"Of course it matters," I cried. "You have to let it go, John."

"I loved my wife," he said.

"And?" I pressed.

"I didn't really think about giving up my life for Dean," John said.

"You didn't?" I waited for him to finish.

"I didn't really discuss it. I simply…" he trailed off.

"Was very stubborn about it," I finished.

"Yes," John nodded. "I love him. I love them both. They need to know that."

"They do," I assured him.

"I don't think that they do," John shook his head.

"Yes," I told him.

John frowned. "Why wouldn't they be all right?"

"Um…you're dead?" I raised my eyebrows.

"There's something else that's going on," John fixed me with a hard stare.

"Apparently, Dean's wanted for at least one murder," I said.

"Who did he murder?" John asked.

"It wasn't him," I explained. "It was a shape shifter."

John swore under his breath. "Are they below the radar?"

"As far as I know they've been staying off the grid," I nodded. "Of course they're now on the FBI's most wanted…so…"

"Damn it, Kelsey!" John spat. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "They lost their father. They're facing a whole problem where Sam may turn into some kind of a monster. It's a lot for them to deal with."

"I see," John said.

"Yes," I insisted.

"I'm not saying, no," John replied.

"So, what are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying. How did that happen?" John said pointedly.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "They were helping some friend of Sam's and the shape shifter impersonated Dean, and well did a lot of very bad things."

"No," John shook his head.

"What?" I was completely confused.

"How did they get caught in the first place?" he asked.

"They did," I shrugged.

John sighed, "Well, at times it can't be helped I suppose."

"No," I agreed. "At times it can't be helped."

John shot me a wry look. "You have no clue what I'm talking about."

"I rarely do, John," I admitted.

He chuckled. "So, what's the plan for getting me out of here?"

I stared straight into his eyes. "Well," I hesitated, "I'm not the one who came up with the plan."

"Who did?" John frowned.

"Oh," I smiled uncomfortably. "That would be an archangel named Michael."

"What?" John appeared stunned.

"Yep," I nodded.

"You look nervous," he studied me carefully.

"Well," I shrugged. "It's Michael. It's better if I don't tell you."

"Kelsey?" John growled.

"Look," I sat back on my heels. "The truth is he's brilliant with battle plans and other stuff."

"You don't like the plan," John deduced.

"Well," I wrinkled my brow. "I don't ever like any of their plans. So I shouldn't be the one to go by."

"Kelsey?" his voice dropped even lower.

"How well did you know your wife?" I asked.

"Mary?" John frowned. "What does she have to do with any of this?"

"That is the question," I nodded.

"Kelsey," John's irritation became more obvious with each word. "You are making even less sense than usual."

"Hey!" I protested.

"Darling, you tell me what you know," he snarled.

"I told you to watch your tone with me," I warned.

"Oh no," John shook his head. "You're not going on that old thing. I'm dead. I'm in Hell. You're not likely to do me any more harm than I've already been through. So spill it!"

"Even dead, you're bossy," I muttered.

"Kelsey?" John's tone left very little room for argument.

"Fine," I huffed. "I don't know. All I know is that a part of this has to do with Mary. She decided to fight the demon when he came into Sammy's nursery. I always chalked it up to instinct, except it was something that Micah said to me that made me realize otherwise."

"Mary always told Dean that angels watched over him," John murmured.

"Well she was right," I replied.

"No, Kelsey," John shook his head. "Mary said it with more conviction than the average person. She knew something."

"It'll sort itself out, John," I said. "Now, when it's time for the plan. I'm going to hand you over to Michael."

"Why?" John was puzzled.

"Because, that's the plan," I said.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I will confess that having conversations with John Winchester have always been tiring. Now that he no longer had either Sam or Dean to distract him, he needed to focus on getting his thoughts and keeping his mind intact. This was made easier by the fact that his location was unknown to the demons that were intent on tracking him. I left him in the enclosure. I had briefly contemplated releasing him from the shackles, however I remembered who John Winchester was and simply opted to keep things safe. John Winchester loose in Hell was not something I was prepared to deal with at that moment.

I returned to my desk at the newsletter and checked the reports of the activity on the surface. There was a rash of disappearances and I realized that these were others like Sam. No one knew the exact location of the tests but the Spawn was ecstatic about the progress that was being made. I managed to deduce that he was waiting until they were down to the final set before he grabbed Sam Winchester. That gave me a measure of hope and yet I was still filled dread. It meant that he wasn't ready to risk Sam in a fight. It meant that Sam Winchester was special to him and I didn't like that thought at all.

I began my search in earnest. I checked in with low-level intelligence gathers. These were the types who liked to skulk on the surface and often found ways to blend in with humans as tabloid reporters and paparazzi. No one paid attention to them and they were able to find information that others would rather they didn't. Yet I was without success. This was a trend that disturbed me. Hell is not known for keeping secrets, which meant that only the Spawn actually knew the plan and location.

I checked in with John to ensure that no one managed to locate him. He was becoming more himself with each passing day. I sat across from him a few days after our last discussion.

"So," he said. "Are you going to unchain me?"

"No," I answered.

"I never expected this of you," he smiled mischievously.

"What?" I was wary of John in a seemingly mischievous mood.

"Well," he shrugged. "You have me chained to a wall. You can pretty much do what you want."

I frowned at him. "Are you suggesting that I'm going to torture you?"

"No," he shook his head. "Never mind. It'll take too long to explain."

"Okay," I acquiesced.

"You're giving up too easy," he observed.

"I'm not giving up," I argued. "Wait a minute. What am I giving up?"

"I don't want to argue with you," John murmured. "Can't you unchain me?"

"No," I shook my head. "I don't trust you."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "You don't trust me?"

"Nope," I stared straight into his eyes. "You will leave and cause trouble. Besides, they don't know where you are."

"I'll behave," John assured me.

"Yes," I agreed. "You'll behave the way that you normally do."

"Kelsey," John smirked. "I think you like having me chained up."

"You're dead, John," I replied. "But that doesn't mean that I won't torture you."

John's smile widened. "I don't think that you'll do that."

"Wanna bet?" I leaned close to him.

John's eyes reflected his doubt. Perhaps he recalled the time I struck him with the book. "I'll be good," he muttered.

"Good," I patted his cheek.

I stood and left him where he was safe. I walked slowly through the various corridors of Hell. I paid attention to the various notices that had various sections closed. I checked in on a couple of the sections and saw that there was no work being done. Maintenance was simply tormenting the denizens of Hell. I suspected that even demons needed a hobby.

I felt a tingling on my senses and I frowned. Someone was calling me. Something was wrong. I focused and realized that Dean was screaming my name. I quickly checked that the barrier had been lifted and moved to where Dean was located. I found him in a motel room with his head in his hands.

"Dean?" I placed my hand on his shoulder.

He jumped at the touch of my hand.

"Kelsey!" he cried.

"You called?" I asked.

Dean stared at me blankly.

"What happened?" I sat beside him.

"Sam's missing," he said.

I was surprised. "You had another fight?"

"No," Dean shook his head. "It wasn't like that. He went for burgers and then never came back. He's been gone for about six days now. I can't find him anywhere. No one knows where he is." Dean looked frightened and quite worried.

"Sam didn't run off again?" I wondered.

"No," Dean shook his head. "He wouldn't. We were fine."

I frowned at him. There was a note of hesitation in his voice. There was something that he wasn't telling me.

"Spill it," I said.

"Spill what?" Dean narrowed his eyes at me.

"I want to know what happened," I said. "I want to know what you're not telling me. What happened after I left you?"

Dean stared at the floor for a moment. "After you left, we continued to search for Ava. We weren't getting anywhere, when Sam got a call from Ellen telling him of a job in Connecticut."

"What kind of job?" I questioned.  
"It was a series of suspicious deaths," he told me. "It turned out that the spirit of a little girl was haunting the place. Anyway somehow it was resolved."

"Somehow?" I was curious.

"We don't know how it was resolved, but the haunting stopped and that was good enough for us," Dean shrugged.

"The ghosts of children are notoriously difficult," I commented.

"Yeah," Dean grunted. "Tell me about it."

I studied him for a moment. "What happened after that?"  
"We then caught wind of some robberies in Milwaukee," Dean appeared uncomfortable.

I had a sense of foreboding that Milwaukee didn't go according to expectations.

"What happened?" I pressed.

"It turned out to be a shape – shifter," Dean grimaced.

"And?" I sat up straighter.

"Well," Dean stared hard at the floor.

"Dean!" my voice took on a harsh note.

"I ended up on the 11 o'clock news for bank robbery and murder," Dean stole a look at me.

I raised my eyes to the ceiling and slapped my forehead. "Dean!" I couldn't believe it.

"It wasn't supposed to be that way," Dean quickly explained. "It just sort of happened."

"The rest of it," I exhaled.

"We caught the attention of a special FBI task force," Dean threw himself onto his back. "I know we're completely screwed. That's why we came off the grid."

"How much does this special agent know?" I asked.

"He knows about how Dad moved us around. He thinks that we're some white power militia type deal," Dean sniffed.

"Well," I shrugged. "That's better than the truth."

"We're not like that," Dean propped himself up on his elbows.

"I know," I said pointedly. "The thing is that humans look for rational explanations. Hunting supernatural entities is not something that will occur to them."

"Yeah," he relented.

"So what happened in that bank?" I asked.

"Sam got the drop on the SWAT guys and we took two of their uniforms and escaped the bank," Dean shrugged. "Then we ended up in Providence Rhode Island."

"What happened there?" I was intrigued.

"That was interesting," Dean said.

I struck his leg and he winced. "Stop being a baby, I didn't hit you that hard," I admonished.

"You're cranky," Dean observed.

"And you're in a whole lot of trouble," I reminded him.

"Well, you see," Dean said, "There's no way Sam would run."

"I understand," I nodded.

"Well, there was a series of holy murders," Dean said.

I raised an eyebrow, "What the…"

"I know," Dean interjected. "It made no sense, but there was this chick and she claimed that an angel told her to murder this dude."

"But no angel would do that," I was puzzled.

"It turned out that it was a restless spirit. A dead priest who was appearing to these people to punish the _**evil ones**_," Dean expounded. "In fact, we had to put his spirit to rest."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad," I mused. "So what are you still leaving out?"

"Nothing gets by you does it?" Dean frowned.

"Nope," I agreed.

"It happened in Connecticut at first," Dean sighed. "We were there when this guy was killed and Sam got drunk and made me promise to kill him if he turned evil."

"That's not good," the feeling of foreboding returned. "And?"

"He remembered," Dean shook his head. "Then in Rhode Island that same spirit appeared to Sam and wanted Sam to kill someone."

"Sam didn't…" I couldn't finish the thought.

"No," Dean lay back on the bed. "I sent him to summon the spirit. But after everything was over, it was like Sammy lost something."

"Faith is a hard thing Dean," I said.

"He believed that it was an angel," Dean scoffed.

"You don't believe in angels," I stated.

"I don't know what I believe anymore," Dean said.

"What do you mean?" I was curious.

"Well," Dean stared at the ceiling. "That guy Sammy was supposed to kill. He died in a freak accident. I was chasing him. And this piece of metal pipe fell off a truck and ran him through. He was a bad guy Kelsey."

"I've no doubt," I said.

"Kelsey," Dean sat up. "We have to find Sammy."

"I know," I rubbed his cheek. "I just can't sense him at all."

"That's what I was afraid of," Dean muttered.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

I spent the next day with Dean combing the different places that Sam could have gone. We came up empty. Dean kept ringing Sam's cell but there was no answer. Bobby had feelers out trying to locate Sam. I was particularly worried because I knew that it wasn't time for him to be tested. There was something that was amiss. I couldn't sense if Sam was alive or dead. It was as though Sam Winchester was completely gone and there was no trace of him.

I kept this information from Dean, of course. There was no need to add to his ever-growing panic. He became desperate and frantic with each passing day and I shared in it. I became convinced that Sam had to be possessed. If he were possessed then that meant that there was something else in control. In which case Sam was busy doing things that we wouldn't expect him to do. We had no choice but to wait.

I decided to separate from Dean, as it would be far more efficient for me to search for Sam without him. Dean reluctantly agreed to my leaving, I couldn't blame him, for it helped having someone along to help with the search. But there were things that I couldn't do with a human hunter in tow. It didn't matter how knowledgeable he was, there was no way he was going to be _**that**_ open – minded. I left Dean after two days by and by that time Sam had been missing for a total of eight days.

I began in what we in Hell referred to as the Low District, which is that section of any city that the average person fears to tread. I had no need to fear, as I was well known by the inhabitants of this particular section. I searched for a friendly face and found it after a day and a half in the person of Rube. He had the appearance of an old drunk although he was almost as old as I was.

"What brings you down here?" he asked when he saw me staring at him.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" I returned evenly.

"Sure," Rube nodded. "I'd know you anywhere. Even with that female guise you're wearing."

I smiled at him.

"What's up?" he indicated that we should walk.

"I'm looking for a human," I said.

"Humans are plenty," Rube commented dryly.

"I know," I chuckled. "This particular one is Sam Winchester."

Rube stopped in his tracks and turned to me. He wore a troubled expression.

"You've seen him?" I frowned.

"He's possessed," Rube said.

"I figured as much," I nodded. "That's why I can't sense him at all. But I can't figure out who would do it."

"Oh," Rube coughed. "The one who is possessing him, well, she's a real nasty piece of work."

"You've run into her?" I was curious.

Rube nodded. "The things she's got him doing. That boy, he ain't gonna be straight for a while."

"He's one of those that the Spawn bonded," I frowned. "There's a plan in place for him."

"Well," Rube fixed me with a hard stare, "I don't think she's with the program."

"Where did you last see him?" I asked.

"It was about two days ago," Rube scratched his chin, "He was looking into a local hunter named Wendell I think."

"Anything I can do for you?" I asked. There was always a price for getting information.

Rube thought for a moment. "Yeah," he nodded.

"What?" I asked.

"Come with me," he jerked his head in the other direction.

I followed him down a series of back alleys. He walked to the nearest store and stood across the street from it.

"I know that there's a limit to what you can do," Rube said.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"The girl behind the counter," he nodded. "She's got a sick kid. She's in a dead end job and well, she's kind to an old drunk."

"So?" I pressed him.

"The kid's got cancer. She's working all kinds of crazy hours to make the treatments, but…" he trailed off.

"When's the next treatment?" I asked.

"It's tonight," Rube stared at me. "You have the ability to help. It's not outside of the rules in this case."

I smiled at him. "Are you saying that you checked?"

"I spoke with a Reaper at the hospital," Rube's eyes returned to the girl. "He said that the kid's not on the list. If she can't pay for the treatment then the kid will die."

"What did he suggest?" I asked.

"He suggested that I find an angel who could heal," Rube kept his averted.

"Rube," I whispered.

"You can resurrect. You can heal," Rube said. "Come on, I gave you the info and you didn't ask up front the cost. It's not outside the rules."

I considered what he said for the moment. He was right, I hadn't asked for the price of doing business with him. I shrugged.

"Take me to the hospital," I acquiesced.

Rube grinned at me. I followed him to the hospital where the child lay in the bed asleep. The doctors had decided to go ahead with the treatment and I saw the Reaper hovering nearby. He nodded his assent, which puzzled me, for Reapers were notorious for their impartiality. I decided that it must have been Rube's desire to help this mother and child that had turned him around. The doctors would believe that the treatment had pushed the cancer into remission. I nodded to them.

I placed my hands over the child's mouth and felt his breath. He had a strong will to live and I focused all my energy on him. I felt the surge of power through the physical form I held and the child's body jerked in response. I sensed when the cancer stopped in its tracks and the child's body began to heal. Rube grabbed me and took me from the hospital room to across the street to a park bench. He waited while I recovered my strength.

"Thank you," he said.

I looked up at him. "Why these two?" I was curious.

Rube stared into the distance and appeared lost in thought. "I walked up to her and asked if she had any change," he chuckled. "She dug into her pocket and gave me her last dollar."

I nodded for that kind of gesture was rare indeed. It had been enough to make him curious about her.

"I knew where she worked," Rube told me. "I'd seen her before. She's a brave girl."

"Her son is young," I said.

"She was 16 when he was born," he said. "She got kicked out of her house. Now that the baby's sick she's got nowhere to go."

"Wouldn't it be better?" I stopped.

"I thought so at first," Rube looked me in the eyes. "But, I saw how much that child has pushed her. She's got her G.E.D. She's trying to get a better job."

"Well," I smiled. "She's got an angel looking out for her now."

"I don't know about that," Rube said.

"I think so," I countered.

Rube nodded. "Look, about that boy, Sam. He's in a world of trouble."

"I know," I agreed.

"Are the others going to stop it?" Rube asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"Are they nuts?" he exclaimed.

"I wonder about that myself," I murmured. "The truth is that they have a plan."

"Surely," Rube frowned. "It's better to leave those particular ones locked up."

"I have always believed that it was wiser to do so," I commented. "However, we are to obey."

"Obedience sucks," Rube said.

"That's why you're here," I smiled.

"Well," Rube nodded. "Thanks for the help."

"Thanks for the information," I told him.

"You didn't have to help me," he said.

"It was okay," I smiled. "Some times we're allowed to do things."

Rube's face clouded. "I don't understand."

"If it wasn't okay," I replied. "I would have been stopped."

Rube started at that piece of information. "They were willing for the child to be healed?"

"Of course," I said.

"Why?" he sounded puzzled.

"I don't think that…" I stopped.

"What?" Rube prodded.

"I'm not sure," I said. "It's just a thought I've been having."

"Free Will?" he guessed.

"Well, it's a bitch all right," I grinned.

"You've been hanging around humans too long," Rube murmured.

"Look who's talking," I retorted.

"I haven't a bead on where Sam went," Rube said.

"You gave me a name to start with," I said. "That'll be enough."

We parted company and I walked towards the nearest phone booth. I heard a ringing come from my jacket pocket. I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Dean to ensure that I had a phone with me.

"Yes Dean," I answered.

"Sam just called me," he said.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"He's in some motel," Dean sounded as though he was speaking while driving his car. "I'm headed there now."

"So you're going to meet him?" I pressed.

"Yes," Dean's voice sounded odd.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know," Dean replied. "He sounded scared. I'll call you when I know more."

"I'll wait for the call," I said.

"Okay," he ended the call.

I concentrated and sensed where he was headed. I made myself not visible and waited at the motel. I wanted a sense of Sam before Dean got there. I saw that Rube was correct. Sam was possessed and I knew who was in possession of him. Dean came around the corner and all I could do was wait, for there was no time to warn him.


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I made certain that I stayed outside of the room. I didn't want the Spawn's child, who I had known to be Meg to be aware of my presence. It might push her into killing Dean and I wanted to know what her plan was. I knew from my sources in Hell that she was no longer on her father's side. She wanted to revenge against the Winchester brothers and didn't care about the whole thing of World domination. Rube had no idea how right he had been about Sam being in serious trouble.

I followed them from a distance as Dean retraced Sam's steps. They finally ended up at Wendell's house. Meg had used Sam to murder him. I could sense Dean's fear and I also could sense that Meg was toying with Dean's emotions. Dean smashed the surveillance equipment and the recording of the murder. I waited until they were gone to enter the house. I stood in the center of the room and everywhere I could detect a trace of Sam I erased it. I then sent a burst of energy through the wiring and the computer system in the house. There would be no way for anyone to find out what was done. I knew hunters. They wouldn't stop to think that Sam had been possessed. They would simply kill him.

I walked out of the room and headed back to the motel. I noticed that the car was gone. I frowned. Then I heard the phone ringing.

"Yes?" I answered.

"He's gone," Dean said.

"I see," I said.

"No," Dean sounded nervous. "He knocked me unconscious when I wouldn't kill him."  
I closed my eyes. That was her plan. She was trying to get Dean to kill his brother. Well, I had to hand it to her for she was certainly making a good attempt at derailing her father's plans.

"Are you sure that he's okay?" I asked.

"It's like he's not himself," Dean said.

"What do your instincts tell you?" I asked.

"I should get some holy water and track his phone," Dean announced.

"That sounds like a plan," I agreed.

"Kelsey," Dean breathed.

"What?" I frowned.

"Sam, he uh," Dean couldn't finish the sentence.

"It wasn't him," I said. "Sam wouldn't do anything that this thing made him do."

"Is he possessed?" he asked.

"I don't know," I lied. "You are the one with him. What do you think?"

"I think I need to be sure," Dean said.

"Holy water and track his phone," I said.

"Yep," Dean agreed. "I got his location. I'm headed there now."

"Good," I said.

"Are you going to meet me?" Dean asked.

"I think I'll meet you later," I said.

"Okay," Dean sounded concerned. But he didn't press me any further. We ended the conversation.

I headed to Bobby's. If Dean didn't succeed in getting the demon out of Sam and I doubted that he would, there was one place she would head. Bobby had been instrumental in exorcising her in the first place. Wendell was just the warm up and Bobby wouldn't suspect Sam of not being himself. I knocked on the door and waited for Bobby to open it.

"Kelsey?" Bobby frowned.

"Hi Bobby," I smiled.

"Why the hell are you knocking?" he asked.

I couldn't help it. My smile widened into a grin at his choice of words.

"Something funny, darling?" he stood aside so that I could enter.

"Hmm," I murmured. "Word choice, Bobby."

"I see," he shook his head. "You're going to have to explain that one to me."

"I don't have much time," I said.

"Okay," Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"You still have that holy water laced beer?" I quickly got to the point.

"Kelsey?" Bobby appeared puzzled.

"You're going to need it," I told him.

"Why would I need it?" he asked.

"Sam's possessed and he's headed here," I said.

Bobby flinched at the news. "Sam's possessed?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Dean should be getting confirmation if he's not dead yet."

"Kelsey, you're worrying me," Bobby's frown deepened.

"We have to act fast," I said.

"So you're going to be here?" Bobby enquired.

"No," I shook my head. "If I'm here, it'll know and then we'll never get it out of Sam."

"We'll work together," Bobby said.  
"No," I insisted. "This is something that you have to do on your own."

"Kelsey?" Bobby grabbed my hand.

"I can't stay, Bobby," I told him. "I'll come back when it's over."

"You're trusting us to do this," Bobby nodded.

"Who else can do it?" I demanded.

"True," Bobby agreed.

"I'll come back when it's done," I repeated.

"Fine," Bobby nodded. "Um, should I spike it extra. I mean…"

I understood what he meant. "No, this isn't like the one that possessed John. This is susceptible to holy water," I assured him.

"Well," Bobby rubbed his chin, "That's good to know."

I walked out the door and stayed in one of the broken cars to wait.

The wait seemed to take forever in my view and I was uncharacteristically nervous. I couldn't explain to Bobby that I didn't want to be in the same room as Meg. She was not on board with any of the plans and she was angry enough to tell them what was truly afoot. I couldn't afford for any of them to know the truth. She would be cautious in revealing her father's plan. I doubted that she wanted to tangle with him, but her jaunt could be used to push Sam further along and that disturbed me greatly. Yet, I had my orders and indeed I had been permitted to heal that child as a consolation of sorts it would seem.

I saw when the car approached and I kept myself carefully hidden from view. I watched as Meg wore Sam with ease. The phone wires were cut which gave me a measure of hope that Dean wasn't completely incapacitated. I watched while Bobby admitted Sam into the house and then after a few minutes Bobby opened the door and looked outside. I emerged from the car and walked towards him.

"I didn't think you were far away," Bobby grinned.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing," Bobby shrugged. "I'm an old con man remember? Nothing much gets by me."

"I see," I chuckled. "So all tied up then?"

"In the middle of a Devil's trap. That should keep the damn thing stable until Dean shows up," Bobby said.

I nodded in agreement and then heard a car in the distance. I saw Dean drive slowly into the yard. He turned off the engine and got out of the car.

"Bobby!" Dean called to him. He frowned at me.  
"It's okay," Bobby greeted him. "Kelsey gave me the heads up."

"Yeah," Dean walked up to us.

I stared at him for a moment. "What happened?"

"Whatever's possessing him, tried to get me to kill him," Dean muttered.

"Well," I shrugged. "It was bound to happen."

Dean narrowed his gaze at me.

"Look," I said, "We know that demons are bent on mischief."

"But to get Dean to kill Sam," Bobby argued.

"Do you understand demons?" I asked.

"No," they both said.

"Exactly," I looked toward the house. "So, you ready to exorcise that thing out of your brother?"

"You coming inside?" Bobby asked.

"Nope," I smiled. "The last time I was present at an exorcism it wasn't pleasant."

"What did they try to do? Exorcise you?" Bobby grinned.  
"How did you know?" I mocked.  
Dean stared at the two of us, "Glad that you're finding this so amusing."

"You're not going to get through this," I said.

"I will," Dean countered.

"Fine," I nodded.

They went inside the house and I remained outside.

I heard screams and Latin incantations and then Bobby's shouts. I got inside just as the demon left Sam. Sam stared at Dean in shock and asked, "What happened?"

Dean's response was to punch Sam in the face. I didn't object at that point.

Bobby glared at me. "The damn thing locked herself into Sam!" he shouted.

"Why are you shouting at me? I didn't know that," I said defensively.

"I know," Bobby argued, "It's just there's no one else to shout at!"

I turned my head sideways as Sam rubbed his jaw where Dean had struck him.

Dean groaned, "I think that bitch hurt my wound."

I stared at Dean, "What wound?"

"From when I was shot," Dean grunted.

I frowned, "When did that happen?"

"Well, Sam is the one who shot me," Dean grimaced.

Sam looked horrified.

"That's the second time Sammy," Dean muttered. "Keep it up and I'll think you really want to kill me."

"There was a first time?" I squeaked.

"Yeah," Sam said. "But that was with rock salt."

"And the handgun," Dean interjected.

"The gun was empty," Sam countered.

"You still pulled the trigger," Dean said.

Sam opened his mouth to argue further.

"Enough!" Bobby roared. "Damn it! We got a lot to deal with here. Meg's on the loose."

"She's not liable to cause any more trouble," Dean grunted.

"Well, I'd rather not take your word for it," Bobby bit out. "Kelsey, I'm going to need your help."

I raised an eyebrow and followed him out the room.

He handed me two medallions. I stared at them for a second.

"What?" I asked.

"Make them into charms so that the boys can't be possessed," Bobby said.

I nodded in agreement. I closed my eyes and molded the metal in the medallions into anti – possession charms. Bobby took them from me and walked back into the room. I perched on the back of the chair while Bobby spoke to them. He knew about Wendell. He warned the boys to be careful. They stood and looked at me.

"Go ahead," I said. "You two need to get this out of your system before I turn up again."

Sam smirked and Dean nodded.

Bobby gave them the charms that I made and they walked out the door. I turned to leave and Bobby's hand arrested me.

"Kelsey," he said. "You've got to explain this."

"I can't Bobby," I replied gently.

"Those two," Bobby stared at the closed door.

"No one will find any evidence of what that demon did while she possessed Sam," I told him.

Bobby's eyes clouded and then cleared. He nodded at me. I smiled briefly and walked to the door.

"They're going to need you Bobby," I said.

"They're going to need you too," he returned evenly.

"Perhaps," I shrugged. "Perhaps."

I walked out the door and returned to Hell. I immediately went to where John Winchester was kept. No one had managed to locate him and of course I thought to let some butterflies into Hell to frighten the denizens. They still had no idea where John was and I was glad of that. But Meg had not been returned to Hell and I grew troubled by the whole event. I sat across from John and allowed him to continue sleeping.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

I watched John sleep for a while and then he stirred. He frowned as he opened his eyes.  
"Kelsey," he whispered.

"I'm right here," I said.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"The plan is proceeding and the boys are getting ready," I said.

"I want to see my boys again," John whispered.

"You will," I told him. "Now go back to sleep."

He complied and I left him under a screen of concealment. It was the best way to ensure that the others didn't find him. Of course they were busy tearing Hell apart but as long as they didn't find him, I was perfectly happy with that. The place needed renovating in any case so it was for the best.

I returned to my desk and tracked the changes in Hell. I noticed a scroll sitting on my desk. I found this rather unusual. I read the message and quickly made my way to the surface. I entered the churchyard quietly and looked around to ensure that no people were nearby. I saw him waiting by the pillar.

"You were serious about changing the meeting place," I said.

"I had to do it this way," Michael told me.

"What's going on?" I frowned.

"Sam Winchester was possessed," he grated.

"And the demon has been exorcised," I pointed out.

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place," he muttered.

"It's not like that there is a precedence for that is there," I mocked.

"That's not…" Michael stopped.

"As I said to someone else recently, free will is a bitch," I smiled.

"So now what?" Michael asked.

"It's your plan," I reminded him.

"You hate the plan," Michael pointed out.

"Yes," I agreed, "But then as I told you before. I hate all your plans."

Michael shook his head. "We're going to proceed."

"Any progress on finding the others?" I asked.

"No," he looked grim. "We've tried everything but there is no way we can track them."

"It's the bonding," I said.

Michael said nothing.

"So if you're done," I jerked my head in the direction of the gate.

"Go," he said. "We'll be in touch."

"Of course," I said sweetly.

I watched as he walked into the church and vanished. I sighed, things were so much simpler before I decided to be brilliant.

I walked some distance and stopped in the cemetery. I liked cemeteries. They were quiet and often peaceful. I shook my head at that thought and perched on a headstone. I sensed when Micah appeared. I looked over at him and said nothing.

"You can't ignore me," Micah said.

"I can try," I replied.

"The plan will work," he said.

I raised an eyebrow at that, "It was a close thing when Sam was possessed."

"That was almost a disaster," he nodded. "I was actually afraid that Dean would kill him."

"And what if he had managed to kill his brother?" I asked.

Micah remained silent. He stared at the night sky, "John is managing in Hell?"

"He's retained his consciousness," I told him.

"How's the torture working?" Micah asked.

"It's not," I replied.

"Huh?" Micah's gaze met mine.

"I hid him from them," I shrugged.

"You can do that?" Micah couldn't keep the wonder out of his voice.

I shook my head, "My goodness, Micah. A girl might feel offended by your lack of faith."

Micah stood straighter, "No."

"No what?" I was curious.

"I don't doubt your ability," he paused as though he was grasping for words. "It's just that I didn't think that…"

"It's okay," I smiled at his discomfiture.

"You spend too much time with those demons in Hell," Micah muttered.

I laughed at him. "Really? I thought it was far too much time with humans."

Micah shook his head. "I know that you're worried now."

"Now?" I scoffed.

"It'll work out," he said.

"Sure," I nodded. "Unleash the apocalypse on human kind because y'all don't want to fight them."

"We're not afraid of a fight," Micah shook his head.

"It looks like it from here," I retorted.

Micah stared at me for a moment. He seemed to be considering what he should say next.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"We're trying to get you to reconsider," Micah smiled.

"I'm not reconsidering," I shook my head. "I'll do what I feel that I should do."

"You have your orders," Micah pointed out.

"But they don't say how to carry them out," I smiled sweetly.

Micah's mouth fell open as he struggled for words. I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to leave.

I frowned for a moment and then decided to return to Bobby's. The place was quite and I realized that no one was home. I was puzzled by the absence and then shrugged for at some point Bobby had to travel for his hunts. I sat on the steps and waited for sunrise. I heard two vehicles approach and stop. I looked and saw that Bobby was in his pickup with Sam and Dean in the Impala behind him. They stared at me seated on the steps and remained in the vehicles. I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to the sky.

The doors opened and slammed shut and the three of them walked cautiously to the house. I dropped my gaze and noted that they seemed extremely worried.

"What?" I demanded.

Bobby stopped and turned to the boys. Sam scratched his head and Dean shrugged.

"Did something go wrong?" I asked.

Bobby frowned at me, "Kelsey?"

"What's the matter?" I was losing patience with them. "Don't you recognize me?"

"No," Sam stepped forward. "What's with the get up?"

"What?" I looked down at my clothes. There was nothing wrong with my clothes; they were perfect for where I had been.

"Kelsey," Dean knelt in front of me and placed his hands on my knee.

I stared at his hand and frowned for a moment. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

"You don't look like yourself," Dean replied.

I stood throwing Dean off guard and he fought for his balance. I stomped up the stairs and opened the door so that I could find a mirror. I stopped in front of a bookcase where I could see my reflection. I stared at my clothes for a moment and thought of how I normally appeared. I shook my hair and my clothes changed in that instant. I returned outside.

"Is this better?" I demanded.

Bobby's face appeared apprehensive, "Yes," he mumbled. Sam and Dean nodded quickly.

"Ugh!" I cried and returned to the inside of the house where I promptly perched atop the nearest chair.

They entered the house cautiously. Sam and Dean walked slowly towards me and sat in the sofa across from me. Bobby closed the door.

"Um," Bobby coughed discretely. "Thank you for not destroying the door."

"Are you all high?" I asked.

Dean scrunched his face and Sam laughed.

"Well," Bobby sat heavily in a chair close to us. "To tell you the truth. After that last deal with a Trickster, it's a wonder that our brains still work."

I sat up straighter, "What Trickster?"

"It's okay," Dean grinned. "We killed him."

"Yep," Sam nodded.

"I helped," Bobby chimed in.

"How?" I was curious.

"I staked him," Dean nodded.

I raised an eyebrow. "Staked him, huh," I replied.

"Yes ma'am," Sam grinned.

"Ma'am?" I narrowed my gaze at him.

"Look," Bobby groaned. "We just ran for the hills and got out of there. So if you don't mind, we'll get some shut eye."

Sam and Dean leaned back in the sofa and were asleep in seconds. Bobby chuckled.

"They've been through the ringer," he told me. "In fact, I swear they were arguing like an old married couple."

"Married couples can get divorced," I said quietly.

"Funny," Bobby looked amused. "That's exactly what Dean said."

I rolled my eyes. "It's okay," I grumbled. "Dean did accuse me of being responsible for them."

Bobby chuckled heartily. "I'm going to bed." He rose and stumbled towards his room.

I watched them sleep in the sofa and sighed heavily. I hopped off the chair and picked up Sam and carried him to the next room. Once I had him settled on the bed, I fetched Dean. I sat on the windowsill and stared outside. They had killed a Trickster? I found that quite unbelievable. I saw a shadow outside the house and went to investigate. I appeared in front of a strange man eating a candy bar.

"They think you're dead," I told him, for I had guessed he had to be the Trickster.

"They're good boys," he said.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I just wanted…" he shrugged and grinned.

I smiled in return and flexed the muscles in my body. I spread my wings and wore my full armor. His eyes widened in terror as he stepped back. My smile widened into a grin.

"I'll make sure that I never cross paths with them again," he whispered.

"Good idea," I told him.

He quickly vanished and I returned to my normal form. I returned inside and waited.


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

The next morning they woke to the smell of breakfast cooking. Bobby entered the kitchen first and studied me in silence.  
"What is it Bobby?" I asked.

"There's something you're not telling me," he said.

"I seem to recall us having this conversation already," I countered.

"You don't ever answer," Bobby accused.

"That's not true," I replied. "I tell you things. I may not tell you what you want to know, but I tell you things."

"Honestly, Kelsey," Bobby made himself a cup of coffee.

Sam came into the kitchen with Dean trailing behind him.

"Huh?" he said.  
"Sam, sweetie," I teased. "I thought you had outgrown that."

Dean leaned against the counter, "What is it that he's supposed to have outgrown?"  
"Entering a room and expecting everyone to figure out what he wants to say," I answered.

Sam sighed. "Okay, how did Dean and me end up in the room?"

"You sleepwalked?" I suggested.

"Both of us?" Sam sounded skeptical.

"Sam," Dean said, "It's obvious that she put us to bed."

"She's not that strong," Sam argued.

"She's not human," Dean countered.

"What is she?" Sam demanded.

"Um," I interrupted the argument. "She is here."

Bobby shook his head. "Boys, she's not been answering that question since the two of you were babies. She's not likely to start now."

I squinted at Bobby for a moment. I knew that he was lying to them because he had guessed what I really was. "He's right."

Sam leaned against the table.

"Why do you want to know the answer?" I was curious.

"It's just that," Sam shook his head.

"You know how Dad raised us, Kelsey," Dean explained.

"To destroy all things that were supernatural and evil," I nodded.

"Well," Dean shrugged.

"Oh," I understood. "Why then did your dad tolerate me?"

"You have to admit, that's a pretty big oversight on his part," Sam said.

"Your father was a complicated man," I said. "And at the same time he was actually quite simple."

"How do you mean?" Dean frowned.

"He didn't consider me to be anything but me," I replied.

Sam's face clouded and then just as quickly cleared. "Oh," he nodded.

Dean stared at his brother, "What?"

"She's Kelsey," Sam said. "Dad never treated her as anything except that. We accept her because he did."

"Well," Bobby nodded in agreement. "That's perfectly true. She has always been a part of your lives. She's there when you need her."  
"She's standing right here," I reminded them.

"And she can be very cranky when she's ignored," Dean grinned.

"Careful," I threatened. "I'm cooking breakfast."

"And we are very grateful," Dean grabbed a plate.

I shook my head and left them to eat.

I walked out into the junkyard and surveyed all the broken cars that Bobby had scattered throughout the place. It was fascinating that he had chosen to make this place his home. I heard the door open and saw Sam standing on the porch. He spotted me and walked to where I stood in the yard.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Kelsey," Sam stood in front of me.  
"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Do you think I'm evil?" he asked.

"Didn't we have this conversation already?" I teased.

"You might have changed your mind since," he suggested.

"My answer is the same as it was," I touched his cheek. "Everyone makes a choice."

"Things haven't been easy," he said.

"They get worse," I pointed out.

Sam grinned, "I suppose you're going to leave."

"We always keep having the same conversations," I observed.

Sam chuckled. "Yep, that's the way it is with us," he stared at the cars for a moment. "Why don't you come with us?"

I was taken aback by the suggestion. "You want me to come with you?"

"Sure," he said. "Why not? It's not like you've never been on the road with us."

"Well that's true," I nodded. "But, I have things that need to be taken care of. Plans that need to be carried out."

"What kind of plans?" Sam made the question sound casual.

"Hmm," I murmured. "You're very good."

"What?" his eyes widened. "It's a simple question."

"Sam," I said softly. "Between your father, your brother and yourself, do you honestly think that I don't pay attention?"

Sam smirked, "Well, I had to try."

"Of course," I nodded. "Well, I'll be honest but you won't believe me."

"Try me," he said.

"My plans are to save you," I replied.

"Save me?" he frowned.

"Yes," I nodded. "I figure at some point that brother of yours is going to take you up on your suggestion and well…shoot you."

"Dean's not going to shoot me," Sam shrugged.

"Well," I rubbed my chin. "I guess you're right. Come to think of it, your propensity to shoot your brother that has me wondering if there isn't some deep seated anger issues with him."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "What is it? Both you and Dean read the same psych book?"

"What are you talking about?" I was stunned.

"First Dean tells me to control my OCD and now you're babbling on about deep seated anger issues," Sam blew his breath out hard.

"Dean mentioned OCD?" I was amused. "He knows about OCD?"

"I know," Sam shook his head. "It surprised the hell out of me. My brother does have that tendency at times. Just when I think I know him, he throws me for a loop."

I pondered this for a moment. "Hmm. Well I've always suspected that Dean was more than a pretty face. But he so good at hiding everything that no one would ever suspect."

Sam laughed, then, I saw Dean emerge from the house. He saw us in the yard and walked towards us.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You," I replied. Dean stared at us with a confused expression.

"She accused me of having deep seated anger related issues with regard to you and I told her that you told me to control my OCD," Sam explained.

"Ah," Dean nodded. "So you're thinking that we read the same psych manual."

"You really shouldn't hide how smart you are," I said.

"I'm not like College boy here," Dean smirked.

"Hey," Sam feigned hurt. "I told you."

"Yeah, I know, but you've got to finish Sammy," he said.

"It's not what I want to do anymore," Sam shook his head.

"Why?" I asked.

"Dad's death changed everything. I'm not that guy anymore," Sam trailed off.

"I'm confused," I said.

"Why did you want to go in the first place?" Dean asked.

"Truthfully?" Sam looked at his brother.

"Yep," Dean nodded.

"To have a life away from this," Sam waved his hands. "I wanted to be different. I wanted to be a normal person."

"Normal people don't exist," Dean's voice became gentle.

"People unlike us," Sam shrugged. "I just wanted to be different. It's hard to explain."

"So what's changed?" I pressed.

"I realized that I can't run away from who I really am," Sam hung his head.

"Sammy, we always lie," Dean said.

"Not to the people who matter," Sam countered.

Dean looked away from his brother and I took a step back. I felt as though I was intruding on their time together.

"Perhaps, I should leave you alone," I suggested.

"Are you kidding?" Sam's head snapped up. "We wouldn't be having this conversation without you here."

"That's true," Dean agreed. "It's weird."

"Hmm," I nodded. "Perhaps I should have tried being therapist."

Sam and Dean stared at me in shock.

"What?" I asked. "It's not like you need a real license. There are lots of people who hang up shingles and aren't what they claim to be."

"Kelsey, you scare me at times," Dean muttered.

"Just at times?" I was incredulous.

Sam threw his head back and laughed. "You better go do what you're planning to do."

"What's she planning to do?" Dean sounded worried.

"She's going to save me," Sam told him.

"Oh no!" Dean groaned. "Is there enough holy water and rock salt in the world to protect us from that?"

"Hey!" I cried.

"We'll be fine, Kelsey," Dean grinned at me.

"I see that," I observed.

Bobby appeared around the corner. "There you are!" he exclaimed.

"We're just saying goodbye to her," Sam told him.

"I see," Bobby nodded. "Well, I'll see you soon."

"You will?" I asked.

"Oh sure," Bobby placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. "With these two, we have to plan how to deal with the next fallout."

"Bobby!" they cried in unison.

I smiled at them. "I'm going. Oh, Bobby, there's a number to reach me apparently. Dean keeps hiding phones on me."

"I keep trying," Dean said. "I keep trying."

I left them laughing in the middle of the yard.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I must tell you that time does move quite differently for me. Perhaps it's because I tend to move between the surface and Hell. Perhaps it's because I'm so old that the concept of time for me is different than it is for others. Whatever the real reason, I know that I paid close attention to what happened on the surface. I made certain that I was never far away for longer than two days. I had no idea how much time Sam Winchester had left and I wanted to make certain that in the event that he was grabbed that I wasn't too deep in Hell to help.

I watched over John during that time as well. I made certain that I increased his level of protection and the minions of the Spawn were hard pressed to figure out exactly where John Winchester was hidden. I discreetly circulated rumors and decided that a series of panics should take place. The plan was underway and though I didn't agree with it, I still made a concerted effort to ensure that it would succeed on my end.

I posted my own spies along the various routes in and around Hell. I issued orders that were a minor abuse of my position as editor in chief of the demon newsletter, but I felt that these were necessary in the furtherance of my mission. As I had told Micah, I was given the orders but no one specified exactly _**how**_ I was to carry these out. I realized that the others were privy to the probability scenarios and I wasn't.

I understand that it will be necessary to explain this to you. Probability scenarios are the methods by which angels predict how humans will react to various stimuli or crises. The scenario is limited by the variables that are inputted into their system. One of the most important variables is of course knowledge of the particular human and how he or she would respond based on previous interactions and observations. This may seem to be a bit cumbersome, however, when examining the prospect of existence everything needs a hobby. Demons don't ascribe to that line of thinking. They simply believe that humans will take the easiest or most desperate road. But they are wise enough to admit that humans can defy all understanding. If a demon says that he was counting on a particular human to act in a particular way, he or she is normally lying. Of course, that doesn't ever stop them from taking the full credit for everything. I checked in with my spies and still could get nowhere. It was while in Hell that I heard whispers of a werewolf loose in San Francisco. I had a particular empathy for these poor creatures and as a matter of course I tended to put them out of their misery. There was no way to cure them from the infection and once they prowled cities they were prone to attack others and infect them as well.

I did a final check on John and made certain that he remained safe. It was then time to walk the surface. I entered via the portal located near the docking yards, for this was a good place to begin walking the city. The hills were in the distance and although I could easily trod the various inclines with ease I was attempting to blend in. I searched the whole district and caught no scent of a werewolf. I was puzzled by this but shrugged for it wouldn't be the first time that the rumors were wrong.

I walked along and felt an odd movement in my coat pocket. I reached in and pulled out a vibrating phone. I stared at it for a moment and then answered.

"Hello," I said.

"Kelsey?" Bobby's voice sounded relieved.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think that you better find the boys and fast. Sam called me about some werewolf and it sounded like trouble," he said rapidly.

I frowned at that, "Okay," I told him and hung up the phone.

I closed my eyes and focused on Dean. He was feeling sad and then I sensed Sam's sorrow as well. I moved quickly to their location but all I found was an empty motel room. I was puzzled and saw that Sam's laptop was sitting on the table so I sat on the bed and waited for them to return. Sam wasn't liable to leave his computer in a motel room and Dean was hardly likely to leave his bag either.

After about ten minutes I heard the key in the door and it swung open slowly. Dean led Sam into the room and stopped when he realized that I was in the room.

"Kelsey?" he stared at me in shock.

"Don't be so surprised," I said. I got off the bed and took Sam from him. Sam rested his head on my shoulder and I led him to the bed. He lay on the bed and curled up. I looked at Dean for an explanation.

Dean turned to lock the door behind him. He walked heavily to the other bed and threw himself on it. I sat next to Sam and saw instantly that neither was going to speak to me. It was a matter of waiting until they were able to speak. I rose from the bed.  
"Where are you going?" Dean's voice was slightly muffled.

"I was going to switch the light off so that you can both get some sleep," I answered.

"You're not leaving?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "I'm not leaving."

"Okay," he nodded and closed his eyes.

I switched off the light and perched atop a chair and kept watch while they slept.

Sam's rest was disturbed. He tossed and turned and alternated crying in his sleep with silence. I allowed it to go on for about an hour until I calmed him and sent him into a deep sleep. Dean wasn't actually sleeping and I leaned over him and whispered, "Sleep," in his ear. I felt the phone vibrate again.

"They're okay, Bobby," I answered.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked.

"Who else?" I retorted.

"True," Bobby sounded solemn. "You sure they're okay?"

"Well," I stared at them. "They're sleeping and they're alive."

"That doesn't mean that they're okay," Bobby argued.

"They're okay for now," I assured him. "I'll let you know what happened, when I do."

"Well," Bobby paused. "Okay, let me know."

I smiled. He felt helpless at the prospect that he couldn't help them. It was good that they were able to call on him but he was too far away to be of much help to them. I sat back and watched them while they slept. I figured that in the morning that they would tell me all that I needed to know and then I would proceed to wring their necks. John Winchester had a lot to answer for and it was a good thing he was already dead.

Sam woke first and sat up in the bed. He looked over at Dean who was still asleep and then focused on me. He frowned slightly and then leaned back on the bed.

"Ready to talk now?" I asked.

"Not if you're going to scream at me," Sam replied.

"Why would I scream at you, Sammy?" I whispered.

Sam grunted.

Dean opened one eye then the next. "She's still here?" he asked.

"She's still here," I answered.

Dean sat forward and fixed me with a hard stare. "How did you get in the room?"

"Is that your question?" Sam asked.

"That and how did she know to come," Dean continued.

"Hmm," Sam nodded. "Those are two very good questions that we know she won't answer".

"She is here," I said quietly.

"How did you know?" Dean asked.

"Bobby's worried about the two of you. He said something about a werewolf," I explained.

Sam sat upright in the bed, "Bobby actually got through to you on the phone?"  
"Yes," I nodded.

"I was trying to call you," Sam said.

"You were trying to call her?" Dean seemed surprised.

"Of course, she would have known how to save Madison," Sam groaned.

"No one could have saved her Sam," Dean said sadly.

"I take it that she's not alive," I guessed.

"She was a werewolf," Dean explained.

"I gathered," I said.

"Yes," Sam became glum.

"It's a hard thing…" I stopped and stared at the bruises on Sam's face.

Dean caught my stare, "I don't think he's hurt physically, Kelsey."

"What happened?" I demanded.

"We were investigating a case and it turned out that this chick Madison was the werewolf. We thought if we killed the puppy that bit her that she'd be cured," Dean shrugged.

"That wouldn't work," I said.

"Yeah," Sam chimed in. "That's what Bobby said."

"I presume that was after you slept with her," I grimaced.

"How the…" Sam began.

"Did you that know that?" Dean finished.

I stared at the two of them for a moment. "Do you honestly think that I don't know either of you?"

"Well," Sam appeared uncomfortable.

"It wasn't…" I stopped.

"What?" Sam became defensive.

"There's no need to take that tone with me," I warned. "I'm just saying that it's hard to resist a werewolf."

"So now what?" Dean asked.

I crossed the room and sat on the bed. I pulled Sam forward and checked his eyes and his cuts. There were no bite marks and I sensed nothing of the wolf within him.

"He's okay. She didn't infect him," I replied.

"She didn't bite me," Sam muttered.

"There's no such thing as safe sex with a werewolf," I pointed out.

Sam quirked an eyebrow and Dean stared at me in shock. "He could have been infected?"

"A human becomes a werewolf via direct contact with an infected human," I said.

"You make it sound like a disease," Sam commented.

"It is," I nodded. "Much like vampirism. It's sort of the same kind of infection."  
"So standard procedure is to kill the infected," Sam grumbled.

"It's the only way," I rubbed his head. "It's incurable."

"Why?" Dean interjected.

"It's difficult to explain," I said. "However, the truth is that there is no cure for the infected. The only humane thing to do is to kill them before they can infect any others."

"This is supposed to cheer me up?" Sam asked.

"Well," I shrugged.

"So there was no choice," Dean lowered his head.

"No," I said. "So Dean killed her."

"No," Sam shook his head, as his lips became a thin line.

I studied Sam carefully, "I see."

"No you don't," Sam averted his eyes.

"Why?" I turned to Dean.

"She begged him to do it," Dean told me.

"Oh dear," I whispered.

"I'm not sure…" Sam trailed off.

"It's hard to get back into this kind of game," I said. "That Sarah girl was a good choice."  
"It wasn't going to work," Sam shrugged.

"Well, this Madison was sort of the same, wasn't she?" I pointed out.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "But I pulled the trigger."  
"I'm surprised that you didn't make Dean do it," I said.

"He was willing to do it," Sam said. "But I had to do it. He can't protect me forever."  
"I can try," Dean grated.

"Don't fight," I said. "Not right now."  
"Well, we can't hang around here," Sam said.

"So, you want to get back to the hunt?" Dean frowned.

"Let's get away from here as fast as we can," Sam muttered. He rose from the bed and Dean followed suit.

"So I guess that you need a hunt?" I asked.

"You know of one?" Dean asked.

"Well," I waved a paper in front of them. "There seems to be a case out in Hollywood. Perhaps it might do you some good."

"We'll see you around Kelsey," Sam said.

"Uh – huh," I nodded.

I looked at Dean and he smiled and nodded as he took the paper. I walked to the door.  
"Kelsey," Sam stopped me. "Don't be too far away okay."

"Okay," I smiled and walked through the door and returned to Hell.


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

I sat behind my desk at the newsletter and contemplated the series of panic alerts that needed to be placed. It was a relatively simple thing. All I had to do was lay down a false trail and of course panic would ensue. I also noticed that angels, I suspected under Michael's guidance, were busy making attempts at breaching the barriers to Hell. The management council was having a difficult time reining in the skittish terror that the denizens of Hell experienced. Even though, Michael had stated that the forces of angels wanted no war with Hell, they were not above threatening Hell with invasion.

I watched with vague amusement as I plotted with my reporters as to how best to report the events of Hell. I managed to check in with John, however, I made certain that I moved with care. There was now extra security posted throughout all the corridors and walkways. There were several incidents of intimidation and there were a few occasions when I had to defend my reporters and in particular my gossip columnist from arrest and censure.

I was in the middle of one of these events when I sensed that something was wrong. I focused and heard Sam calling my name. I frowned for I found it quite unusual for him to call my name with such urgency. Something had to be very wrong. I quickly made arrangements for the continued running of the newsletter and rose to the surface. I found myself across the street from a motel. Sam was alone in the room. I scanned the parking lot and found no trace of the Impala. Sam's anxiety made me extremely nervous.

I walked up to the door and knocked. The door swung open and Sam stared at me for a moment.

"You called?" I prompted.

"You're actually here!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," I nodded. "Because you called."

Sam stepped aside so that I could enter the room. He appeared troubled.

"Did Dean run away?" I asked.

"What?" Sam shook his head. "No. He's missing."

"Missing?" I repeated.

"Yes," Sam nodded. "We were tracking a jinni…"

"You were what?" my voice went up an octave.

Sam stepped away from me. "Kelsey, we hunt things on our own."

"A jinni? You were hunting a jinni? Oh brother," I perched on a chair.

"Look," Sam sighed. "I know that it wasn't exactly smart of us to be apart when we were hunting the damned thing."

"Why aren't you with him?" I asked.

"Well," Sam refused to meet my gaze.

"Sam, you had better start explaining," I warned.

"It's like this," Sam sat on the bed. "We went to L.A. you know, following that article you found in the paper. It turned out to be a hoax at first. The article that is."

"And?" I prodded.

"Well, it turned out this guy named Walter, he uh, well, he sort of controlled some spirits to wreck the movie production," Sam explained.

"I'm sure that the spirits didn't like that," I mused.

"No," Sam grimaced. "They pretty much tore him apart once he destroyed the amulet."

"Idiot," I murmured.

"Yeah," Sam chuckled, "I'll agree with you there."

"Then what?" I sensed that there was information I wasn't going to like.

"We went to see Deacon," Sam told me. "We helped him out with a little situation."

"Sam?" I seized on the story.

"There was a ghost killing prisoners," Sam kept his eyes on the floor.

"Oh," I shut my eyes for a second. "Please tell me that the two of you didn't get yourselves thrown in prison in order to help Deacon!"

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"Damn it Sammy!" I said crossly. "You have the blasted FBI after you and you go and get yourselves arrested!"

"It was Dean's idea," Sam pleaded.

"Dean?" I cried. "And you went along with it!"

"Look, we did it for Dad okay," Sam argued.

"For your dad?" I shook my head. "I can't believe…does Deacon know that you're in trouble with the FBI?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"And he allowed you to go through with that hare brained scheme?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"We had an escape plan," Sam shrugged. "It's just that Hendricksen got there faster than we expected."

"Oh," I placed my hand over my face. I was going to kill Dean once I made certain he was all right.

"We got out," Sam pleaded.

"Barely, knowing the two of you," I muttered. "What is the matter now? Why are you still hunting?"  
"We're not easily found," Sam reasoned. "We dumped the credit cards and changed our license plates."

"I see," I said.  
"We know how to live off the grid Kelsey," Sam told me.

"I know," I said. "You're both as stubborn and pig headed as your father."

Sam grinned at me.

"That's not a compliment," I growled.

"Look," Sam said. "I haven't heard from Dean since he said he was going to check out an old ruin of a place."

"What do you need me for?" I asked.

"You can figure out exactly where he is, because I don't," Sam said.

I stared at him with my mouth agape. "You don't know…"

"Kelsey," Sam sat up straight on the bed, "Please don't scream."

"Oh," I scoffed. "Screaming isn't what I had in mind."

"Will you help me?" Sam asked.

"Of course I'll help you," I snapped. "Then I'm going to kill the two of you."

Sam's mouth quivered as a look of doubt crept into his eyes.  
"I'm sure that Dean's fine," I said. "But you should take better care of your brother."  
"I love my brother, Kelsey," Sam murmured.  
"I know," I nodded. "Let's go to the last place you knew him to be."

"Oh right," Sam smiled. "We don't have a car."

"I'll get one," I said.

Sam frowned at me. "I can do it, Kelsey."

"Let the one who is not wanted by the FBI get the car," I suggested.

Sam refused to fight me on that point.

It didn't take me long to find a car. We used Sam's map to trace Dean's location.

"I think we should go down here," Sam pointed to a side road.

I stopped the car and frowned at row of buildings. I turned the car in that direction.

"Kelsey, this isn't where we should go," Sam said.

"Shh!" I told him. "Dean's in that building."  
"How do you know?" he asked.

"Because I can sense him and the jinni," I said.

Sam became silent. I parked the car and we got out.  
"You have your silver knife covered with lamb's blood?" I asked.

Sam nodded. He held himself rigid.

"Look," I said gently. "A jinni usually leaves its victims alive for days. Dean will be fine."

"I hope so," Sam said.

He walked towards the building and stopped. He turned and saw that I wasn't with him.

"Kelsey?" he asked.

"I can't interfere," I said. "You got yourselves into this, you have to get out on your own. Dean's a fighter. He'll fight whatever fantasy the jinni has cooked up. You just have to be there to guide him the rest of the way."

Sam stared at me for a few seconds and then with a nod he walked inside of the building. I waited until I was certain he wasn't going to return and then walked around to the side of the building.

I found the jinni seated on the steps outside. He glared at me.  
"You shouldn't be here," he growled.

"I am here," I said.

"You're not allowed to interfere with me," he snarled.

"I'm not," I smiled.

He stood and quickly moved inside. I heard that sounds of a fight and then I sensed when the jinni died. I shrugged. John had certainly taught them well. I just wish that he had also taught them prudence.

I returned to the front of the building and saw Sam and Dean carrying a young woman. Dean stared at me in shock.

"Kelsey!" he cried.

I caught him before he fell. Sam held on tightly to the young woman. I looked at the three of them and took her from Sam.

"Kelsey?" Sam asked.

"It's better if I carry her in," I said. "I'm not wanted by the FBI remember? Besides you can call and find out how she's doing."

Sam shouldered Dean and pulled him towards the Impala. I carried the young woman to the hospital.

It was a hysterical scene, with me crying at the prospect of having found a young woman who was obviously attacked. In the confusion at the hospital I managed to escape. I returned to the motel and found them both in the room. I stared at them and realized that I had just come up on something important.  
"Are you both all right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Dean answered.

"Hunting a jinni like that was dangerous," I said.

"Yep," Dean agreed.

"So is being on the run from the FBI," I pointed out.

Dean's head snapped up, "Sammy?"

"You try to get her to help without telling anything," Sam defended his actions.

"Okay," Dean nodded. "Point taken."  
"Well," Sam shrugged. "At least we managed to save that girl."  
"At least," Dean smiled sadly.

"No matter how we may wish things, there are reasons for everything," I said.

Dean frowned for a moment.

"Kelsey," Sam studied me.

"What?" I asked.

"What did you do?" he scrutinized my face.  
"When?" I was confused.

"While I was trying to get Dean to come out of the dream," Sam clarified.

"I didn't do anything," I said.

"You distracted the damn thing didn't you?" Sam guessed.

"Well," I shrugged. "You needed time to reach Dean."

"That explains it," Sam nodded.

"Now what?" I asked.

"We do what we do," Dean said. "We have a job to do, so we do it."

Sam chuckled for a moment. "Dean's always about the job."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "So are you."

"True," Sam agreed.

"Pig headed and stubborn like your father," I muttered.

Dean smirked, "Which of us?"  
"Both of you," I said.

"You haven't asked me what I saw," Dean said.  
"It doesn't matter," I smiled. "The jinni would have taken something that you wished and twisted to suit his own purposes."

Dean smiled sadly and I could guess what he wished. I knew what they both would have wished, that their mother were alive and their father as a regular person. It was a human wish that was born out their deep-seated need for a different life and I couldn't blame them. So, I stayed with them until they were ready to leave the motel. Then I returned to Hell and embarked on another attempt to uncover the Spawn's plan.


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Finally it happened. The break we hoped would come. The Spawn's plan was in its final stages and the location of the kidnapped was somewhere within reach. At least that's what I had hoped until I realized that all activity on the surface had been suspended. Hell was placed on complete lockdown and I was puzzled at the move by the management council. The Spawn certainly had the approval of the hierarchy and therefore was able to move freely despite the barriers in place.

I was left with no other option but to break loose from the confines of the Hell. It wasn't a hard task for me and it was a necessary risk. I emerged on the surface and headed for the nearest church. I waited patiently inside. I was rewarded with the appearance of Raphael.

"Raphael," I called to him from behind.

He frowned as he turned. "What are you doing here?"

"I think I may have a lead on where the bonded are being kept," I said.

"Where?" he asked.

I didn't answer, as something felt odd to me.

"Denri?" Raphael came forward.

I shook my head and tried to focus on what was wrong. "I have to go," I said quickly.

"No," Raphael grabbed my arm. "You have to tell me."

"I can't," I shook my head to clear it. "Something's very wrong. I can sense Dean's panic. He doesn't tend to panic easily, something is very wrong."

Raphael's gaze shifted past me. I turned and saw Micah standing behind me.

"Micah?" I fought to keep my focus.

"Release her," Micah told Raphael.

"She knows where they are being kept," Raphael argued.

"Yes," Micah nodded. "And she'll tell us later. But right now she needs to go."

Raphael released me and I shifted quickly to where Dean was located.

I found him pacing back and forth in front of a diner as he struggled to regain control. This was worse than the time Sam had run away. I couldn't sense Sam at all. I caught him as he spun on his heels.

"Kelsey!" he wrapped his arms around me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Sam…he's…gone…can't find him…he's missing…. dead…just dead," Dean babbled incoherently.

I frowned as I struggled to follow his erratic thoughts. "Dean, sweetie, you have to take a deep breath," I said as I tried to get him to focus.

"Sam's missing," he said.

"I got that," I nodded. "Who's dead?"  
"The people in the diner," he explained.

"Why don't we try it from the beginning," I suggested.

"We came to this place. Sam went inside to get the food and I stayed in the car," he paused.

"Go on," I prompted.

"Well, I could see him. Everything looked fine and then I turned up the volume on the radio and then there was static so I looked down for a second," his eyes glistened. "When I looked up, I saw nothing."  
"Nothing?" I repeated.  
"Nothing," Dean shook his head in disbelief. "I ran inside and I found the people in the diner with their throats cut."

"Where was Sam?" I asked.

"Nowhere," Dean ran his hands through his hair. "I checked the back and found sulfur. You know like when that Ava chick vanished."

"I remember," I said.

"It's the damnedest thing," Dean fought to keep control. "I don't know. I don't know."

"Shh!" I calmed him. "He's all right I'm sure."  
"He could be dead," Dean cried.

"He's not," I assured him.

"How do you know?" Dean demanded.

"I would sense it, if he were dead," I said.

"You're sure?" Dean looked at me suspiciously.

"Yes," I nodded. "Now, what did you do?"

"I was searching for him," Dean shrugged. "But he had to be taken. It has to be that yellow eyed son of a bitch."

I frowned for a moment and then it dawned on me that he was referring to the Spawn.

"Have you been in contact with anyone else?" I pressed him.

"I called Bobby," Dean said. "He's meeting me not too far from here soon. We're going to see if we can figure it out. And I called Ash."

"Who?" I was puzzled.

"Ash," Dean frowned. "Didn't we tell you about Ash?"  
"Nope," I said. "I think I'd remember someone named Ash."

"Ash is Ellen's nephew," Dean explained. "He's a genius with a computer and we gave him Dad's research to track the demon."

"Does it work?" I questioned.

"Well," Dean smiled grimly, "He hasn't let us down yet."

"Well," I shrugged.

Dean's phone rang. "Bobby?" he answered.

"Yes, I'll be right there," he said and he disconnected the call. Dean rapidly walked to the Impala. He stopped when he saw that I wasn't following. "Um, Kelsey? Don't you think that you should get in the car?" he frowned.

"You go to Bobby," I said. "I'm going to see if I can track Sam."

"But we should stay together," Dean reasoned.  
"Not in this case," I shook my head. "I'll meet up with you later. I can find you very easily, remember?"

He nodded and then got into the car and drove off. I walked into the diner and saw the evidence of the carnage that had been left behind. I sighed for this particular Spawn didn't care about the body count he was leaving behind. I went to the back door and examined the sulfur as well. It was the same residue as the last time. I closed my eyes and used my senses to reach out to Sam. He wasn't there. I knew that if he were dead I'd have felt it. I had to return to where Micah was and see if we could track the two possible sites that I had received from my spies. It wasn't going to be easy. I sighed heavily as this was the part of the plan that I hated.

I returned to the church and found Micah seated in the garden adjoining the church. He looked incongruous with the setting and yet appeared to blend in at the same time. I sat next to him.  
"Well?" he asked.

"Sam's been taken," I said. "But then you already knew that."

"Yes," he nodded. "However you had to go to Dean. He's not likely to stop until he has his brother."

"I don't blame him," I said.

"You said that you know where they are," Micah reminded me.

"I said that I think I know," I pointed out.

"Is it one location?" Micah asked.

"Two," I said.

"It could be that both are false," Micah speculated.

"We won't know unless we can't go in," I replied.

"That's if they haven't set up two such places," Micah grumbled.

"Hell's on lockdown," I shook my head. "It's not like they have the entire quorum to assist in their concealment."

"Still," Micah pursed his lips, "The Spawn does have formidable skills."

"Not that formidable," I muttered.

"Stick to the plan," Micah reminded.

"I know," I smiled wanly. "But to borrow Dean's expression. This sucks."

Micah chuckled, "Come on, we'll go check out the first location."

I nodded.

We traveled to the desert region where my spies had figured could be a good place. It was an old mining town. Quite deserted and forgotten but there was no sign of anything there. Micah checked out the abandoned buildings and shot me a sardonic glance.

"We're here," I pointed out.

"Yes," he nodded. "So this must be the wrong place."

I said nothing in reply. I frowned for something was breaking through my concentration.

"What is it?" Micah demanded.

"I'm not sure," I said. "Dean's in a great deal of pain."

"Go," he ordered.

"What?" I was stunned. "We have another location to check out."

"And perhaps the humans have a better idea than we will," Micah said. "Besides, we can't afford to lose Dean right now."

"What's so damned important about them?" I felt the surge or anger.

"They're important to you," Micah reminded me.

"I'm not arguing that point," I gritted. "I'm wondering about your interest."

"We need to end this thing," Micah said.

"One way or the other," I vowed. "It will end."

"You better go," Micah refused to engage me in a fight.

I huffed and left to find Dean.

I saw the Impala parked outside a burnt out building. I knew the location of the place to the Roadhouse I had accompanied John so many years before when he returned Bill's body to his wife. I wondered when the place was destroyed. I saw Bobby standing over Dean who appeared to be shaken but fine.

"Kelsey!" Bobby called. "Where the Hell have you been?"  
"In the middle of a deserted mining town," I replied.

"Really?" Bobby frowned.

"What do you think I do when I'm not with you?" I demanded.

"That's not something I'm sure I'd like to get into," Bobby retorted.

"Dean?" I turned my attention to him.

"I'm okay," he grimaced. "Bobby knows where Sam is."  
"How?" I was curious.

"Dean got a vision," Bobby explained.

"How did that happen?" I asked.

"We're not sure," Bobby's frown returned.

I stared at Dean for a second. "Where's this Ash guy?" I looked around.

"He's ashes," Dean replied.

I raised an eyebrow and Bobby blanched.  
"We think that he got killed," Bobby said.

"Think?" Dean groaned. "He was in there along with others."

"It's war, Dean," I said.

"I know," he grunted.

"So," I said. "How could you get a vision? And do you trust it?"  
"Well," Dean said. "I saw Sam and then I saw a bell with an oak tree carved into it."

"That's why I know where they are," Bobby nodded. "They're in the most haunted town in the country."

"Well," I said. "That would explain a lot."

"What?" Dean looked at me sharply.

"How the demon was able to keep the others hidden," I explained.

"You've been trying to find the others?" Bobby was incredulous.

"Of course," I was exasperated. "Wait a minute? Dean did you meet anyone who could influence thought?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "Andy could do it. But he couldn't send a vision?"  
Bobby shrugged. "Maybe, he could. If he can influence thought then he can send visions, I think."

"Usually that's how it works," I said.

"There are times you scare me," Dean said.

"Which one of us?" Bobby asked.  
"Both of you," Dean said. "Okay, let's go get my brother."

"I'll let you do that," I said.

"Kelsey?" Dean frowned.

"No Dean," Bobby stopped him. "She can't. There's a limit to what she can do."

"How do you mean?" Dean asked sharply.

"She can't go where we can," Bobby explained.

"There's a demon involved," Dean said.  
"But, they're not possessed," Bobby said. "That makes it different."

Dean grimaced and got in the car. Bobby followed and I watched them leave.


	32. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I stayed at the site of the burnt building for a few minutes. It made no sense to move when I knew that Micah would be along shortly. He appeared around the bend of the road. He stopped and stared at the building.

"This war is costly," he commented.

"Yes," I nodded. "Human war usually is. And when Spawn get involved the body count piles up."

"That's usually the case," Micah shook his head. "There were a lot of good people who died here."

"Why take so many of them out?" I asked.

"Well, they want to unleash the Legion," Micah shrugged. "The first step would be to take out those who could put them back."

"That's my point," I said. "Taking out hunters would only bring the attention of angels…"

"What?" Micah frowned.

"You have a plan and so do they," I murmured.

"They want to finish this war," Micah nodded.

"Damn it!" I groaned.

"It's okay," Micah said. "We're prepared."

I glared at him.

"Where are they being kept?" Micah asked.

"The second location," I said.

Micah looked impressed.

"You're impressed?" I was stunned.

"Think of it," Micah pointed out. "No one would think to look there. You have to give the Spawn its due."

"Let's go," I sighed in disgust.

"We're not going to be able to cross that barrier," Micah pointed out.

"We will," I said. "When there emerges a winner."

"That's grim," Micah observed.

"But truthful," I shrugged. "Let's get there and wait for it."

Micah traveled with me to the place. It was touted to be one of the most haunted towns in the country. I knew that Ichiri had taken to living in the woods around the town. I realized that they had to be in league with the Spawn. I perched on the nearest log and Micah sat next to me.

"You sure you don't want to try?" Micah suggested.

"Try what?" I asked.

"Crossing the barrier," Micah pointed to the line that would be invisible to humans.

"I'm not going to cross the barrier," I said. "The Spawn would have put in contingency plans. Unless you want to risk an all out battle."

"Very funny," Micah muttered.

"We wait," I said. "It'll be like the old days."

Micah shook his head, "Like the old days? Oh great."

I smiled, "We wait, Micah."

He nodded in agreement and we settled down to wait.

After a few hours I noticed that the barrier was shimmering. I frowned at that and sat forward. Micah had also seen it and sprang to his feet. We stepped forward and the barrier lifted. I shot Micah a sharp look and he nodded. We crossed the forest and heard a voice calling in the distance. I stiffened and recognized that the voice belonged to Dean. He was calling Sam's name. I rounded the corner with Micah behind me. We saw another man with Sam. Dean screamed Sam's name and the other man stabbed Sam in the back.

The thunder echoed through the sky and I saw when Dean grabbed his brother. Bobby took off in pursuit of the young man and I froze on the spot. Micah gasped and attempted to follow Bobby. I sank to my knees and found myself unable to move. Dean held Sam in his arms and screamed. "Sam!"

I remained where I was. I sensed when Micah returned. He knelt beside me. I felt him tug on my arm.  
"Come, we have to leave now," Micah whispered.

"No," I shook my head.

"It's too late now," Micah said.

"No," I whispered.

"Come on," he pulled me to my feet. "We have to report this."

"Sam," I shook my head. "John's not going to…"

"We have to go," Micah pulled me close to him.

"I have to go to Dean," I said.

"No," Micah shook his head. "You have to come with me now."

"No," I tried to pull away but then I realized that two others had appeared beside us. This puzzled me for they grabbed us and we were whisked away from the location.

I managed to break free from their grasp and ended up in the middle of a cornfield. I stared at the location quite confused.  
"You just have to fight everything don't you," Michael's voice reached me through the stalks of corn.

"Well, if you had told me that your plan included killing Sam!" I screamed at him.

"Make the deal with Dean," Michael said.

"What deal?" I was completely stunned.

"Dean will make a deal with a Crossroads Demon for Sam's life," Michael said.

I balked at the suggestion. "Don't be ridiculous! Dean Winchester may be a lot of things but stupid he isn't!" the place shook with my shout.

"It's not ridiculous," Michael replied calmly. "We know what he's like. He's got no one now. He'll do this."

I shook my head. "I refuse to believe that," I scoffed.

Michael sighed, "I knew you were going to be difficult. Look, we can corral the Crossroads Demon. Dean's going to make that deal and you can do it!"

"I'm not going to do it!" I said.

"You'd rather he goes to Hell?" Michael demanded.

"You think that he'd do the same thing as his father?" I retorted.

"Yes!" Michael's voice increased in volume.

"Why?" I wanted to know.

"You," Michael shook with barely controlled anger. "Who have spent so much time with them, and raised them, can ask that?"  
"I like to think that Dean wouldn't do that," I said.

"If he feels like he can't go on, he will," Michael suggested. "He still hasn't recovered from John's death. And he did find out what John did and the guilt is killing him."

"Dean won't do that," I repeated.

"You're not there," Michael said.

My head snapped up at that, "You can't."

"Make the deal," Michael ordered.

"I told you that you can't order me around," I warned.

"You have your orders," Michael pointed out.

"But nowhere is it written that I have to take Dean's soul to do it!" I said.

"This is the only way," Michael said.

"No," I shook my head. "It's not."

"What are you talking about?" Michael asked.

"I don't have to interfere with the deal," I told him. "I can nullify it."

"How?" Michael frowned.

I glared at him. "I can bring back Sam before the demon has a chance to and that nullifies the deal," I replied.

"So, Dean's soul is intact?" Michael pressed.

"No," I answered. "I'll have to rip her apart to get the tag for his soul. But that's a small matter."

"We can't do that," Michael disagreed.  
"You can't do that," I stared at him. "I can."

"You're going to take the deal away from the demon?" Michael shook his head. "You can't possibly have that kind of power…"  
"What Michael?" I prompted.

"You can resurrect," Michael nodded.

"You knew that," I pointed out.

"Yes," he stroked his chin. "That's why we wanted you to do the deal. But I thought…"

"There's a lot that you don't know," I scowled. "Now get out of my way. I've got to get to him."

"You're not going to prevent him from making the deal," Michael told me.

"It will look odd that I'm not there," I said.

"Okay," Michael reluctantly agreed.

I walked out of the cornfield and crossed the distance to where Dean was located.

I entered the cabin slowly. Both Bobby and Dean were standing staring at Sam's body. I leaned against the doorjamb and remained silent. Dean spun and frowned when he saw me. He didn't move. I saw the pain etched in his face. He looked back at his brother lying on the mattress. Bobby turned and saw me.

"Kelsey!" he walked to me and pulled me into his arms. "We were too late."

"I know," I nodded.

"You shouldn't be here," Dean said.

"What?" Bobby demanded.

"She shouldn't be here," Dean repeated.

"Damn it Dean!" Bobby admonished.

"It's okay," I said. "I'll leave."

"No!" Bobby held on to my arm.

"I don't want her here," Dean stared at Bobby with expressionless eyes.

Bobby frowned.

"It's okay," I said to Bobby.  
I walked up to Dean and pulled him into my arms. He didn't resist but he didn't cry either. I released him and headed for the door.

"Kelsey!" Bobby's voice reflected his concern.

"He wants to be alone Bobby," I said quietly. "When he's ready, he'll call me."

"Kelsey," Bobby shook his head.

"Free will, Bobby," I smiled grimly.  
"Yeah," Bobby grunted. "It's a bitch all right."

I nodded and walked through the door. I would wait patiently until it was time. Until, then, there was nothing more to do but mourn Sam.


	33. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I watched Bobby leave a few hours later. Dean remained alone in the cabin with Sam. He stared at his body but said nothing. At least I observed him crying at different points in time. He wanted no comfort from me and I understood. It wasn't an easy thing and he needed time to process. Micah joined me where I was perched. He said nothing and I didn't acknowledge him.

"You can't ignore this," Micah said at last.

"He wants to be left alone," I said. "Besides I heard the plan."

"It's a good plan," Micah defended it.  
"Says you," I muttered.

"Yours would have been all out war," Micah pointed out.

"As opposed to yours?" I scoffed.

Micah remained silent.

I frowned as I heard Bobby call my name. "I have to go."

"Where?" Micah looked around.

"Bobby," I told him.

Micah shrugged.

I left him watching Dean.

I crossed quickly to where Bobby waited. He stared at me in amazement.

"You called me," I told him.

"Yeah," Bobby agreed. "But I didn't think it'd work."

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You got to help Dean," Bobby said quietly.

"He doesn't want help," I replied.

"No," Bobby shook his head. "He's not in his right mind. He doesn't understand what he's saying."

"It's the grief, Bobby," I smiled sadly. "It's what he has to go through."  
"No," Bobby looked glum. "It's too much too soon. We've lost so many. He's not going to cope."

"What are you thinking Bobby?" I asked.

"There's something going on," he said. "Something big. It's like they wanted to take out as many hunters as possible. As though we'd get in their way."

"Way of what?" I pressed him.

"Like they're planning the end of the world or something," Bobby guessed.

I raised an eyebrow, "I'm impressed."

"What?" Bobby stared at me in shock.

"Well," I shrugged. "You have come up with a good guess as to what the demon is after."

"Sam's death plays into this?" Bobby demanded.

"Perhaps this is for the best," I said.

"Why?" Bobby's tone became sharp.

"It's better than the alternative, Bobby," I murmured.

Bobby refused to press me any further.

I smiled at him. "We're all feeling the pain, you know," I said. "Get some food. Dean will come around."

"I don't know," Bobby grimaced.

"He has the freedom to do as he chooses, Bobby," I told him.

"Yeah," Bobby nodded. "I'll try to get him to eat something."

Bobby got in his pickup and drove off. I frowned but guessed that Dean must have taken Bobby to wherever they had left it while they searched for Sam.

I returned to the cabin and found Dean staring at Sam's body. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew that he wasn't about to let me do that. He had to work this through and it would take time. I prayed that Michael was wrong about him. I prayed that the probability scenarios were wrong as well. However, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I had to wait. It was free will after all and it was a bitch.

I found Micah seated where I'd left him. He remained focused and alert.

"Looking for any remaining demons?" I asked.

"We can't find the other one," Micah told me.

"Who?" I asked.

"The one who survived," Micah said. "The one who killed Sam."

"The Spawn would have cloaked his location," I speculated. "It would make it far more difficult for us to track."

"True," Micah agreed. "What did Bobby want?"  
"He's worried about Dean," I answered. "And, he's also guessed at the Spawn's plans."

"That's good," Micah approved.

"Humans will surprise us," I commented.

"And then at times they don't," Micah pointed out.

I remained silent at this point. I knew that he was correct. I couldn't take the chance of returning to Hell to check on John. I needed to be present for when the whole thing would go down.

I saw Bobby return with food and he then attempted to reach Dean. Dean made him leave and Bobby left. I was surprised, but then Bobby probably was taking some time to regroup before confronting Dean again. I watched the pickup disappear around the bend and waited for the events to unfold. Then I sensed Bobby calling me. I nodded to Micah and left to find Bobby.

He had reached a point in the road and stopped. I found him leaning against the side of the pickup.

"I don't care about the consequences," Bobby said. "You do something to help Dean right now."

"What would you have me do?" I asked.

"Move Sam's body," Bobby cried. "Take Dean forcibly from the cabin. Knock some sense into his head."  
"What are you afraid of, Bobby?" I prodded.

"I'm afraid that he's going to kill himself," Bobby muttered.

"That wouldn't be the worst he could do," I said.

"Kelsey!" Bobby's anger reflected in his voice.

"It's the truth, Bobby," I told him. "He's got choices to make. And that free will thing…it's a bitch for more reasons than you'd care to know."

"I tried to get him to help me," Bobby said. "He didn't care."  
"Of course he didn't care," I pointed out. "Dean's whole family is gone. He's entirely alone."

"No he's not!" Bobby disagreed.

"In your mind, no," I sighed. "In his mind…"  
"John," Bobby grunted.

"No," I shook my head. "Everyone has to take responsibility at some point."

"I don't know what to do," Bobby whispered.

"There's nothing that you can do," I said. "That's why it's so hard."  
"You should do something," Bobby insisted.

"Why?" I wondered.

"You're an angel, Kelsey," Bobby declared.

"I'm not a harp playing, halo wearing angel, Bobby," I told him.

"I know," Bobby shrugged. "Still."

"I understand," I said. "Look, go home. I'll stay close and see if I can't talk some sense into him."

"Okay," Bobby agreed.

He got into the pickup and drove off.

I turned when I sensed Micah. I frowned at his desertion of his post.

"It's almost time," Micah said.

I sighed. "Dean's gone to make the deal."

"It's not to late to substitute," Micah suggested.

"No," I shook my head. "The Spawn would have set up a contingency plan. Even if he's not counting on it, he'd leave nothing to chance."

"Your plan will work?" Micah sounded doubtful.

"It will work," I told him.

"Well," Micah leaned forward. "He has to remain as is. Don't purge him."

"What about after?" I asked.

"No," Micah said. "We want him to remain that way for a while."  
"He's got demon blood in him," I frowned.

"Yes," Micah agreed. "And that means that it will also suppress his abilities once the whole thing is over."

"This is stupid," I grated.

"Perhaps," Micah said. "Wait for my signal."

I nodded and Micah left.

I returned to the now empty cabin. Dean had left it to find a Crossroads Demon who would accept his soul for his brother's life. I sat on the bed next to Sam. I stroked his forehead and saw that his soul had been put to sleep and not permitted to leave his body. That made it easier I suppose. I toyed with the idea of disobeying the orders but I chose to adhere to them. I wasn't sure what they were up to and I wasn't about to interfere in a plan that was already underway.

I sat and recalled all the times that I had spent with the Winchesters and thought of where they were now. I remembered thinking that John Winchester was never going to allow his sons to grow up without his obsession becoming theirs. Yet in a strange twist it was that obsession that had kept them alive. It made them prepared and brought them to this very place that they had no right to be.

I sensed when Micah returned. He stared at me sadly.

"What?" I asked.

"That bitch is certainly a piece of work," Micah spat.

"That's no way for an angel to speak," I admonished.

"She's on her way," he told me. "I'll detain her. You do what you need to do."

He left me alone with Sam. I leaned forward and traced my finger along his chest and then up his mouth, over his nose, across his eyes and finally his forehead. I kissed his forehead and then placed my mouth close to his ear.

"Wake up, Sammy," I whispered.

He drew in a sharp breath and opened his eyes. He was alive. I quickly became invisible to him and stepped away from the bed. He seemed disoriented and confused and then he got up from the bed. I walked outside of the cabin and found Micah waiting by the log.


	34. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I walked quickly to the point where the Cross Roads Demon found herself contained. She was angry and I recognized her instantly. I smiled briefly to myself. She saw me and froze.

"You can't interfere with me," she taunted. "I'm on my way to seal a deal."

"He's already back," I told her.

"That's impossible!" she cried.

"Not really," I smiled at her.

"I still have the soul," she acted defiantly but her eyes betrayed her fear.

I grabbed her by the throat. "You'll hurt the human!" she gasped.

"A necessary casualty," I replied.

Her eyes widened as I forced my hand inside the human body and held her in place. I placed my mouth over hers and took the marker, which was attached to Dean's soul. When I was finished I pulled the demon from the human host. The woman collapsed on the ground and gasped for air. I nodded to Micah who removed her from the scene.

I then shook the black smoke that was the demon and gave her a form. I released her and she was stunned to be corporeal. She lunged at me and I sent her flying into the nearest tree. She winced as she struggled to her feet.

"Why?" she demanded.

"There are things that must be done," I said.

"I can't return to Hell like this!" she shrieked.

"No," I smiled. "You can't."

"You can't do this!" she attempted to run and I moved swiftly so that she collided with me and went flying into another tree. She stood unsteadily and whimpered.

Micah returned and frowned at her physical form.

"How?" he asked.

"It's one of the things that I can do," I said.

"Why?" he sounded perturbed.

"In order for your plan to work," I explained. "She needs to be kept out of the way."

She rubbed her back and arms as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Well," Micah continued staring at her. "The woman she took won't remember anything."

"Good," I nodded.

I walked over to her and she backed away.

"It's not a good feeling is it?" I said.

"No," she shook her head.

"You're going to disappear for a while," I narrowed my eyes. "You'll be returned when this is finished."

"How long will that be?" she looked at me fearfully.

"When I decide," I touched her face.

She gasped and crumpled to the floor.

Micah frowned as he approached.

"You forgot," I said quietly.

"I forgot," he agreed. "So, now what?"

"Now," I looked at him grimly. "I do what I need to do."

Micah shook his head.

"It's Michael's plan," I explained.

Micah shrugged.

"This is why I never like his plans," I commented.

"You just never like anything that any of us come with," Micah countered.

"Perhaps," I replied. "Now, let me dispose of her and get moving."

I picked her up and became light. I traveled to Stull cemetery and placed her inside a crypt. She was in effect buried, but I didn't have a problem with that. She would remain there until I chose to release her. This was the place where they would all end up anyway.

I moved away from the cemetery and traveled to Bobby's. I figured that he would be looking for me. I waited inside and saw that Sam was busy pouring over maps with Dean and Ellen was present. I shrugged for I thought that she had perhaps succumbed to the fire. However, she was there, shaken but ready to fight. I found the book I knew should be there. I picked it up and checked that it was the correct one. Bobby wasn't one to throw things away and this was a good sign.

The door opened and I made myself invisible. Bobby entered the room and stood in the center lost in thought.

"Hello Bobby," I said.

He started and turned to face me. "Kelsey!"

"Sh!" I said. "Not so loud."

"Look," he was glum. "Dean did a terrible thing."

"Oh?" I said.

"He made a deal that brought Sam back," Bobby said.

"Does Sam know?" I was curious.  
"No," Bobby shook his head. "You got to get him out of this."

"What do you expect me to do Bobby?" I asked.

"I dunno," he looked confused. "You're the friggin' angel. Do something."

"There's nothing to be done," I said. "Dean made a deal of his own free will."

"Free will," Bobby spat. "What did you call it earlier? A bitch? That's certainly right enough."

"How long did he get?" I asked for that was a question that I should ask.

"He got a year," Bobby said.

"A year?" I feigned surprise. "Well, at least that's a better deal than what John got."

"I don't understand it," Bobby shook his head.

"You wouldn't," I sighed.

"Seriously, though," Bobby fixed me a hard look. "You're not going to do anything?"  
"There's nothing to be done at this point, Bobby," I smiled wanly. "But there's something that you must do."  
"Yeah," Bobby nodded. "We've been tracking the flare up of demonic activity. It's happening."

"The answer is in this book," I handed him the book.

"What?" Bobby frowned.

I opened the book to the page that he needed. He stared at the page and frowned.

"I'm going to leave you now," I said.

"You have to help us fight," Bobby appeared stunned.

"This isn't the time for me to fight," I told him. "My time will come soon enough."

"So we humans are just going to be on our own," Bobby sniped.

"Well," I stared at him. "It is a human that you're going to be fighting. Therefore, I can't have anything to do with it."

Bobby's brow furrowed, "What are you saying?"  
"I'm saying," I sighed. "Read the book."

I turned to leave.

"Are we going to see you again?" he asked.

I faced him and pondered the question. "It depends," I replied. "It depends."

"I don't like that response," Bobby's voice was solemn.

"We'll have to see how things work out," I tried to reassure him. "If you're in trouble, call my name. I'll come especially if you ask for help."

Bobby nodded and turned his attention to the book. He walked through the door and continued reading.

The book recounted the information about the churches that Samuel Colt built. They were connected by iron railway tracks that formed a devil's trap. It went on for miles and was designed to keep the army locked behind the crypt imprisoned and other demons out. Now the others wanted those to be unleashed. I wasn't sure as to why they would want that. It served no one's purpose to have them released, but there was a lot that I wasn't being told.

I remained long enough to satisfy myself that they had figured it out. Not only had they figured it out but Sam also realized that there was one person who could get to the location. He lied to Dean in the process and I realized that the Spawn had shown Sam that he had been bonded as a baby and probably had shown him his mother's death. I recalled what Michael had said about the mother. She would have recognized the Spawn if her family were truly aware of these things. Which meant that Sam was also keeping that a secret from his brother as well. I didn't like the feeling I was experiencing. I wondered if I would be allowed to purge Sam of the blood bond. I hoped that it would happen.

I left the house and headed back to the cemetery. There I would wait for the events to unfold. It was going to be decided this night. I had time to journey back into Hell. I had to prepare John for what was going to happen. We wouldn't have much time. I took another look at the gate that I had forged. The lock and key were the only things that were made by a human being. That was my brilliant plan, which had turned out to be not so brilliant after all.

I traveled back into Hell and found the entire place in a state of general panic. This was a good thing for it meant that everything else would be busy and I'd be able to get John out fairly quickly. I crossed to where he was still chained to the wall. He woke the second I knelt before him.

"Kelsey," he coughed. "What's happening?"  
"Look," I said. "Sam was killed and Dean traded his soul for his brother to be brought back."

"What?" John frowned.

"Sorry, John," I motioned for him to be quiet. "I don't have much time, because this thing has to be timed just right."  
"What thing?" John muttered.

"Your escape," I told him.

"I'm escaping?" he looked confused.

"Yes," I nodded. "Remember that once you're free that I'm going to hand you over to the angels. They'll take care of you and keep you safe."

"If you say so," John agreed.  
"I do say so," I snapped. "Now, when you see me, you're not to be frightened. I'm going to unchain you then and we move."  
"Got it," John nodded.

"I'll see you soon," I said.

"Okay," John looked like he had more questions. However, I needed to continue what I was doing and I couldn't answer his questions. I would leave the others to deal with the barrage once he was out of Hell and safely in their custody. I returned to the surface and noted that night was fast approaching. It was almost time for the final showdown.


	35. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I observed Bobby and Ellen enter the cemetery with their weapons in tow. Sam and Dean followed and they each took up their sentry position as they waited for the young man, whose name I had caught to be Jake, to come. I took the time to study Sam carefully. I heartily wished that I had pulled the blood bond from him but the others wanted it to remain. I perched atop a headstone and waited.

It took another half hour for the young man named Jake to enter the cemetery. I remained hidden from view and watched as he approached the gate with the key. The others came out from their hiding places and confronted him. Jake started at the sight of Sam. He declared that Sam was dead and Dean looked uncomfortable.

"Next time finish the job," Sam sneered.

"I did. I cut your spinal cord, you were dead," Jake insisted.

Sam hesitated for a fraction of a second and that was all Jake needed. He looked at Ellen and made her put the gun to her head.

I was impressed. It was a good standoff and the others were forced to put their guns down. Jake inserted the colt into the lock and Dean and Bobby rushed Ellen to prevent her from shooting herself, the gun went off but didn't hit anyone. Sam killed Jake and I felt a shiver through me as I saw the cold look on his face, while fired the bullets into him. I shook my head. This was not the Sam I had always known. I silently berated the others for not allowing me to purge the blood. The blood would influence him and he needed to fight it. There is always a darkness that resides in the human soul and now, in Sam, it was given something to latch unto.

Dean and Bobby's expressions mirrored my horror. Dean walked up to the door and pulled out the gun. Then the lock started to disengage. Bobby looked at the door and screamed, "Run."

They took off quickly and jumped behind the tombstones as the doors were blasted open and the army was unleashed. The force of the blast was tremendous and they scattered along the barrier until they could find a point to breach it. I moved around them and entered through the gate. I flexed my muscles and took full angelic form. Forcing others to scatter quickly. I saw that several of the damned were attempting to breach the gates and I used my sword to knock the barriers out of the way for them. They would be hunted later and recaptured. For now, they were the perfect cover to permit John's escape.

I crossed the various levels until I reached where John was held. I walked up to him and he shrank from me.

"John," I called to him.

"You don't look like…" he trailed off as his eyes widened in terror.

"John!" I shook him. "It's time to leave. I told you that I'd be different."

He shook his head and nodded. I pulled the chains from around his wrists and ankles and freed him. I picked him up and carried him to the bridge out of Hell.

"I can walk," he said.

"Not yet," I told him.

I crossed the bridge with him and carried him up the steps. I put him on his feet at the gate.

"You have to walk through on your own now," I said. "Be careful, John. You're going to see your sons. But you can't linger."

He nodded and fought his way through the gate. I walked behind him and held open the barriers. When we crossed the threshold I saw Bobby and Ellen trying to close it while Dean was lying against a headstone. His face was bleeding and the Spawn had the gun pointed to his head. Sam was trapped against a tree and couldn't move to save his brother.

John saw this and made his way over to help his sons. I was about to stop him and changed my mind. Bobby and Ellen struggled to shut the gate. I reached above them and pushed it shut. I grinned to myself it was good that they thought they had shut the door. I returned my attention to John and his sons. John had managed to pull the Spawn out of the body of the human host but he was unable to keep it contained. John went flying backwards and the Spawn retook the human form.

Dean had managed in the confusion to grab the gun and fired the last bullet in the colt. The Spawn was stunned by the action and didn't have enough time to get out of the way. He died. Sam was freed from the tree and Dean struggled to his feet. John stared at his sons. I reached him and touched him. He stepped away from me and walked towards them.

Dean's eyes filled with tears as he saw his father. John placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and he looked over at Sam.

"John, it's time," I called to him.

He nodded and walked backwards to where I stood. He refused to take his eyes off his sons and they refused to do the same as well. In that moment I saw fully that it was his love for his sons that kept his consciousness together. I placed my hands on John's shoulders and enveloped him in the bright light.

I pulled him towards Micah who waited for him. John frowned when he saw him.

"Kelsey?" he was confused.

"It's okay, John," I said. "Micah is going to take you now."

"What about my boys? Dean's soul?" he cried.

"Don't worry about it," I told him. "You have other concerns now."

"How can I not worry?" John demanded.

"Everything will work out," Micah spoke. "Trust and have faith in that. Your fight is over."

John blinked furiously, "I…" he stopped.

"It's okay," I assured him. "Go with Micah. Let the living take care of the living."

John nodded and Micah wrapped John in his wings and removed him.

I returned to the cemetery and surveyed the damage. I saw the others gathered together. Ellen and Bobby were discussing what they had witnessed in hushed tones while Sam and Dean were standing next to the Impala. I drew close to them.

"Dean," Sam said.

"Can't we just celebrate a little bit?" Dean pleaded.

"How long?" Sam demanded.

"A year," Dean replied. " Don't you get mad me, don't you do that. What was I supposed to do? It's my job to look after you."

"And what do you think my job is?" Sam choked on his emotion. "I guess I'm going to have to save your ass for a change."

Dean smiled at his brother.

Bobby walked up to them accompanied by Ellen.

"How many do you figure got out?" he asked.

"A hundred, maybe two," Sam guessed.

"I hope to Hell you boys are ready 'cause the war's just begun," Bobby said.

"Well," Dean replied and walked to the trunk of the Impala. He threw the gun in the trunk and looked at Sam. "We got work to do," he said as he slammed the trunk shut.

They got into the car and drove away from the cemetery. I perched atop another headstone. I watched the taillights of the car disappear into the night. I looked backed at the now resealed Hell's gate. I folded my arms and thought of the different demons that had been freed from their imprisonment. I thought of all the events that had brought me to this place and I thought of what Bobby had said. He was right. It was now war.

I thought of the Winchesters. Their father John, the boys Sam and Dean and what they had been through. I thought of all they had sacrificed. I thought of all they had gained. I nodded to myself. As far as Dean knew he had a year to live. Sam needed to be purged and all those demons had to be put back in Hell. It was going to be a rough year for them. But I had faith. These boys had survived more than anyone would have expected them to and they were ready to fight. Dean was right. They had work to do.

The End

…. or is it?

_A final note: Thank you to all my readers for sharing this story with me. It has been an interesting experience. _

_Laceym._


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